We're Not Quite Ready For "The Cameron Head", But...

Mike Cameron is either really dumb, really awesome, or really drunk. Or really awesomely drunk-- which would make him awesome, but also kind of dumb.

But no matter which of the options is the right one, I'm still thoroughly impressed with how insanely fucking candid the impending free agent was during a recent interview with author Todd Gallagher (who I guess I can refer to as "author", since he wrote a book I'm about to quote from, but I don't mean for it to look like I think anyone should have a fucking clue who this guy is, nor should anyone presume he's not a complete hack on my account).

AOL's Fanhouse blog prints an excerpt from Gallagher's upcoming masterpiece Andy Roddick Beat Me With a Frying Pan in which Cameron-- just suspended 25 games for testing positive for a banned stimulant-- admits to playing drunk. Awesome!!!!

It's not as common as greenies, but big leaguers have been known to step on the field liquored up. ... Almost every current major leaguer I spoke to knew of players who had stepped on the field under the influence. When asked what the signs were, the players typically responded the way Giant Ryan Klesko and Padre Jake Peavy did: 'I just knew.' Interestingly, another Padre, center fielder Mike Cameron, had a more intimate experience with game-day tipsiness:

"Shit, I've played drunk."

When?

"New York City."

What were the circumstances?

"I went four for four with two jacks and eight ribbies. I'm not saying that's the only day I played drunk, but that was the best one."

Fanhouse then gets all high and mighty as though it's weird for a dude to be drunk at one o'clock on a Saturday afternoon in August, which I'll spare you.

These comments, along with the suspension, are going to wind up costing Cameron a whole lot of money in the free agent market, and that's such a shame. Beer and baseball go together like Dog the Bounty Hunter and unironic racism. And I don't just mean in the stands. But as an experienced wiffle ball player, I can tell you that pounding a few delicious beverages heightens the senses and makes for a better ballgame. Plus, if I know wiffle-- and I do-- at least ninety per cent of the strategy is based on being better than the other team at arguing, and I can only assume that Major League Baseball is pretty much the same.

So fuckin' giv'er, Mike. That's what I say. Don't let the sweethearts over on Fanhouse pass judgement.