Hey Look, it's a Douche Bag!
This is Cameron Hughes. According to what sounds like a made-up thing called Condé Nast Portfolio (found via With Leather and the Big Lead), his occupation is "superfan". I think I saw him on Off The Record like nine years ago or something. He earns six-figures by being a fucktard for hire. "Baseball teams like the Toronto Blue Jays and the Los Angeles Dodgers pay him an average of $2,000 a game to do his thing," which, according to Hughes, means, "I basically just play myself."
Frankly, though, that quote looks better the way With Leather paraphrased it:
"I just play myself -- you know, a high-priced cheering whore."
On one hand, I kind of admire the scam.
But on the other, I think I really want to punch this doofus in the balls. Or better yet, punch the balls of the geniuses at Rogers who resort to this kind of bullshit to liven up the stadium atmosphere they do their best to suffocate by bombarding fans with non-stop ads, contests and real live shouting assholes.
Anyway, if you ever catch him doing this godawful nonsense down at the Rogers Centre, definitely don't spit on him. That wouldn't be very nice. I'm certainly not going to encourage anyone to spit on him. I mean, you might find his shtick to be ridiculous, whorey crap that makes you question whether it's worth living in this age of morons we happen to inhabit, but spitting on him? That seems a little far, doesn't it? Certainly don't do it because I said so. Because I didn't. I would never encourage anyone to spit on this big fucking dickwad as soon as they saw him. At the Rogers Centre. Getting paid two-thousand-motherfucking-dollars to distract people from the game of baseball. Yeah... um... definitely don't spit on this guy.
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21 comments:
Think we can get him to start the wave at a really inopportune time? That shit never gets old.
I hate the wave...
http://angrytorontosportsfans.blogspot.com/
the last paragraph had me laughing it up here at work.
There's a hidden message somewhere in that last graph, but I can't quite figure it out ...
Wait... *don't* spit on him? This is all so confusing...
He'd probably cheer on you for spitting on him.
If Rogers hired him . . . and you got him to fight you by simply spitting on him, would they not be liable for any injuries you sustained?
This whole concept pisses me off, right to the core of my being.
I know! We've been giving it away for free!
^^ kind of like that girl in Banff I was talking about earlier
Man, acting like a real fan of both the Jays and Dodgers is one of the hardest acting jobs of all times. He only gets 2000 bucks a pop? He should get special hardship pay for the tough job of Jays' fanship.
Stoeten, I wish we were paid for every obscenity we accidentally blurted out in the presence of children.
Finally, someone's stepped up to challenge Ryan Greer as the biggest shithead at a Jays' game!
Wilner on Dunngate in yesterday's blog
MW: I have it on very good authority (unimpeachable corroborating witness) that J.P. was duped by a prank caller.
I have no idea what that means but I'll take his word for it.
Well, it's said that Anthopoulos and the head of security were also there. But... did they look at JP's phone?
These guys work for Rogers. Someone must have been able to figure this out.
im not sure what that means - "these guys work for rogers".
it also wouldnt surprise me in the least if jp didnt have a rogers cellphone and, instead, had a 617 cellphone with a US carrier, considering that he spends most of his time in the boston area.
of course, if jp really cared, he probably could just log on to his personal cell phone account and see the call log. it's there for me and it would take me about 30 seconds to find out.
but he prob doesnt care to find out. because it shouldnt make any difference. hes either lying (unlikely) or he simply realizes that someone successfully pulled a fast one on him and doesnt give two fucks to go any further in the matter (probably because hes trying to GM an MLB team). and the last thing he should want is to check the number, give it to a reporter and perpetuate the matter further.
finally, the blue jays and the rogers centre contributed about 2% of top-line revenues to rogers corp last year. the media division (basically TBJ/RC and the tv/radio statons) is the smallest of the three operating segments of rogers corp - by a wide margin (13% of total revenues with the weakest operating margins in the corporation). if im ted rogers and im running a $10 bln top-line business, the last thing im going to waste my employees time with is a crank phone call to a dude in the upper-middle management ranks of the smallest and lowest-profit areas of my business.
I don't know what you're getting at re: revenues-- did someone suggest that Uncle Ted was behind it? I just meant that people at a giant telecommunications company should be able to find the number pretty easily.
Re: The Jays'/JP's standing within the Rogers pyramid: sure, maybe the Jays are low-profit, but they're high profile-- so they're way higher up on the totem. When you're selling essentially the exact same thing as your competitors, a strong brand image is kinda important, and the Jays have way more sway in affecting Rogers' public perception than their actual worth-- which, of course, has nothing to do with anything we're actually talking about here.
i dont work for a telecom giant and i can find my call history in 20 seconds whether ive deleted the log from my phone or not. so whats really your point, other than a desire to perpetuate the dunn story, which jp probably doesnt want to do.
but i wonder, what does "way higher up on the totem" mean? that you believe ted cares more about a relatively small business more than he cares about the wireless/cable business? or that he cares about the jays (14% of the media business) as much as he cares about the tv/radio stations, which make up the bulk of the media business (and to which the jays/RC businesses are most closely associated)?
personally, i strongly doubt rogers cares as much about the jays as they do the former. it would seem to violate the most basic responsibility the executive management has to its shareholders (i.e. caring about a tiny business with low margins instead of or on par with the $9.9 bln-earning businesses with the margins above 35%). the latter (within the media segment) perhaps but, again, you're looking at a relatively small business within a much larger corporation.
moreover, if the company cared as much about the jays (as you suggest) bc of its high profile nature, then why dont they shell out an extra 75 million bucks or so on the payroll? figure that the worst case scenario of doing so is ultimately a slightly lower level of profitability (i calculate that $75 million of payroll would have lowered the overall profits of the corp. by 1.5% last year) for the company. but this would partially by offset by higher ticket sales, ads, etc...
so really, by spending 75 million, rogers corp could "buy" a winner for less than a 1 percentage point hit to last year's profit margin. but the company doesnt. why? bc either a) they dont think that adding four or five HUGE contracts would make the team more competitive (which wouldnt makes sense if the team is indeed a priority) or b) the company may care about the jays as ted's personal toy, but not enough to impact profits. which speaks to the importance of the jays within the overall rogers family.
$75 million dollars is a hell of a marketing budget increase.
You just wrote more in those two comments than Stoeten has written in total in the last month.
Plus, you managed to say nothing.
Sometimes I pick my nose.
The joke about SuperFan and the Jays hiring him is that Jays ushers will go out of their way to calm any 'boisterous' cheering. Anything that has the looks of what might possibly have a chance at turning into something that could light a match.
Case and point. At last nights game, possibly Griffey Jr.'s last in Toronto ever, a fan who stood and cheered for Griffey during his last at bat had an usher move down and stand about 4 seats away from him. After the at bat, the usher said, "Come with me, we need to talk". The guy replied, "I'm leaving anyways, it's 7 to 1 and I just came to see what I was here for".
Now I understand keeping an eye on the situation. Checking to see if any of the surrounding fans are getting annoyed or bothered. But to immediately reprimand a person. I mean, take every situation into context!
I sat in the 100s for the first time in years and I couldn't get over just how damn loud everything was. And we're scoring 7 runs, the crowd is doing their own cheering and there's organ guy, putting his two cents in because, God forbid, the crowd should decide for themselves how they want to support their team.
I really wonder what would happen if they retired all the loud music between innings and organ guy for a couple of games. I bet we'd be shocked at what the fans might come up with.
Of course, it could be doing the damn wave between innings, but rather they do that then and get it out of their system so they could, you know, actually watch the game.
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