Back Under .500

Well, the Jays have dipped below the .500 mark and will be hard pressed to finish over it. Meh. It's hard to remember such a painfully useless denouement to a season as this. Basically the only thing that's getting me through these troubled times is that Kansas State cougar video and using Thesaurus.com to look up words like denouement.

Of course, I'm not the only one. Everybody covering the team is having difficulty coping with the grim realities of what the next couple of weeks have in store. Parkes has already told us how he feels, but how how about the Star ("Torture Lasts 4 1/2 Hours For Jays, Fans") or Wilner ("Yesterday's game was like a microcosm of the Jays' season: it was sloppy, full of missed opportunities, and agonizingly long.")? Fantastically accurate.

OK, so then what about the positive news, eh?

Well, Aaron Hill hit his 42nd double-- a club record for second basemen-- and will soon likely break the Jays' record for homers by a second baseman as well. Pretty impressive numbers when you consider that for five hall-of-fame calibre seasons that position was manned by the player Jerry Howarth calls, along with Willie Mays, the greatest he's ever seen: Roberto Alomar.

Rusty Adams hit his first major league home run since July of last year, and seems well on his way to securing the coveted "25th man" position on next year's roster. Adam Lind hit one too-- though overall he did go 1-for-5, but I guess I won't mention that.

Meh.

Scoreboard-Gate (and Morons)
I know I mentioned this last week, but seriously, Joe Torre... fuck off. I can't believe the overreaction that some people have had to the awesomely hilarious beaning of the video game A-Rod that was shown on the JumboTron last week, including the Yankees' manager.

Think about it. This asshole has been around the game of baseball for his whole life, and has been a manager for thirty years. Maybe he's never actually told one of his players to throw at an opponent because there is simply an understanding about "the code" that doesn't need to be spoken, but it's certainly happened on his watch. It happened this year when Clemens threw at Rios. And did high and fucking mighty Joe Torre say anything about it being "ridiculous" then? About about throwing at a guy for real. Did he attempt to discipline Clemens for something he seems to think is so awful? But now he gets all fucking indignant about the exact same thing happening in a video game??? I'll say it again: Joe Torre... fuck off.

Some peoples' priorities are so goddamn out of whack sometimes that it makes me want to chuck a hardball at their faces. And I don't even just mean Torre. Take a look at some of the reaction to this story about the Yankees' Shelley Duncan signing an autograph for a 10-year-old Boston fan with "Red Sox suck". Obviously, the guy is having a bit harmless bit of fun with the kid, yet people are actually calling for him to be suspended over it! If this is actually the kind of thing that genuinely elicits your righteous indignation, you should probably just do us all a favour and kill yourself. You're not doing society any good by trying to enlighten us with your trivial little opinions, or... well... existing.

OK, that's maybe a bit too strong, but for fuck sakes, why not put that energy into something that actually matters??? If you have such passion for things done wrong to children, Jesus... there are thousands and thousands and thousands of better ways to spend that energy.

Awesome Paraphrased Wilnerism of the Day 1: In response to a caller teling him that a lot of fans want to see Gord Ash back: "OK, they're all wrong."

Awesome Paraphrased Wilnersim of the Day 1b: "It just is a point that's ludicrous. That's a ludicrous point to make, and it's born out of emotion and frustration."

Wilner's best stuff, though, came later. For starters, on the Jays This Week show he pointed out that John McDonald represents the fourth Jays player to forgo free agency to stay with the club. While McDonald, unlike at least two of the previous three (Wells, Halladay and Overbay) couldn't exactly have written his own ticket, Wilner correctly points out that it says a lot about the clubhouse, the atmosphere and the organization that players aren't ready to jump off the boat as soon as they get a chance. FYI, a lot of it probably has to do with Gibbers' often-criticized laid back persona and the kind of clubhouse he runs.

Another Wilner gem came from his segment on Mike Hogan's show this morning. Talking about the Rios and stealing bases he said, "The word from the Blue Jays is, every time they've given him the green light, he's gone on the next pitch. . . so he's got to learn a little bit."

This is exactly why the people who are adamant that the Jays need to be stealing more bases and bunting more are complete fucking morons. They talk about those things as though there's no skill to them whatsoever. You have to pick your spots well to steal bases successfully and you have to know how to lay down a proper bunt... fuckwads.

Lastly...
The Woodbine Mile went yesterday, and in a fit of procrastination to avoid going into work on a Sunday-- which I eventually did anyway-- I decided to mingle with the dregs of society and hit up Albert's Parlour for some solo off-track betting. Not the proudest moment of my weekend-- though, considering how amazingly shitfaced I got on Friday, not the least proud either. The thing about playing the ponies is, I waver between pissing my money away on longshots and playing it incredibly safe. I hit the exactor on the first race that I saw, which was a total pussy bet on a couple of favourites that netted me a cool $12 from my $2 box. Nothing to write home about, but fuck... I'll take it.

My day was ruined by the next race, though-- which despite some varied odds, seemed even to this amateur to be pretty wide open. But I don't say my day was ruined because I pissed some money away on favourites, and threw a little more on a couple of the longer shots who looked like they weren't bad-- which I did. I actually managed to walk out of the place with a couple of dollars more than I had bet, so that was alright. But that wasn't the thing. As the horses came down the final stretch and the favourites started to fade, there were some crazy yelps from a couple of guys in there. The top two horses were 6, 8-- a pair of longshots-- and apparently there were a couple of fucks in there who had bet on them.

Now, somebody who wins $600 on a $2 exactor bet is either making some really fucking dumb bets, making every bet he possibly can, or incredibly astute. Whatever it was, that sucked the life out of me. My $12 felt like it was dog shit. I couldn't go on hoping for my piddly little bets to come in. I got the hell out of there and went and put in my four hours of unpaid overtime at the office. Fun day.