Did Someone Mench-ion Another Player?
When I'm not copy editing headlines for The Toronto Sun, I'm listening to FAN 590 sports updates, which just confirmed that in addition to Brad Wilkerson signing with the Blue Jays, J.P. Ricciardi traded the nickels in the ashtray of his SUV to the Texas Rangers for left handed pitching basher Kevin Mench.
In order to make room for the new recruits, Sergio Santos and Gustavo Chacin received some Death From Above, and are now available to any team who wants them. Any team. Do unto them what you will. No, seriously. Whatever you want.
Kevin Mench is believed to have the largest head in baseball (ed. hmm, large head and sleeveless shirts?), a size eight for those who have any idea what that means. He better soak it up though, because there will be a new Chief in town just as soon as Dmitri Young's son, pictured and nicknamed Damage, is offered his first MLB contract.
According to Wikipedia, Mench is best friends with Keith David, who has been a character actor in so many films, he's even appeared in some of my family's home movies as our token black friend.
I'm slow to call anyone a douche bag based solely on their appearance, after learning that even people who look like Nick Swisher can be okay some of the time, but Kevin Mench's eagle tattoo is definitely challenging my resolve.
According to me, there are much better photos of Kevin Mench than Brad Wilkerson available online.
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36 comments:
If only for the filthy things that he made Jennifer Connelly do in Requiem for a Dream, Keith David is our favorite actor of all time.
Yeah! First comment, bitches!
Mench looks menacing in this picture,but will he be at the plate.K David is a cool guy who does tons of voiceover work,strange that they are buds.
Poor Chacin ,last year as a number three and now DFA...how sad.Some desparate team will have a go at him.It would be funny to see him in a Yankees uniform,they need anything they can get.
Mench looks menacing in this picture,but will he be at the plate.K David is a cool guy who does tons of voiceover work,strange that they are buds.
Poor Chacin ,last year as a number three and now DFA...how sad.Some desparate team will have a go at him.It would be funny to see him in a Yankees uniform,they need anything they can get.
I am sooo sad.
:(
Mench sounds like a dirty sexual act involving poop.
"My bitch wouldn't cup my balls last night so I dropped a Mench on her forehead."
Mench-ion? I see what you did there.
I sure hope you weren't dissing Keith Motherfucking David. That would be off the lame-o scale.
Does anybody else think Mench looks like Chunk from the Goonies in that picture?
Mench's career against LHP: .305/.361/.563, which makes for an OPS of .924. 132 OPS+.
Yeah. I'll take that. Even with a little roid withdrawal mixed in.
Mench needs to stop drinking all that nerve tonic.
Sorry not Chunk, Sloth
Link in name
I'm a fan of Keith David calling Roddy Piper a dirty motherfucker in They Live and then dropping knees into some white trash cock.
I think the experience that film clip may be comparable to the Wilkerson-era.
ricciardi's pulling his throw shit at the wall routine again . . . reminiscent of the pitching situation to start last year.
We need Lind to prove something or fuck right off.
Mench is in uniform in Cleveland. That was pretty quick.
Nah, look at those career numbers against LHP! Him and Stairs make for a very solid DH platoon.
Afterglow... but how about the homage to that fight on South Park...
More fuckin white guys! Sweet! We've got to lead the league in white players
Easy there Baker.
Yeah... the Jays have a whole lot of white guys...
You know what's funny? I bet a lot of the people who think the Jays are racist also think that they should have kept Reed over Shannon, due to Reed's large amounts of "grit", "heart" and other such white qualities.
Grit always wins out over athleticism. If not, we all jump in.
I think Western society would be a better place with the odd televised cripple fight with an appearance by Keith's good old friend: the Ass-to-Ass Guy.
Looks like Mench's power stats have declined since guys were openly snorting roids in the clubhouse. Jury is out on his signing though. I'll take him over Wilkerson for sure. "Mashers" and "bashers," as everyone keeps repeating, are generally not released (Frank had salary issues) into the wild for nothing. Before Les Expos were stolen Wilk was pretty good. Now not so much.
And the jays are not racist for fuck sakes. Honestly, it is not even worth engaging it is so ridiculous. Players come and go. Well, they've never had a japanese, korean, or taiwanese player so maybe it is because think asians can't see well enough with slanty eyes. Seriously folks, I really don't think professional sports teams in NA give a shit. They want to win and make money. That is the bottom line. This is not to say there is no racism in sports or anywhere else. I bet a lot of the owners don't want their daughters dating some of their darker employees (maybe not) but they sure as hell don't care what color the dude hitting home runs is. So those who think the Jays org. is racist should just fuck off.
I forgot about Ohka but whatever, my point is the same.
God, now Mench is just going to CLOG UP THE BASES. For fuck's sake, strike out and keep the pipes clean!
Mench's nickname in Texas was Shrek. His 'eagle' tatoo is a Philadelphia Eagle. He's a weird looking dude. Good hitter though.
Holy crap, Mench stole base?!?!
Holy crap I make a lot of typos in these comments!
well once again our pitcher has his good shit, and once again i think we are gonna lose
Nobody notice *where* Mench killed lefties? i.e. Arlington and Coors field?
Anyone take a gander at his home/away splits?
Cool - the US Border Patrol is NOW HIRING! Keep those shitty-job-stealing Mexicans out of our country!!!
Can't say that I did, Tyler. However... I noticed that his arms look a lot fucking smaller than in that picture. But I'm sure JP wouldn't sell his soul for Kevin Mench.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he fuckin cracked Roy's shin bone! all he is good for is breaking pitchers legs with his infield line drive specialty.
Totally agree with anon. I hate Mench. He owes Halladay a second Cy Young. At the time Fathead got Elder Roy injured, our favourite Mormon was 12-4 in 19 starts with a 2.41 ERA. Most impressive was his two-hitter in Minnesota and that complete game he threw on a Tuesday night against the Royals at home that lasted like two hours. Fuck, I wish I didn't waste brainspace on remembering shit like this but I do....
Tyler, I heard you on Wilner making that same point. Small world.
That's a nice dress the kid has on.
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