Overbay ... over injury

If any of you are concerned about the state of humour in sports journalism, then you're probably very concerned about Sportsnet's Jason Portuondo. I actually have to admit, he almost does seem to have a personality compared to the rest of the stiffs over at that place. But he always insists on using a bad pun for almost every fucking sentence he utters. Those of you who remember his why-the-fuck-would-you-do-that commentary regarding one of Lyle Overbay's dingers as "Overbay ... over wall" will know what I'm talking about.

But shit, my subject title is all about good news. While Overbay can't be too happy about the results of our latest smokin' poll (not about the winner, just the fact he was too ugly to even be nominated), the state of his right hand is leaving him with lots to smile about. And in more ways than one! HEYO! That's how we do the shit right, Portuondo! Those are the kinda zingers you need to down a six pack before going to work to pull off. Woo!

The recovery time for the two surgeries to Overbay's penis's best friend as a result of shitbag John Danks pitch on June 3, 2007, just might be winding down. While Overbay's team photo not only indicates that his facial profile takes up about a third of his face, it also suggests he's retarded. But Overbay was concise, yet philosophical about his recovery:

"I don't feel anything ... It's like I never had it there. There's nothing now. It feels good. Actually, I feel normal, so I'm not thinking about it or anything."

Just to paraprase: Overbay doesn't feel anything. Then feels nothing. Then feels good. Then feels normal.

The important thing here is that he doesn't have to think about anything. And that he's getting better.

The unfortunate thing here is that, despite all the free time, Overbay did not get sick of listening to Pearl Jam's "Ten" and failed to visit a CD store to update his one-CD collection.

This all bodes well for Overbay making it back in time to start the 2008 season. Overbay will be testing out his hitting come Spring Training and of course we all hope he nails it. But until then, the doctors gave him the OK to celebrate his annual pre-season ritual of getting on a private plane with his good buddies and some poor lost soul for a good old fashioned aerial gangbang.

P.S. Despite the rather harsh tone of this post, it's all in fun. I can't think of a player on the Jays who seems like a better dude than Lyle Overbay.