Wednesday Grab Bag
Sure, we all know that Casey Janssen is now out for the season, but do we know how to properly pronounce Ricciardi when visiting North Dakota? Thanks to the wizards at Bismark's KXMB (via the AP) we sure as fuck do!
Why does John Donovan of Sports Illustrated want me to hate Jacoby Ellsbury? I mean, I don't mind doing it, and I probably would have eventually come to hate him anyway-- provided he's not a complete and hilarious bust-- but why force it with a bullshit glowing profile? It's hardly unprecedented for a kid to come up on fire in his first taste of the big leagues, put up wildly impressive stats in a small sample size, only to wind up with a future that looks like it's not exactly going to blow the balls off the American League (see: Lind, Adam). Trying to poignantly quote a fucking 24 year old saying, "I just like to win. That pretty much sums it up," as though it out to mean anything to anyone outside of the folks in Boston lapping up this shit being spoon-fed to them? Fuck off.
Seems like some folks in Cincinnati want to compare the HD situation in their market to what's going on in New York and Toronto. Hey fuckfaces, this may come as a surprise to you, but Toronto is a little bit ridiculously fucking bigger than Cincinnati. I don't think it's really so unreasonable to assume that, if Toronto is hip to the cutting edge of all sorts of new technology, Cincinnati might naturally lag a little bit behind. I mean, look at our stunningly gorgeous, downtown waterfront stadium and compare it to that piece of shit of theirs that's pictured in the article. I'm sorry Cincinnati, but you're probably just going to have to accept Toronto's supremacy on pretty much every front.
Wednesday's Detroit Free Press had a nifty little rundown of the upcoming "All You Can Eat" nights at several stadiums throughout the majors. Here are the details on Toronto's: "1,600 seats for the team's first "All-You-Can-Eat Weekend" vs. the Royals on May 23-24-25. Location: 200 Level Outfield in right field. What's included: Hot dogs, nachos, peanuts, popcorn, soft drinks. Price: $39." Wait a fucking second... no Philly Cheesesteaks? Can you say BULLSHIT???
If you've got a strong stomach, check out Wilner's latest. He outlines some of the guys who have had the same injury as Janssen, and I'm not going to lie to you: it's ugly. Fuck. As much as I'm trying to convince myself that this is hardly a death blow to the Jays' pitching staff, I don't want to make it look like I'm unconcerned for Janssen's career... because apparently I should be.
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20 comments:
Ha ha. Come to the Rogers Centre where you can have all you can eat SHITTY CONVIENENCE STORE FOOD.
I'd take the injury reports on laburm surgery with a big grain of salt. I researched this a lot 2 years ago. That Carroll article is like 4 years old, which is a lot for medicine. And it is possible for players to come back from labrum surgery if there's a clean surgery - Carpenter did. People's bodies are pretty unique in how they can come back.
Yeah, Chris Carpenter. That's a GRRRREEAAAT omen. (When's he gonna pitch again? Like, never?)
Also, any time the DJF posts something that includes the words "Hey fuckfaces" is a happy time.
I cannot BELIEVE the people in Cincinnati stand for watching games in that ugly thing.
Cincinatti: More than a second-tier Delta hub. Well, not really.
Has anyone else seen Elster and Godfrey's newest scam? They're auctioning the remaining tickets for opening day. Just when we thought they couldn't screw us any more...
It all sounds like a Crazy Joes drapery commercial
Is that for REAL?
The auction? I got an email this morning.
"Opening Night vs. Boston on April 4 is almost sold out. There are only individual tickets remaining. However great Field Level Bases seats are available in a Ticket Auction."
CONCERNING TICKETS
GO TO STUBHUB
I went there, LOTS of seats at reasonable prices . . . lots together too
more importantly, "how bout that Buck Coats eh"
- David from Saskatchewan, Jays recapper extraordinaire
No parks today?
Sports writing bums me out. Maybe it's because these players talk in cliches but do we really need another story about a young player who "just wants to win"? Aren't the arms of American sports writers tired from wanking the Red Sox?
The all-you-can eat should be fun; unfortunately, the line starts behind human black-hole Ernie Whitt, who will be plowing his way through the 1200 O'Dawg combos they have on hand for this event faster than Thomas at a 'giner convention.
I think you mean 'giner at a Frank Thomas convention. Zinger!!
If this ends up being Season From Hell III, we either need to start making live sacrifices to the baseball gods or get rid of JP "unlucky" Ricciardi.
Maybe we need to get rid of you!
Holy shit, stub hub also got me the tickets in under 24 hours. Impressive!
I think i'll go clean my underwear now.
antianonymous
You should have stuck with the Jerk store line
antianonymous, I meant that (as Mike Green @ battersbox does) that JP just hasn't been lucky enough. Everyone should grab anything of superstitious value and hold onto it.
anonymous, I can't right now. I'm at work.
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