Lord, I Was Born a Ramblin' Man

The Jays now seem to have about the same level of enthusiasm for their season as, well... I do. Not that it was ever going to be easy to win a meaningless game against a team with a whole lot to still play for, but last night the Jays turned in another tepid performance against the Yankees. Then again, how is that different from most of the other series' they've played this season?

It's tough to gauge what the impact of a shitty September will be. One might be inclined to pass it off as an understandably quiet fade into the sunset, but it sure as fuck doesn't look good-- and that's undoubtedly the biggest concern for the suits upstairs.

Doubt me? Do my undoubtedlies not carry enough weight these days? Well, ass nuts, just look at the way the Glaus allegations have been swept under the rug and how an injury he's played through all year is now (for reasons that are entirely transparent) season ending. Would Glaus have been shut down completely if there was no shitstorm for him to duck away from? Doubtful.

It's the same with Wells and his shoulder thing, and the same with lying about the BJ Ryan injury. They seem to weight the costs of their options against the impact it will have on ticket sales, then act accordingly. I don't mean gate revenue alone, that is, but everything that comes along with it (maintaining the image that people still want to go out and see ballgames, keeping ratings high and ad revenues rolling in).

It's a very Andre Agassi-like corporate mentality, and I'm not exactly convinced that it's the right way to run a team-- but there is merit to it in the fact that, with the revenues goes the budget.

It's undeniable that, with more money to throw around, the Jays would be in better position to contend with the Yankees and Red Sox. So as much as we'd like to see Curtis Thigpen and Adam Lind see some more action-- and when the fuck did the plan to get Thigpen in there two or three times a week go out the window?-- in the grand scheme of things, is a handful of games of major league experience for those guys really worth the impact of letting the fans think you've packed it in for a month? I doubt it.

What Does This Mean For Gibbons?
According to a number of sources, changes in the coaching staff are imminent once the season ends. The most obvious victim of this purge would be Mickey Brantley, though I think it makes less sense to fire him in the off-season than to have done it mid-stream. But what do I know. Ernie Whitt has also been rumoured to be ripe for the pluckin'-- the "sacrificial lamb", as Bob McCown said this afternoon.

As for Gibbons, Ricciardi explained on the Fan this morning that he deserves a "mulligan" as much as anybody else on the team. So, I guess if JP is to be believed-- which... well... who knows?...-- he'll be back.

Personally, I couldn't be more thrilled. Not because I love Gibbons as a manager, but because I love Gibbers as a character! Lately, with Gibbons and the team looking so completely resigned to their fate, it's been easy to forget how full of shrapnel-assed piss, vinegar and awesomeness he is. But like the job Gibbers has done or not (and I've been slowly creeping toward the "not" column after some questionable moves in the last few weeks) it's an understandable move on Ricciardi's part.

Right now JP's playing it cool and confident, knowing he's essentially locked into his players anyway (especially after Aaron Hill told him that he doesn't want to change positions), and that there's a dearth of impact free-agents that fit the Jays' needs.

Firing the manager now, but keeping the team intact, causes a huge crack in that facade. Such a move would hardly exude confidence about the squad Ricciardi has assembled, especially after fans have been told all year that it's injuries and bad luck that caused the Jays the most trouble. It would seem superficial and panicky-- and more importantly (to JP and Uncle Ted), probably wouldn't be nearly as marketable as showing resolve and confidence that this year's underachievement was nothing more than a blip.

No, the time for panic is not now. It's next May.

Sticking with Gibbons gives Ricciardi one last Get Out of Jail Free card. If he plans to keep the team together like he says he is, and they're relatively healthy in April yet they still fall flat, JP'll have to start paddling to save his own skin, and Gibbons will be the first man overboard.

Ricciard conveniently failed to mention himself in his little "mulligan" spiel, but he's taking one for himself, as well. He won't be so lucky if things look the same this time next year-- especially if he's not going to say "there's a problem here and we're going to do everything we can to fix it." Personally I don't really see any other way out. Next year it's either a meaningful September or JP goes down with the ship. I can deal with that.

Last Night's Beverages of Choice: Bavaria, Red Cap

Awesome Paraphrased Lajoieisms of the Night:
OK... I admit it. I pretty much missed this game entirely. But I do know that "the Rog" was filling in for Wilner due to the Jewish high holidays. At least, he did for the Home Hardware Out of Town Scoreboard, so I'm going to assume he did Jays Talk as well. I'm sure that Wilner's is a difficult seat to fill, and that Lajoie did so admirably. But I honestly don't have a fucking clue.

Lastly, and Quickly. . .
With Apologies To Jesse Jackson
We've known for quite some time now that Curtis Thigpen, for some unknown reason, is not black. I know, I know,... it confuses the hell out of me too. But now try this on for size: the Jays' top prospect, 2006 first rounder Travis Snyder? Also not black!

What the hell is going on here!

Yet the very dapper-sounding, Vernon Wells almost certainly is black. What the fuck??? With a name like that he should be wearing a velvet suit and hanging out with Aleister Crowley or something. Though, in fairness, this year he's played more like the other Vernon Wells-- Bennett from Commando*-- who is definitely white.

If I live to be a hundred, I'll never understand it.

Matt Stairs doesn't give great quotes. Check out this awesome Matt Stairs quote.
Asked if his success this year exceeded his expectations, Stairs said: "I never set goals... but my goal was to hit 10 home runs."

Goal-d!!! Meuh!!!


Some People Just Don't Get It
Whoever runs the website where I first saw this is a retard. They labelled it "Sucky Video", which is pretty much like calling the Mona Lisa "shitty painting of an ugly broad". Clearly this is the awesomest non-John-Gibbons-related thing ever...



*I can beat you John!!!! I can beat you!