Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!!?!!???
From Jamie Campbell's latest piece for Sportsnet:
Even the Blue Jays, a team that once banked on the three-run homer, are stealing bases and dropping bunts to get men across (and, my, isn’t it fun to watch). Toronto’s leading home-run hitter (Matt Stairs) isn’t even playing every day, and their current centre-fielder (Alex Rios) has only three.
OK. Um... on one hand here I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable with shitting on Jamie Campbell all the time. I'm sure he's a nice enough, if incredibly square, guy and everything, and we've found out first hand how difficult it is not to sound like a tool when on the air. . . but. . . NOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Fucking goddamn no! No no no no! Isn't it fun to watch? Isn't it fun to watch?!? Isn't it fun to fucking watch??!??????!??!!!?
NOOOOOO!!!! NO, IT IS NOT FUN TO WATCH!!! Are you seriously shitting me?!? Watching Aaron Hill have to lay down bunts to push across a single run because the team left twenty-four runners on base and hit into thirteen double-plays?
Jesus motherfucking Christ, man.
UPDATE: Is Jamie Campbell capable of sarcasm? Is that what we're looking at? If so, how does that at all make sense in the context of this article? So many questions!
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53 rational and reasonable comments:
he should shut his "god damn daywalker mouth".
All hatred of gingers aside, i guess this means that Campbell is a masochist. Assuming he doesn't absolutely hate the jays like I hate all things from boston.
my o my, what a jim dandy of a post, my, was it fun to read, my, what a douche
actually, with the fucking pain that he puts me, and lots of others?, through listening to him; he is a sadomasochist
gosh-a-roo danimal, strong words...
In good news, in a bad sort of way, David Ortiz is out for a month and the news articles had neat words like 'ligament damage' and 'surgery' in it.
He makes far too much money to have more than token sympathy from me. He could be done for the year and that's just the gravy.
Um, I think there should be a hold on hatred of all gingers, because Doc and the the 7-1 kid are gingers too.
Offense and winning is way more fun than desperately pushing runs across. It's one of the reasons the AL rocks the socks off the NL.
I'm fairly confident that what I'm about to say is total bullshit, but I don't wish injury on anyone and would rather always go against the best possible lineup and may the best team win.
Bullshit, right?
my, Stoeten, that is some bull poo
Joanna, Roy's a ginger? I wouldn't call him a ginger. Even if he WAS a ginger I wouldn't call him one.
And hey, I don't mind a good tight game with runs being manufactured and no margin for error... just not necessarily for seventy games in a row.
Dan, have you been having some adult beverages?
i was going to continue my charade , but i will stop......unfortunately not, i am just a tool
Doc has red (reddish blond, which counts) hair, beard and freckles. Turns bright pink when enraged (for eg. when Rios tosses a fly ball into the right field stands at Fenway or when he reads Parkes' post about Mrs. Doc) and prob when drunk. Might have been a Viking in a past life.
Therefore a ginger. Through and through.
roy halladay is a machine with hair put on him. It's a trick. I've come to this realization after just watching Terminator. HE IS TERMINATOR
I agree with Joanna, Doc is all ging. And to continue in the blasphemous vein this comment has taken, I sort of get where J-Camp is coming from. Obviously it sucks large that second base has become a desert island for Blue Jays and everything, but... I like small ball. I like strategy, I like pitcher's duels, I like close games. I like crazy blowouts and 12-0 wins and everything, but I'll really be just as entertained with the base stealing and the bunting. I'm like 10x as likely to tear out my own hair afterwards, but still. It's fun, in a miserable sort of way.
I made this ginger thing a poll, but now I realize I should have added the option: "I'm a woman and my opinion doesn't matter".
Actually... I'm starting to think that you guys don't know what a ginger is...
http://watch.thecomedynetwork.ca/south-park/season-9/south-park-911-ginger-kids/
Doc isn't pale enough. He might just be white. We sometimes get red in the face.
I've listened to Campbell's Angelgasm a few times now, and I still can't figure out just what in the good name of fuck he was trying to accomplish with that bullshit.
I used to kinda sorta defend the guy a little, thinking he was getting slayed by being compared to the greatest of all time - Tom Cheek, Jerry & Alan, Dan Shulman, etc.
But what total douchebaggery there......"AND THE ANGELS HAVE COME BACK TO BEAT THE BLUE JAYS!!!!"
I mean, fuck right off with that. The guy was losing his voice he was so goddamn hysterical. I hope Rance stormed out of the booth in disgust.
Why don't you "small ball"/"manufacturing runs" douchebags and douchebaguettes (can't call me a sexist or xenophobic) realize that you can also "manufacture" runs with HRs and doubles and shit like that. Fuck off with that "small ball is strategy" garbage. What would you rather see...bunts and stealing or aggressive hitting and running. Both are strategic but the former is stupid and isn't always a good thing while the latter is sexay and ALWAYS a good thing.
/Rant
Doc transcends pesky human labels like ginger. Therefore, not a ginger.
Why are you surprised at the comments, Stoeten? Just a while back on the podcast you guys were convinced he was an LA A of A fan anyway. Doesn't his enjoyment of endless offensive struggles for the Jays make perfect sense in that context?
Dumbass.
Oh. Um... the thing about that is... ahh... I sort of get drunk and then say or write things that I don't ever remember. So... um... I maybe kind of vaguely remember that but, ah... not... uh... not really. Sorry.
Ever thought I was being sarcastic you dipshit?
Shit. Campbell got into the scotch tonight.
To momentarily stray away from the Campbell and Ginger bashing though...here is a delightful snippet from Griffin over at the Star.
"In the words of Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco: "If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear." The Jays are finding if they have reason to fear."
Sports Illustrated has already expressed interest in this writing talent.
Jamie Campbell is pretty terrible, but I fucking hated Rob Faulds with a passion. He has the most exaggerated cartoonish voice around, and looks like even more of a knob than Campbell.
That said, I really don't know who's worse. Campbell's voice is semi-tolerable until you actually listen to what he's saying. And I seem to recall one game this season where he actually pointed out Faulds in the crowd "enjoying the ball game with his family."
To end this disjointed nonsense I wish the FAN would sync up with TV.
I can't really comment on how artarded jamie campbell sounds during the game, as I listen to the radio call. What I can comment on is this: I like alan ashby, if only because he is a MASSIVE upgrade over Warren "can I biggie-size that for you" Sawkiw. But I am getting so sick of Ashby's fence-sitting. If you don't believe me, just listen the next time he offers his thoughts on ANYTHING. Sample, made-up quote to follow. "Well, I would think that Rios, probably, would rather not have hit into that double play, if he could possibly have helped it, in some way or the other, probably." He is so quick to offer a long-winded opinion on anything, but rarely actually says anything.
What do you DJF's think about his wishy-washiness?
Douchbaggettes sounds like a very hygienic bread you would enjoy with an Italian dish on a summer's eve.
Doc is not a ginger. He is a blond. The reddish tint you see is rust and corrosion seeping through his exoskeleton from his mechanical innards.
Also, Doc is not a ginger, he is definitely a Terminator, a T-3000, who can change the color of his hair at will, and can probably change the color of anybody else's hair if he wanted to.
oh man that'd be great, having jerry call the games...mmm. And as for those people defending the manufacturing runs crap. The jays are doing this because as of right now, they can't fucking slug a ball. Their slugging % is brutal, all their power numbers are essentially in the bottom third at best, even when looking at the last month (aka The Rape of May). The Jays were fucking 21st of the teams in SLG% at .394 and that's when our 'offence' was turning around. June was .360 and 27th; KC , Min and even fucking SAN FRAN was ahead of us.
Small ball is for teams that have weak/Erectile disfunctional offenses or when you're playing for ONE run, which we (very sadly) are. THe success rate of our fantastic small ballI'll look at now. Our stolen base success rate is 67% (fucking 28th overall and even worse % wise in May). Our ground ball per fly ball ratio is 1.33 and 8th in that. Our at bats between homeruns is 3rd worst (KC and Min are worse by a good bit). We can't even play exciting small ball efficiently.
The one good thing about this offence is that they fucking tire pitchers out, unfortunately just can't fucking capitalize. Hill is our worst regular for the pitches seen per plate appearance at ~3.44 as per a coupel days ago. The league average is 3.1 for reference, we have 2 near or in the top 10 in baseball (of those qualified). Rios and Overbay.
Small ball is fine, if you're good at it. We are not.
btw dock has redish tinge from the fucking blood of his opponents which he has made weep tears of blood. I take full credit for descovering his Terminator origins.
Jamie Campbell not only sucks at television . . . but he raped my friends 70 year old grandmother . . . I know, I watched.
Rance Mulletfix did the play by play "Well, er, uh, I think we're going to see an inverted taint lick here . .. well, looks like he dislodged the diaper instead. I'd come back with the same move again"
Yep. Too early in the morning for rape jokes. I get it.
Is it bad that I found beau's account of these events kindof hot?
Who did the colour ?
Holy fuckballs, Beau, that was out there.
Let me pre-emptively say to everyone who flames me for talking hockey to fuck off, because I know you watched the game too with no baseball on--that was one hell of a game last night.
If Marc-Andre Fleury played catcher for the Blue Jays, they'd never record another wild pitch.
If Marc-Andre Fleury had played 1st base for the Jays on Saturday night, he would have caught Tallet's lameass skank ball throw and the Jays might have won that game.
ortiz out for the season = boner = playoffs
No shame whatsoever in watching that game. That game was so tits. It didn't even remind me of the how much the Leafs fucking suck.
Fleury was fucking amazing. But SP, it completely reminded me of how much the Leafs suck, because I was actually watching good hockey for once.
I don't care if he can field but can Fleury hit?
Hey guys, Rich Griffin honest to God quoted Lupe Fiasco in today's column. Why not shit on him? I miss those days.
That he did!
In the words of Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco: "If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear." The Jays are finding if they have reason to fear.
One week it's Snoop Dogg, the next it's Lupe Fiasco. Griff is definitely gangsta.
It's definitely not sarcastic from Campbell, no way. I can hear him saying it snidely in my head.
But seriously, the "smallball isn't strategy" talk is a huge joke. Like I said, the fact that it's motivated by necessity and lack of power hitting sucks, but the style itself isn't the worst thing ever.
Also, so totally a ginger.
What's with the gingers' trying to claim Halladay as one of their own? He's no Ginger. You have Litsch and that's it.
Your ginger army could use a stud like Halladay, but unfortunately he's no ginger . . . fact.
The term "daywalker" exists for a reason.
There's definitely no sarcasm from Campbell there. Did you see his answer to one of the comments?
Campbell:
I'm with you on this one; it is incredibly frustrating to see a two-on, none-out situation go to waste late in a game. You hear it all the time: "so-and-so is an RBI guy, they're not paid to bunt." And I am constantly baffled when told some players simply don't know how to execute one, even though they always drop a few of them before batting practise. Obviously, the Jays' decision in the ninth was to go for two or more instead of settling for one, because they had Rios swing away. If Alex could do it all over again, I wonder if he'd try something different?
"If Alex could do it all over again, I wonder if he'd try something different?"
No shithead, Alex was happy with his DP.
I don't think there are any ginger mormons... also gingers aren't 6'6 and 2250 lbs (titanium endoskeleton)
-jp
Daywalker, huh? So then which of his parents is the ginge? I bet its his mom...total tempestuous redhead. That's why lil Roy had to throw his brussel sprouts out the window - if he left them on his plate, mom would fly off the handle and he'd get a good whoopin'.
Did Campbell seriously say "Touch 'em all, Maicer" after that game? I heard him get all super squealy and excited but wasn't paying attention otherwise. If that's an actual quote that's hilarious.
Sadly, no, that's just the spirit in which he said it.
I'm not a ginger! But this whole Doc-is-a-soulless-machine thing plays right into it.
Wow, it's like I'm TRYING to make everyone hate me...
You wanna make out?
She probably does Stoeten; though likely with someone that isn't a greasy cow shit...
p.s. i'm glad you're not a ginger. Now you and Doc have something in common.
I was unaware that Cartman had a whole speech about ginger kids. I was going by the ginger def in the UK, which was silly of me.
Doc has reddish blond hair. It's a fact. Sorry, but he does. But I guess he isn't a ginger if you are going by the Cartman definition. You guys are aware that Cartman is the fucking ignorant character on that show, right? And this is officially the stupidest conversation ever.
You do realise you're commenting on the Drunk Blue Jays Blog right? If you spell checked this thing, the word " cunt" appears more times than the words "Blue Jays".
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