Internet Friendly Content Shifter

I'm not going to lie to you, unless it comes out that during his time in Toronto he got Ace hooked on the juice (which plenty of circumstantial evidence might suggest-- see above), I have no clue if I'm at all going to wind up giving a shit or not about tomorrow's Roger Clemens bullshit. However, at the moment I'm kind of thinking that on the off chance the shit seriously does hit the fan, I'm just going to go ahead and clear out some of the mostly-pointless stuff I would otherwise considered writing about tomorrow.

So, here for your link-viewing pleasure... is me mailing in a post...


Bob Elliott of the Sun gets what the ticket horseshit is all about!

Bud Selig says that baseball doesn't need a third party to administer their drug testing plan. . . because obviously they've done so well on their own.

The Mockingbird brings us news that William S. Burroughs is alive and well and blogging about the Jays. (Jesus... who the fuck isn't blogging about the Jays these days?)

Wilner has finally emerged after a week or so of quaking over future Grill Room debates (but more on that another time) to give us a new blog post. It may be titled "Waiting for the lies", but it's not all Clemens-- he also weighs in on a certain "galactically stupid" decision made by Rogers this week.

SI's Tom Verducci says that young pitchers dramatically increase their injury risk when they pitch more than 30 innings more than in their previous season, and this year the red flag has more than been raised in Dustin McGowan's direction.

I do enjoy a good shitting on the people over at the Pro Sports Daily Jays message board, but some of them, like the ones who've got a new Jays blog, the Southpaw, actually don't have their heads up their asses.

Tracy Ringolsby checks in with an AL East preview. Predictable bullshit... sort of like the Jays finishing third again. Oh.

"No, no Andy. You misunderstood. I told you my wife used HGH. I was using steroids." And by that I mean, Pettitte might have fucked Clemens in the ass. And here I was certain Andy was a top.

Those fucking lame dipshits at CBS Sportsline don't quite understand the difference between individual players and teams, proclaiming that the Jays "should have a lock on the Comeback Player of the Year".

More Sportsline insanity has Adam Lind taken higher in an AL mock draft than Frank Thomas. I can see here that the fantasy-playing public is in good hands.

MLB Trade Rumors throws down some guesses about where the remaining free agent pitchers might land, suggesting the Jays would do well to consider Josh Fogg, Bartolo Colon, Jeff Weaver, or if they're in contention in June, trading for Freddy Garcia. And a rumour is born...

The Tao nails their interpretation of Robert MacLeod's excellent piece on Roy Halladay in the Globe. And I nail my interpretation of the Tao's work by saying that they nailed it.

Eric Karabell tells all twelve people dumb enough to be ESPN Insiders that Frank Thomas is a big time fantasy sleeper. (Thanks Eli!)

Yahoo! says we should be speaking of Aaron Hill "in the same breath as Jeff Kent", but then inexplicably lists Russ Adams in their list of "other notable 27ers". I think they mean 27 year olds. Oh, and notable for fucking what? Sucking? Having a radio commercial two years ago where he was supposed to be talking to his mom but she sounded like she was his age and kind of hot?

Finally... sticking with Yahoo!, a pair of their fantasy gurus ranked Dustin McGowan the 34th best pitcher in (fantasy) baseball. Sure, it might not sound all that impressive, but he came in ahead of a few over-hyped pieces of shit I can think of.