Professionals
OK, as someone who likes to pretend on the internet that he's a functioning alcoholic, I figure I'd better toss in my two sober cents on what's been happening down at Rogers Centre this week. Not to sound too NRA fuckface or anything, but in all this discussion about that dirty scourge alcohol, I can't help thinking about the tired old line "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." And while I don't really buy that when it comes to guns, it's absolutely bang on with respect to booze and what's been going on in the 500s. Cups of beer were not attacking unsuspecting patrons here. Small flasks were not exploding in peoples' back pockets, sending shrapnel out in a ten yard radius. OK? As someone who can hold his liquor well enough not to turn into a complete assface (just go with me on this), I'm going to have to stand up for booze and say that this Paul Godfrey / Dustin Parkes reactionary bullshit is completely uncalled for. Leave booze alone.
Sure, alcohol fuels the kind of behaviour that everybody's getting all outraged by, but gasoline fuels cars, and you don't see people blaming the oil companies for all the damage cars do to the environment. Right?
Er...
Still, would it not make a whole lot more fucking sense to have a zero tolerance policy on assholes? Isn't that a little more... I don't know... just? sensible? adult? There are several words of awesomeness that might apply. I mean, I would gladly give security more leeway to throw out ignorant fans who are ruining it for everybody else instead of having them checking beverages, patting people down, and forcing the poor sap in the 500s who can't afford a better seat and doesn't have either the balls or the know-how to just steal one to go dry. Is that so fucking wrong?
No. No, it's not wrong, Stoeten. It is 100% bang on fucking right.
In fact, it's kind of the exact same policy that's in place pretty much everywhere in the free fucking world where alcohol is sold. (FYI, its also the same concept behind why it's garbage that I'm not allowed to quietly sip a beer in the street or a public park.) This policy would not only remove drunken assholes from the premises, it would have the added positive effect of removing plain old every day assholes. Where exactly is the drawback?
And frankly, I'm surprised that greed-heads like Godfrey et al would be so quick to give their $10 beers the heave-ho with this much damn common sense staring them in the face. It's almost as if these kids weren't their booze in the stadium at all. Well, that and I guess it comes off a lot better in a soundbyte to just wag your finger and denounce this awful alcohol-fueled behaviour while you nervously hope nobody realizes that the fuckface who once published the Toronto Sun is insultingly laughable as a moral compass.
Anyway, while I do completely acknowledge that there's a problem here, I would like to wholeheartedly encourage Rogers and the Jays not to take the bullshit easy route and ruin a good thing for the 99% of people who can handle booze like adults (or in some instances, champions), just because they're too afraid to actually police people instead of a tasty, relatively-innocent beverage.
Oh, and I'm sure it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, that anyone caught fighting in the stands ought to be given an immediate, lifetime ban from the stadium-- and it wouldn't hurt to have all the city's teams get together and ban these shits from the ACC and BMO, too. Hey, if it's good enough to stop bar fights in Peterborough...
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32 comments:
I don't think that it's a big deal because it's only 3 more games this season, but personally I'd do both. I am one of the poor saps in the 500s but I'll live with no beer for those 3 games if it means fewer idiots ruining it for everyone.
And give the security people more leeway too, allow them to hand out lifetime bans, hell give them free reign with nightsticks and teargas. But how do you draw the line between slightly rowdy fans who are just enjoying the game and cheering loudly and fans who are acting inappropriately?
Warnings?
I love the last word there
Peterborough
Gold!
I think even with warnings you'll find a lot of upset fans. The problem is that whenever you make the decisions a judgment call of the security you open yourself to accusations of discrimination.
Tightening security can go too far, on the one hand you have a very family-friendly park, but on the other hand you have a large part of your current audience (a part I am not hugely fond of but a part who nonetheless pays for their tickets) who may feel oppressed and thus less inclined to return. To many (idiot) fans being loud is half the fun, and you can't take out the cheering or the catcalls.
On the other hand a flat no-alcohol policy allows you to avoid some potential P.R. disasters and is a lot easier to implement (if potentially more costly longterm).
The problem is that it is easy . . . but not the right course.
Decision makers often seem more keen on saving their own asses; and so the majority gets burned.
Make the hard proper choice for once. Spend some money and keep beer out of the shitheads' gullets while allowing others to enjoy it.
A couple things to take note of here:
First, the Jays won't ever get rid of selling beer at the stadium, they may limit one per person per purchase, but no further then that. There is too much money to be lost here. Thinking that a beer drinker is going to switch to water and buy just as much is laughable.
Second, there really isn't a problem with the conduct of the fan. Consider last night's game where the recorded attendance was around 16000. I bet there wasn't even so much as a chirp from one person to another, thus, is the problem with the people or the security not able to handle the numbers.
Third, and finally. I blame JP Riccardi. Mostly, because he always gets blamed for things, but secondary to that, is the fact that the Jays have essentially put together the same Opening Day roster on back to back seasons for the first time in a long time. In addition to this, there are a lot of fan favorites within the 25 man roster. I can't imagine what the scene would have been like had JMac been playing.
Oh, and one final comment. Could you imagine what fans would be like if this guy or this guy were still kicking around?!?
I think the no beer thing is to eliminate the idea that the 500s are a party atmosphere.
As Dustin Godfrey was saying you guys drink to enhance viewing the game, these people are drinking to get wasted and party (it just so happens that it's at a baseball game).
By elminating beer sales, the type of pepole coming just to party will go elsewhere.
Well said Brandon. For the most part, this is a flash in the pan. They're stopping selling beer in one particular section on one particular night and (probably) for a limited time. It's Rogers, the same deuchebags charging you a $3.95 "access" fee for your cell phone when you already pay $50 for your plan.
If they stop selling beer, the already anemic fan-base will dwindle. I know, for myself, I'd be much less inclined to go to a game with a couple of buddies after work and sit outside (relatively speaking) crushing a few brews.
Still though, Godfrey's position is laughable. The same guy busting jokes about streakers all of a sudden is captain morality because ESPN picked up the story? Go buy some more bling and wax your chest hair you dumb fuck.
Besides, what would Zaun and Stairsey do between innings if they couldn't suck a quick one down?
when the hell will Eckstein leading off end. His weak ass grounders are pathetic.
Maybe when he stops winning World Series as a lead-off man.
And who would you like leading off instead?
marcum is fucking FILTHY.
Where's the small ball? Reed Johnson would totally look great in LF and slotted in the leadoff spot. Hehe.
Marco!
Scutaro!
gay
"Besides, what would Zaun and Stairsey do between innings if they couldn't suck a quick one down?"
He's number 24 for a reason....
On tonight's game... there is more then one Nicorette girl, which is disconcerting.
The 13 year old next to me had a sweet old school mesh back hat, which his grandpa gave him; the generational bridge brought a tear to my eye. Mind you, I was 8 beers in...
Zaun has gotta lay off the booze on the games he's not starting; he's whipping bats like he's in the 500 level on a toonie Tuesday (zing!).
I love the PMOD, cheapy base hit which he immediately looks to stretch into a double. Stolen base and you know on that Zaun hit he was looking home. Then (as I type) he teases Hannihan to the point where the kid almost messes up at 3B.
I guess Zaun needed the steroids to help hold onto the bat.
And did Jamie Campbell just call Kurt Suzuki's ass his 'kisser'?
Yeah but if people get banned from the ACC and BMO just like that then TFC will never get any good hooligans...
He just saved the game by not Scutaroing a throw to home with one out.
League looks really shaky.
Fuck, just as I went to hit submit league allowed two runs.
"Scutaroing a throw" - well done anon. Have I mentioned how much I hate watching A's games?
Holy fuck, what's the point of warming up a lefty if you're not gonna bring him in to face Travis Fuck. FUCK! Fuck you Gibbons.
Yes you have and I wholeheartedly fucking agree. The A's are a crime against the world.The are the Government office of ballteams.
You guys are professional drinkers. It's a rare breed, the professional drinker. It takes years of vomiting on oneself, mouthing off to your buddy's shitty girlfriend, and apologizing to your own girlfriend the next day to reach this pinnacle. It's like the Buddha level of drinking. Sadly, there are many who think they're professional drinkers and they're not. A professional drinker is like the guy who can beat the original Super Mario Brothers by completing all 8 levels. The level 500 wannabe professionals are the motherfuckers who used warp zones.
I assume you mean Mario 3. Fuck that plant level. It's annoying. I think my saturday morning now is going to be me beating mario 3 straight through. It's been a year.
My being a professional sudsmaster is not like some gay vidjya game. Maybe Parkes n' Stoeten can relate, but I doubt it.
Ol' C
This blog gets more and more like an AA meeting every day. God how I love it.
The AL West is like the girl you've wanted throughout high school, only to see her end up with Bud, the gas station attendant/former High School QB.
I wonder what our accumulated record is against those teams in the last 8 years.
Stoeten, I can guarantee you that implementing something like a lifetime ban for Dome patrons would be absolutely unworkable and unenforcable, unless there is some sort of secret face-recognition software system installed there we don't know about.
Stoeten, I can guarantee you that implementing something like a lifetime ban for Dome patrons would be absolutely unworkable and unenforcable, unless there is some sort of secret face-recognition software system installed there we don't know about.
And who would you like leading off instead?
Shannon Stewart!!
He won't play everyday but he should lead off in the games that he does play.
I thought the Jays brought him here because of his solid avg, great OBP and speed.
His power isn't what it used to be but it's a lot better than Ecksteins.
What more could you want out of a leadoff hitter??? He's like a Devo-lite!
They kicked out 100 people on Tuesday, which was pretty much enough to keep the whole staff busy.
They need to start replacing ushers with security guards. Have one at the top of each section.
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