Surf's Up

Back by popular demand is guest columnist Brandon League.

Brandon has written for Drunk Jays Fans for the last two seasons. Today, he joins us to share his thoughts on life on the road and playing in Syracuse.

Dear Blog Readers,

Did you know that like every city has it's own moon? It's pretty rad.

I've like been to many cities this year, and like each time I arrive there's like a moon already in that city. Sometimes the moon is like a crazy shape, other times it looks like God's fingernail.

I'm glad I'm a baseball player and not like a moon salesman. Geez, that would be a hard job because like there are already so many moons. I've even heard about like a city in Florida called Jupiter that has like 63 moons. I think that's crazy.

It's also like kind of mean because there are probably lots of like cities in Africa, like Kenya and Somalia, that don't even have one moon. I think the people of Jupiter should like share some of their moons.

I betcha Transylvania always needs new moons because it's like always night there. That's why like vampires and werewolves live there. I once knew a guy named Simon and he like tried to get rid of all of the monsters in Transylvania, but he like died on the third level.

Sometimes I feel like I die when I'm pitching and there aren't even little hearts around to help me out. I even checked under the Ross bag. When I like told that to Uncle John, he said I needed help and then he sent me to Syracuse.

My friend A.J. said Syracuse is a shit hole, but that's crazy because I've seen shit holes and they like look totally different from a city. Maybe A.J. like knows a dancer named Syracuse. One time I went to like see some dancers in New York, and I saw Dallas's shit hole.

Sometimes I miss Toronto because you get like free Power Bars there and Gatorade too. Also, Tracy Thorpe always has bad gas. I don't think he should like eat so much food from the Mongoloid Grill. It probably like makes his shit hole sick.