How Sweep It Is!

When Frank Thomas drops an F-Bomb, it's a beautiful thing. When it's not just an F-Bomb but a grand slam (or, as I think I've wisely decided not to term it, a Grand F-Bombi), it's at least four times better. And when it's a two-out grand slam in the first week of April that drives a stake through the heart of a few thousand Sox fans and sends them home disappointed as the Jays ride Frankie's big black bat (you perv) to a sweep of the World Series champions? Well, that's probably the greatest thing that's ever happened. Ever.

It really makes you quickly forget how badly over-matched he looked against Joba Chamberlain earlier in the week, or about the ugly reports we were getting out of Spring Training (mostly from crotchety old man, Jeff Blair, who has already taken a nice steamy deuce on the Jays' magnificent sweep). Frank took a curtain call after his giant F-Bomb, and holy fuck was it well-deserved.

To put things in perspective, in the three games of this series Thomas dropped two F-Bombs and had eight RBIs. For the whole month of May '07, he had four and nine.

But even with Frank's huge, black, veiny heroics, Jays fans had to consider themselves lucky that they were able walk away with from Sunday's game feeling so ridiculously good. There was, of course, a very scary outfield collision between Vernon Wells and John McDonald-- who one play earlier had proved to all that he is still made of equal parts magic and awesomeness by making an astonishing, diving, spinning play to rob Dustin Pedroia. Anyone aware of the Jays' recent injury history (which is, um... everyone. Thanks, JP) couldn't have been anything but horrified for the brief moment when Wells and McDonald were laid out on the turf. Fortunately, Wells quickly got up, and McDonald eventually did as well, and they both stayed in the game.

As for the Massholes, sure, they all must have had hilariously disappointing vacations, but I'm sure it must be of at least a little consolation that they got to witness what almost certainly has to be the best catch of Manny Ramirez's career. When Thomas ripped a 97 mph Beckett fastball in the at-bat prior to the Giant F-Bomb (Delcarmen's was 95-- and who exactly says that Frank has lost bat speed?) Manny somehow managed to chug all the way to the wall, leap, and then somehow made a legitimately tough catch. "He left cleat marks," says the Boston Globe.

This Afternoon's Beverages of Choice: I actually didn't drink anything at the park today. Does anybody else have this awful flu that's going around? It was all I could muster to get drunk on Friday and Saturday nights. Thinking about digging into a couple cans of Bavaria that I've got in the fridge, though...

Awesome Paraphrased Wilnerisms of the Afteroon: I've been led to believe that Wilner was really nailing it today, but I'm sad to say that I missed him. I've been a little lazy in getting a replacement for my portable Wilner radio after it was destroyed by leaking battery acid from cheap, shitty Powercell batteries. I'll have to do that this week, I guess. Wilner's blog is back up and working, at least.

Randomness
I wasn't able to find him, but I really hope that TBS brought Craig Sager and his epic fashion sense to the park today. Did anybody see him? Was it as awesome as I think it was?

I sat in the section behind the TD Comfort Zone today, and my observations are two-fold: one, we like to make a crack or two about Ernie Whitt's weight from time to time, but after seeing him bent over in the first base coach's box all afternoon, I couldn't help but think that it's quite possible the man has a fantastic ass. Two, maybe it's that my standards have taken a huge dive (see above), but either the girl serving the Comfort Zone today got way hotter over the off-season, or that's a new girl. Either way, if I was Parkes, this would totally be where I make some kind of inappropriate remark.

I can't have been the only one who caught Rios horribly overthrowing Vernon during a mid-inning game of catch on Sunday, which forced Vernon to have to go all the way over to the wall to retrieve the errant throw, slightly delaying the start of (I think) the fourth. Can I?

Don't forget that tomorrow is the 31st anniversary of the Jays' first game. Please celebrate responsibly.