Pregame-ish Ramblings

If you'd have told me yesterday that Steve Trachsel would get lit up by the Jays and only last into the third inning, I would have probably thought it might even be possible that a Trachsel start for once wouldn't be boring as fuck. Funny thing is, I'm an idiot, and that game was boring as a tall girl in the sack. I wasn't even jacked enough to sarcastically yell out "Playoffs!" after the final pitch, and I'm still not jacked enough and to go back and find a better verb than "jacked".

Parkes basically said anything remotely worth saying about that one, so let's just move on...

The Dome Is... Closed
It's be-yoooooo-tiful outside right now, so I gave the Jays a call this afternoon and asked whether or not the dome would be open for tonight's tilt with the Rangers and had a brief chat with a pleasant little kitten from somewhere in down in Uncle Ted's bowels. Short answer: No. Long answer? No.

"They haven't done the testing yet," I'm told. So, pleasant as ever, I ask, "Do you have any idea when they'll be doing that?"

"When the weather cooperates." Then silence. Cold, hard silence.

OK, OK. I get it! Please accept my apologies, Blue Jays office woman, for being a fan with the audacity to call up, interrupt your busy day, and ask a perfectly legitimate question when it's 18 fucking degrees outside. Maybe if I was from Boston, huh?

Foggy Logic Breakdown
Regular readers know that I've been having a bit of a hard time taking a right proper shit on Richard Griffin lately, mostly because of how easy it is and how fashionable it's become. Let's see if we can't quickly change that, because (and this may shock you) Griffin's latest Wednesday mail bag had a nugget or two insanity. Let's review:

Burnett is a career lunkhead as proved by his maxing out at 12 wins in his best season. Burnett is the Jeff George of baseball. This guy should have been chasing 20 wins at least a couple of times, but hasn’t. You can lead this horse to water (McGowan’s success) but you can’t make him think.

I will give you a million dollars if you can tell me what the fuck that last sentence (deadline looming) is supposed to mean. McGowan's success is water? How the hell is this even supposed work? Somebody led AJ to McGowan's success? What???

I mean, I see how "think" and "drink" do rhyme, but um... this is just flat out gibberish. I guess it's like I always say, words of a fucker flock toguther. Zing! Wordsmith!

And honestly, wins? You're blaming AJ Burnett for his lack of wins? You, Richard Griffin, who is paid to follow baseball and, we can only presume, watched all of the outstanding Burnett and Marcum starts that were pissed away by the Jays' offence last year are blaming a pitcher for not having enough wins? You, who sat through Gustavo Chacin getting the shit knocked out of him to the tune of a 5.05 ERA, while inexplicably going 9-4? For real? You're seriously not shitting me?

Holy fuck.

Keith Law Hates Black People Empty Gestures
OK, going to tread a bit lightly here (except for that superbly droll heading), because I don't want to put words in anybody's mouth, especially on something of a touchy subject, but holy shit, did anyone else catch our friend-- and former Jays front office guy, current snide-remarker in JP's direction (and chat whore)-- Keith Law on ESPN All Night Radio last night?

He basically said that having the players wear number 42 on Jackie Robinson day (as the O's Adam Jones did) was a "meaningless gesture". And by "basically said", I mean "exactly said".

Now, before anyone starts going nuts, let me try to put this into context. He said it was self congradulatory on the part of MLB, and vastly less important than things like programs to promote minority hiring in major league front offices. In no way did he ever suggest that anything about Jackie Robinson or his legacy was meaningless. Obviously.

Obviously obviously obviously. OK?

And while I do understand his point of view that it's showy bullshit from MLB without actually really doing anything, and while I completely understand and embrace being a cynical fuckface about just about everything, part of Law's argument was that it was just going to be done once and forgotten again, which didn't exactly sit right with me.

I mean, is Flag Day a meaningless gesture? Victoria Day? Simcoe Day? Groundhog Day?

OK, maybe those all are complete bullshit meaningless gestures. But I guess I just figure that regardless of whatever MLB bullshit is involved, it can't ever exactly be a bad thing to give a nod to Robinson's contributions, can it? I know that's not at all what Law was driving at, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't somebody out there at 2:30 a.m. taking what he said entirely the wrong way. If you caught it, you know what I'm talking about. I've been trying to find a clip, but I got nothing.

An Afternoon with the Fan590
Wilner showed up on the Fan this afternoon to chat with Barb and the Deacon. A few important notes:

1) Wilner passed the afternoon's first test by agreeing that the Travelling Wilburys are awesome. Is there anything even close to being deniable about this fact except for Jeff Lynne? No. There isn't. And Don't Bring Me Down kills. And this was going on during Roy's part in You Got It. Nails. Roy is 100% underappreciated genius.

2) No JaysTalk tonight, as the game is on 610 am because the Fan has decided to broadcast another flaccid performance by the Raptors. However, Wednesdays with JP is back for another year, and will begin tomorrow night with the ever-popular Wednesdays with JP, Thursday Edition.

3) Not baseball-related, but can someone please call Bob McCown and tell him he's ridiculously dead wrong about the UFC and, just like with soccer, he sounds like a dinosaur trying to diminish sports that he has no fucking clue about in order to preserve his stature as someone with relevant opinions on sports. Love McCown, but that kind of stuff is bush league.

4) More non-baseball, but did anyone catch McCown and Kelley talking dreamily about the heyday of Dolly Parton? At one point they clarified that, during the period they were referring to, Dolly was know primarily for her assets. To which they add, "She made no bones about it." Sure didn't sound like it from the way those two were talking.