You Sir, Are Incompetent

It may have been a bad week for the Toronto Blue Jays as they finished up their nine game road trip on a losing note, but a new level of shittiness was achieved over the past seven days by a certain ginger-locked employee of Rogers Sportsnet with a penchant for polluting airwaves.

Last Sunday, we staggered into The Score studios to record our podcast while a particularly vicious form of venom still flowed through our veins. A mere three hours previous, we were forced to endure an oddly enthusiastic Jamie Campbell enter into hysterics as the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim secured a walk-off run against the Toronto Blue Jays.

To say that Cambell, the hometown commentator, acted inappropriately by excitedly relaying a dramatic loss to hundreds of thousands of viewers who support the beaten team is an understatement worthy of saying that Orson Welles had a slight drinking problem. It was undeniably shocking to hear Campbell announce the defeat in a manner that showed a blatant disregard for his audience. I don't think it's a stretch to say that his inconsiderate commentary was a slap in the face to Jays fans.

Listening to the ordeal made me wish it possible to somehow transfer the vocal chords of the square ginger with an actual competent commentator's larynx. Unfortunately, Campbell has already proven that his body will reject talent or anything resembling it.

One day after this travesty, my friend and accomplice, Andrew Stoeten took Blue Jays commentator to task for a ridiculous post that appeared on sportsnet.ca welcoming a new era of small ball to the Toronto Blue Jays. In his writing, Campbell claimed that it was fun to watch the Blue Jays struggle at the plate and have their lineup reduced to using desperation tactics to score runs. He went on to write about the Jays loss of power at the plate as though it were a blessing to fans.

The next evening, while commentating the first game of the Yankees series, Campbell again meandered across the line of good taste by stating his belief that fans prefer watching small ball in comparison to . . . well, I suppose seeing the Jays actually win games.

Yes, Jamie, I completely believe you because your record of commentary has proven that you really have your fingers on the pulse of Jays fans.

That brings us to yesterday afternoon, when this happened. Instead of learning a lesson from his previous ill-advised outburst of gushing when the opposing team beat the Toronto Blue Jays in dramatic fashion, Campbell again entered into an hysterical paroxysm that would rival a pelvic massage from the Victorian era. Some viewers even claimed that it was worse than the Angels call that caused so much rage only days earlier.

Let me ensure it's understood that I'm not asking for a Michael Kay style homerism to constantly emanate from the Blue Jays broadcast booth. All I'm asking from a commentator that I'm likely to watch forty or fifty times over the summer is that they remain aware of their audience.

Compare Campbell's sycophantic grandstanding to the professionalism of a Jerry Howarth, and you'll understand what I'm writing about. Howarth, calling the exact same play yesterday, spoke of Giambi's home run with the proper level of respectful excitement and restrained disappointment that the moment called for. Campbell treated the moment with an outlandishness that hasn't been heard from a Blue Jays broadcast booth since Joe Carter touched 'em all.

Random Jamie Campbell Facts

Campbell got his start with a job as librarian and runner for the Hockey Night in Canada archives where he worked with Chris Cuthbert and Brian Williams. Imagine that, two future broadcasters working together in the CBC archives.

Campbell's first on-air work was covering a University of Alberta hockey game for the CBC in Edmonton. The broadcast followed a local science show for kids where one time an experiment with gun powder and kerosene went terribly wrong. This prompts two questions: 1) Could I host a revival of this program? 2) Would Jamie Campbell be interested in being a side kick on a poorly prepared science show? It will be fun.

According to Campbell, one of the perks of commenting baseball games is the travel. However, airline stewards are never thrilled to see Campbell seated on their planes because when he flies it's one of the rare instances when airlines actually encourage other passengers to carry sharp objects and bombs and bear traps and molten lava and javelins and various other weapons of Campbell destruction.