Where The Hits Flow Like Wine
It had been so long since a Toronto Blue Jay hit a home run that immediately following Matt Stairs' solo shot in the sixth I was momentarily dazed, unsure of the rules that pertain to a ball being hit over the fence. It turns out it counts as a score and gives fans boners bigger than cucumbers. Or, in my case, large and phallic shaped butternut squash.
The dinger was one of five runs the Jays scored against the Twins, en route to their 5-3 victory. I can't remember a bigger offensive explosion since a giant group hug in grade ten drama class pushed me up against Brooke McLinden and held me there for longer than either of us would've liked.
Not to be a shit in anyone's cut, but the Jays still left eight runners on base, including six in scoring position.
The Good
Lyle Overbay is a double machine once again. The Clone Prince knocked a two bagger in the sixth to bring home the Jays first run of the game.
Aaron Hill broke out of his slump and went 2 for 4 last night, knocking in a run and taking a walk.
The Bad
Alex Rios continued his slide down shit mountain, going 0 for 4 last night, and leaving two on base.
The Ugly
Armando Benitez made his first pitch as a Blue Jay memorable, by letting Jason Kubel knock it seemingly further than any ball has ever been knocked. Benitez was just grateful to be a part of a Major League play.
Posts
28 comments:
That explosion is offensive!
All right, I'll say it: PLAYOFFS!!
Playoffs!
If you're calling Overbay the clone prince because he creates doubles that would make you a nerd.
I honsetly thought Benitez was going to completly shit the bad after that first pitch HR but he kept his composure...good on him...
*coughsBatistacoughs*
I think we need to make "Playoffs!" signs as a rally cry for the Jays. Sorta like the Angels' rally monkey.
Playoffs! is fucking lame.
Held you longer than either of you would have liked? The closet door is opening...
Not only did Rios go 0 for 4, but were they not all strikeouts? Maybe he hasn't been laid lately or something.
You know what else is lame? Posting anonymous comments and not understanding sarcasm.
Slide Down Shit Mountain should be a ride at Disney Land.
FWI: Rios struck out only 3 times last night. He was intentionally walked once.
I'm at the point in my fantasy league where I'm scared to bench him because I know he's going to break out. But 40K in 39 games is as the french say, terrible.
I miss the Gibbers & Griffins feature. Please bring it back!
Also, are we ever gonna see another Friday afternoon Linkin Park post? That shit was gold!
Also, the league slugging percentage is less than .400 now.
And Shawn Marcum is 3rd in strikeouts, 2nd in WHIP, 1st in Hits allowed per nine, 3rd in ERA, and 6th in innings.
MARCUM FOR CY YOUNG!
Pretty sure that's Cliff Lee's to lose at this point. It's bullshit, but those wins always count for something in the voters' eyes.
Daner: I keep thinking of starting those up again. I actually started doing so in February, but then never seemed to get around to it, and here we are, already halfway through May. Yeah... I might have to bring those back...
ANybody know why Gibbons pulled Litsch when he did? Litsch was cruising.
Because you touch yourself at night, Anonymous.
If Cliff Lee's ERA is under 1.00 and he goes undefeated, then by all means, give him the Cy and the MVP. In fact, I'd love to see that. But it ain't gonna happen. The pitching has been lights out this year from more than a few teams. I'm just glad I'm able to observe and cheer for a few likely candidates on my team.
I can't wait for Lee to go up against the Rays. Thems a fastball hitting team. Lee throws about 85% fastballs.
Interestingly, i just heard this morning on ESPN that the homerun rate is on track to be over 1000 homeruns less across MLB than just 2 seasons ago. So the results of Cliff Lee etc., may be a combination of lights-out pitching and some sort of Mitchell report hangover. Or global warming. One of the two.
MLB dejuiced the ball?
Anon, I'll be posting about that in the next couple of hours.
Hey Stoeten, you know what's really lame? Being a thin skinned fat douche.
I was in a bar with Justin a couple weekends ago, and some awful shit came over the stereo. I almost vomited blood out of my ears, and then Justin was like, "Hey Parkes, awesome song, eh?" as though I knew what the fuck it was. I gave him a quizzical look and he explained that it was Linkin Park.
Wow, they're really shitty. Like even shittier than I imagined.
One time I accidentally walked in on an industry show put on by Default. They had free food and booze, so it was okay until they started to play . . . fuck, I'd still rather listen to Default than Linkin Park.
Hey Anonymous, he's not so much fat, as he is big boned . . . and come on, the lack of hair growth on top of his head is such an easier target. You're sort of remiss not to mentioned it.
Dude, that wasn't at a bar but on my front patio. I have all of Linkin Park's albums. Awesome.
I actually burst out laughing when Benitez threw that meatball. It was really the high point of my night. I am still a bit stunned just how much total CRSH there was in that swing. JESUS. It still might be going! And I still might be laughing!
Agreed. It was pretty hilarious. But then it also made me kinda depressed.
I hear the Jays have now overtaken Hillary in the Toronto Democratic Primary!
It's amazing what one game can do.
This lame joke brought to you by someone that is too tired.
Anon, thin skinned, really? This from the dickless coward who's been anonymously taking shots at me since I made fun of him on my blog? Normally I try not to respond to your comments because, y'know, you're a pussy with mental problems and everything, but you're seriously going to call me thin skinned? That hurts. I've been trying so hard to take it well, dude!
Other Anon, who I told I'd post about Gibbers pulling Litsch. Yeah, I wrote the whole fucking thing and then my computer crashed and it's gone. I tried four times to start to write it again, but it was just never good enough.
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