Thomas Offered Contract

His nameplate has yet to be removed from the Blue Jays locker room, but Frank Thomas has already been offered a contract to play professional baseball elsewhere this season.

The Joliet Jackhammers, apparently not just a euphemism for a particularly exerting sexual maneuver, have offered the recently released Big Hurt a deal to play for their Nothern League team, located near Chicago.

In addition to the $8 million he's set to receive from the Jays for the rest of the year, Thomas would receive upwards of $2,000 a month, plus an apartment in Joliet and his very own hotel room on away trips if he agrees to play ball for the Jackhammers.

This would be a whole lot more humourous if the Washington Wild Things didn't pull a similar publicity stunt during the offseason with Barry Bonds.

Speaking of whom, am I the only one who wonders if Bonds was in cahoots with Roger Clemens' lawyers and PR advisors. Since his ill advised denials, Clemens' villainy has risen high enough to make Bonds seem like the kind of guy you'd want to date your sister . . . or come to your favourite team and replace the DH that they just released.