Random Blue Bird Droppings
I was all excited to lead off today's recap with a little mise en scene from the Queen East trolley at 12:30 a.m. on a Wednesday night, but unfortunately I didn't have a single run in with a mayoral candidate. Anything less than that would be an Andy Griffith to Stoeten's Raymond Burr of a TTC and Muslim cabby stories.
The Blame Game
When I was a kid, I fucking loved Apple Jacks. I loved the fuck out of that cereal.
One day, when I was like eight or nine, there was a one hour window of time when I got home from school before my mom got home from work. Being the moderate little fella I was, I ate as many bowls of Apple Jacks as I could in that one hour span. I must've eaten my body weight in the shitty sugar cereal and it's sweet milk aftermath.
Unfortunately, just as my mom got home, I vomited up the barely digested breakfast cereal, and I never ate Apple Jacks again. Now, even the mention of Apple Jacks is enough to make me feel queasy.
Don't be a fucking artarded idiot who has never watched a single game of baseball. You can't blame the Apple Jacks for being irresistably delicious. You can't blame eight year old me for being a glutton for tastiness. You can't even blame my mom's lack of supervision. The vomit is a result of unforseen circumstances.
Yeah, it would've been great if I could've exhibited a little bit of self-control, but it's unreasonable to expect that from an eight year old under those circumstances. Just like it's unreasonable to expect A.J. Burnett to have been lights out last night or John Gibbons to have managed the bullpen like it was going to be a fourteen inning game.
Stoeten Has The Curiosity Of A CityNews Online Reporter
Yesterday, Stoeten mentioned his dismay over the retractable roof of Rogers Centre not being open for last night's game. Apparently, he wasn't the only one wondering what it takes to dilate the giant 'giner.
According to CityNews reporter and lover of literary erotcia Aaron Miller, it takes a lot of "back and forth, folding and unfolding into and out of one another" for the different parts of the dome to open up and let the sunshine in. Fascinating.
We're Number 22 With A Cable Bill
Forbes Magazine has put a special report together on America's national pastime, and Ted Rogers will be happy to learn that the overall value of the Blue Jays continues it's ascent since Rogers took over ownership in 2000. However, the Jays rank 22 out of 30, and are one of only three teams that operate at a loss.
Take that with a grain of The Salt Channel though, because as Forbes points out, Rogers "uses its ownership of the Blue Jays and Rogers Centre to sell and cross-promote its nonbaseball businesses."
The team's major coporate sponsors are listed as General Motors, MasterCard, HSBC and Labatt Breweries of Canada. Strangely, Nicorette and the Nicorette Girl weren't mentioned.
Free Baseball Sorta Sucks
As much as I make fun of Snappy The Turtle (Jeff Blair) for loving Roy Halladay starts because it ensures he gets home at a decent hour, I was seriously considering calling it a night at the end of each inning after the ninth. By the twelfth I was just hoping that someone would end it, anyone.
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51 comments:
I blame you.
Did you pay 55 mil for your Apple Jacks?
Absolutely nothing to do with anything.
How about:
Apple Jacks. Sugary and good in small doses but no nutritional value, and you can't use them as the foundation of your diet.
The money means something. It's a part of the team's budget being wasted on someone you can't trust to pitch one inning without allowing a run.
Most of the Blue Jays losses would probably be eaten if they sold the TV and radio rights to someone else instead of giving them to their own stations (I would imagine for almost nothing). Also, the amount of Rogers advertising at the Rogers Centre (naming rights another passed cash cow) that could be sold to someone else probably covers the rest of any losses.
A.J. Burnett is a starter. Starters are not expected to warm up in 20 minutes and then throw all their best stuff out over 20 pitches. It is a lot to ask of a guy to come in when he's not supposed to and do something that is not a part of his job, no matter how much he makes. Starting and relieving require a different mentality and a different approach.
isn't that exactly what parks is saying?
The stuff about Rogers.
Anonymous, that's ridiculous. People seriously expect a starter to come out for the 14th and start blowing people away? And dude, the money is hardly being wasted. It's less than Carlos fucking Silva makes. When he opts out, his next contract will be way bigger.
Ripping off a Wilner point (as usual) but he's getting paid so much because of his tenure in the league. The money doesn't make him a better pitcher. And what if they hadn't spent the money? So they keep Ted Lilly? They throw a ridiculous contract at Gil Meche instead? They use it elsewhere or pocket it and it's David Purcey in the rotation, or Josh Towers!? How are those better options?
And how quickly everyone forgets how he absolutely killed the Yankees in the second game of the year. Or how he carried the team in Doc's absence last season. It's astonishing to me how life and death every single game seems to be for a lot of people. Get a grip!
Wouldn't you rather have Gil Meche than A.J. Burnett?
i can sympathize with the distress over free baseball. last year i had the pleasure of sitting in Milwaukee's brewer's park for 14 innings of baseball in what started out as Tom Glavine trying to get his 300th win. Once you stop serving beer at Miller park in the 7th inning, and its july, and you're on the 2nd deck so there is no air flow at all, national league games between the brewers and the mets get a little dull....i digress, they did have a second sausage race which was quite lovely.
(In full retreat mode) I was alluding more to starts #2 and #3 than I was to last night. I think it's fair to ask A.J. to not get owned at home by the AAA team known as the A's after handcuffing the Yankees on the road. Just some consistancy is all I want. I know the guy's got the tools, I'm just trying to put my finger on why he hasn't taken that next step. I think in my original post I wondered if this see-saw was the best we can expect from him. There's been all this talk of him being expected to get his shit straight and win 20 games, but maybe that's not fair. What if he stays healthy all year and goes 12 - 14 instead of 10 - 8? If you throw the health excuse out the window, what do you have? It looks to me like you have a pitcher with great stuff that maxes out at mediocre results. I only say that because after the NYY game, you have to assume he's healthy. So why the struggles (last night not included.) It would just be nice to be able to expect a good start 3 out of 4 times out with him. I don't think that's too much to ask. I know I'm all over the place with this, but A.J. is a frustrating topic. I really want to like him (I defend him to my wife all the time) but throw me a freakin' bone A.J.!
Meche is 1-2 with a 6.08 ERA this year in 4 starts, don't forget.
I might take Meche, but if I did, it would be by a very slim margin. Nowhere near the difference between them to seriously pine for Gil Meche, in my book.
re: AJ, I'm with stoetsy here (nails!), so to summarize, fuck you!
John Gibbons has the forsight of an 8-year-old. Yes, I agree with that.
Good point!
And you have the hindsight of God.
You're joking though, right? Gibbons was supposed to see the game going 14 innings? That's just such an insane expectation.
Way to go anonymous, you really nailed that one outta the park. It's almost like you took what I said and twisted it to make your point. Hmm, I wonder if you do that with anything else.
On to Burnett: I just don't know. I don't think it's ridiculous to discuss his salary when measuring his success/failure. Like anonymous said earlier, it's a part of the budget, and he is there in place of another player(s). Not even taking into account his last couple of starts, do you consider Burnett's time in Toronto a success? Will the Jays make any attempt to bring him back next year?
Frankly, I don't know and I doubt it. He's been absoutely fantastic at times, but "reliability" has to count for something. And you never know which A.J. is going to come out. I totally understand the frustration.
Yo fuckfaces. Dome is open tonight, just got off the phone with the people over there.
I'll be the guy not doing the wave, I assume you'll be the same so I'll keep my eyes peeled.
Can we PLEASE get a pic of this Nicorette girl? The suspense is killing me.
By the way, Cinnamon Toast Crunch has gotta be the best cereal out there. Followed by Honey Bunches of Oats (HBO), Lucky Charms, Weetabix, Rice Krispies Treats: The Cereal, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Mini Wheats in random order. Yea, I this stuff seriously.
I dont know why everyone is up in arms about Burnett.
True his curveball has been inconsistent - the reason why the Oakland AAAs knocked him around in game 2 - but he also didn't have a fingernail during spring training and couldn't work on the pitch.
I'm undecided on whether AJs stint in Toronto was a success or not...but I'm definitely not disappointed the Jays signed him to the contract they did.
For the fuckheads saying they aren't getting their moneys worth out of AJ. You might as well jump off the Jays bandwagon now. Hill and Rios just signed long term deals under market value - so expect them to play like shit until their contracts are up. Riccardi should have paid them more so that they played better when they were under contract.
Finally the Jays won't resign Burnett. I'd be happy to see him back here but team budget restrictions + team needs dictate that he won't be back. I forsee the Jays moving McGowan/Marcum into their 2/3 pitching roles and spending the available money to address other needs. Plus I dont think Uncle Teddy will open his pockets enough to accomodate the $15M/yr (just a guess) Burnett should command.
Just as well - I couldnt stand listening to some of these anonymous boneheads complaining about how he wasn't pitching up to his $15M price tag.
Do you got a fuck'n problems with Fruit Loops buddy?
Anonymous, HOW DARE YOU FORGET FRUIT LOOPS
The skydome website lets you know if the dome is open or closed.
I dont know if my sarcasm about Hill + Rios got my point across.
Don't criticize Burnett based on how much he gets paid. You can only criticize management based on whether they get better or worse than market value for the player. Players don't play harder (or less hard) based on how much they earn.
I'm done ranting...thats a fucklong comment I wrote up there.
I don't know Jay. I think you can compare a player's performance to the expectations of their contract. I'm not going to criticize him for signing the contract, but like someone said before, he's milking part of the overall budget from the Jays. There are definitely higher expectations on a player who has a higher salary, and I don't think that's outrageous from a fan perspective.
See the DJF facebook page for a poor-angle shot of the Nicorette girl.
The Skydome is open tonight Karen, and so is the cable box.
Parkes - I'm going to continue to disagree...
I think you can definitely criticize him if he's not playing up to his potential - which has been a complaint against him his whole career.
I'm just trying to make that point that salary really shouldn't come into the discussion at all.
If the Jays management thought that Sidney Ponson was a $10M pitcher (a BIG FAT stretch to prove my point) and signed him to the contract - it doesn't increase his potential as a pitcher. In this case it's not fair to say that Ponson is a bag of shit because he's not living up to his contract. The truth is he's a bag of shit - who didn't deserve the contract in the first place and is playing up to his $1M potential. Criticize the contract not the player based on what they got.
If you think AJ's contract was fair, that he truly is an $11M pitcher and isn't playing like one - then thats fine. But as fans we should be able to evaluate both the athletic and business side of the sport. In my opinion - we shouldn't be confusing the two.
Personally - I think the Jays got a decent deal on AJs salary. I think on the whole he's also lived up to his potential. I knew they were signing an injury prone pitcher who had control consistency issues. He's had stretches where he was dominant and stretches where he's been hurt and looked lost.
But all of this criticism on how he's pitched recently shouldn't have anything to do with his salary. It's a separate argument.
Hmmm, Nicorette girl doesn't look all that great in that pic but I'll take everyone's word for it.
Wolfe to the 15-day DL, Purcey called up and may cover AJ's start friday.
Yup. Wells back to the Cubs.
Those aren't nicorette girl. That's some ESPN bimbo, that annoying twit Jill Kelly and the eminently mediocre Hazel Mae.
I used to be a right handed starter in high school and didn't get paid shit!
The best game I ever had was when I was shitting my pants because I thought I knocked up my 10th grade girlfriend. 2 hit SHO. After the game she told me she was flowin and I fucked her anyway because I was so fuckin relieved.
I guess I should just start leaving it in all the ladies for shits and laughs.
The Oakland AAAs took two of three from the Indians twice sandwiching our series with them, and the tribe didn't have two Accardo blowups, or even one Borowski blowup.
The DJF Hero (Frank Thomas) just had another STELLAR showing.
He really made some good, hard, solid contact on that one! I mean.. that's what really matters, right?
Dude, your sarcasm just implied that contact does not, in fact, matter. So basically, what you said made no sense.
Frank is 3 for 3... in having shitty appearances.
How you gonna find an excuse for this one DJF?
SN just showed a stat titled "Dysfunctional Offence", in which the Jays ranked good-average in every category except for HRs. Uh...keep searching for that controversy.
And holy shit, the incredible detective work of some anonymous pussy has sleuthed out that Frank Thomas is having a slow start to the season! It's, like, crazy, like, that has never happened before!! Except for pretty much every year, you frigging tool.
I love how every bad game the douchefag can do that, but then once Thomas hit a home run, he'll shut the fuck up.
I've resorted to watching the bleeped-out version of Major League on Peachtree TV. At least that way, I know who wins tonight!
Why must Peachtree defile the classics? Almost unwatchable.
Wilner is fucking hilarious. "Why would you keep Molina? He SUCKS!" -MW
Anonymous, it's two weeks, one of which was great. You seriously can't be serious. It is EXTREMELY pointless to be arguing about this two weeks into the season.
Yes, Frank had a terrible night. But that means exactly fuck all. Look at his last two seasons. Look at the way he's hit the ball on some of his outs. Look at... I don't know, a fucking baseball game.
I completely understand your frustration, but you're really going to let it cloud your judgment this badly? It's two weeks, dude.
Way to really nail us on this one.
I think people have to remember that it's still very early in the season to exactly know what we're getting from players, individually.
As a whole you can see the picture a bit better. This team has lost a lot of close games, still has good pitching, and just a tiny bit inadequate hitting. Also the back of the bullpen and ability to close games looks like a candidate to be a problem this year.
That being said, AJ and Frank will probably shit it up for another two weeks (who really knows?), and then go on fire for 2 months. With AJ, it wasn't clear if his nail is entirely back and he has a fake one - so this could be affecting his curveball. But, I personally have soured on Burnett. I honestly can't wait until he walks away next year. He's on the wrong side of 30 - don't wait for him to take the next step because its just not coming. He is what he is: a guy with good stuff, who is inconsistent, seems to lose focus and tries to just overpower the hitter, and will be stellar for 2 weeks and then shitty the next. He might help the team this year, but he's not a difference maker. Let some other team try their luck.
Final season ERA - 4.08, 180 innings.
Also, they need to shake up the offense a bit. A) can't wait till Rolen gets back.
B) maybe move big frank down in the order.
Also, I'd hate to say it, but the Jays are getting enough hits and walks. They are lacking power. Cough barry bonds pennant cough.
See I consider myself a Jays fan, yet I can still look at things to have the following opinion.
$10 million is too much to pay for an old man who is going to be terrible for three months, and above-average for three.
$11 million is too much to pay for a career .500 pitcher who is about as reliable as (or less reliable than) the 22-year-old kid who is only a few years removed from being a bat boy for the Tampa Bay FuckRays.
I know it is early in the season. But paying that much money for professional athletes to mail it in for even a portion of a season is complete bullshit.
How about we cure aids instead of paying Big Frank to stand up there and flail at a fastball?
Dude, your sarcasm just implied that contact does not, in fact, matter. So basically, what you said made no sense.
That's the point I'm trying to make. Don't critcize the player's ability to perform because of the contract he got. The contract doesn't matter.
Criticize a player based on tools, potential and how he comparatively performs.
I think I got off on a tangent trying to argue that you can still criticize management for a bad contract rather than pushing my original point.
I think after a winter season of being force fed stories about how $5M no-trade defencemen arent playing up to their contract I'm a little testy whenever I hear this argument and begin to ramble.
Jay, that comment was in reference to the one directly above mine. I guess I should have made that more clear.
I agree with what you're saying. In baseball contracts tend to be more about tenure than ability. If you can stick around through your team-controlled years and be an above average player when you become a free agent, you're going to get paid a shitload.
Does anybody remember how fucking wicked Jesse Carlson was in that game?
Dude pitched his ass off and deserves at least a comment (or a mention in a post) for his stellar three innings.
Those three K's in the 10th with the bases loaded are likely the most pumped I've been during a game in April in my entire life!
Kid probably won't be here long, but he's sure gonna make the club think about sending him back.
Sorry Manute - I didnt realize that you were telling that anonymous guy to go fuck himself.
For the 2nd anonymous complaining about AJ and Frank mailing it in. Go fuck yourself too if you seriously think these guys are mailing it in.
Thomas was the teams 2nd best hitter last year (Rios) and AJ was arguably the 2nd best SP. What more do you want?
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