The Drunk Jays Fans Salute Those Who Made It Through the All-Star Game
Hi all.
It's me, Stoeten.
I just wanted to take a minute out of my busy day to say thanks to all of you who endured tonight's All-Star game. While I can assure you that I sure as shit did not, I want to give my respect to those who laboured through all fifteen of those innings. And I want to especially give thanks to those who had to read this quote from Mariano Rivera, or-- God forbid-- had to hear it. (Not to mention the five-plus hours of similar bullshit that almost certainly preceded it.)
You've done us proud. As baseball fans, we salute your pointless devotion to an exhibition game, and also to the concept of bullshit lore that would have made the Cryptkeeper cringe in embarrassment. Godspeed.
''Yankee Stadium is tough, I'm telling you,'' Yankees closer Mariano Rivera said. ''Didn't want it to end.''
(Oh, uh... unless that's a joke, in which case, well... whatever... fuck the All-Star game.)
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46 comments:
I checked, and this is the first time we've used "The Cryptkeeper" tag. Let's hope it's not the last.
It was worth it, for nothing else than to see both Pap and Mo throw innings that ended meaning absolutely nothing. And to see Doc be his usual efficient self. (He threw 9 pitches - I checked.) And to see Dan Uggla have the worst All Star game ever. And to watch the managers sweat as they used pitchers they had promised not to.
And yeah, there was some completely kick-ass defense on both sides. It was worth it, for bragging rights if nothing else.
It was a good baseball game, not much of a problem in watching that.
stoeten hates good baseball games
an angry individual, stoeten is.
i'm concerned about his blood pressure
that's just rock stars for you. gives them that edge.
it was great to watch, one of the best all-star games in years. i feel sorry the angry stoeten missed it.
Did anyone watching the fox brodcast here them call the jays stadium the "Rodgers dome"
I got to use that from now on.
I stayed up through the whole 15 (had to work at 5:30 this morning) and I don't regret it at all. I think that speaks to the quality of ball.
That was the most entertaining game I have watched in a long time, exhibition or not.
What are the odds that Dan Uggla is hanging by his neck in his fucking closet right now?
It wouldn't of been such a long game if the umpires were better. Young was safe at second on the phantm tag and navarro was safe at home in the 10th I believe. Umps have to realize if the catcher is on the plate and tags the guys waist then his legs would of already touched the plate
great game made even greater by the fact that i'm not working today.
i was watching an old episode of stump the schwab earlier in the evening and a question came up asking the contestants to name the players on the 25 man roster for the jays 1992 WS win. the 3 players (plus schwab, although he probably could have continued after the contestants were eliminated) were only able to name 5. carter, key, white, borders and henke.
Quote from Doc:
"There's no chance if I have anything to say about it that I'm going anywhere. I can understand maybe disappointment with the way we're going. But as long as it's up to me, I'm staying."
I heart that man.
Sorry Ack, I just saw that you posted that quote last night. Worth re-posting though...over and over and over and over....
ALL games in all sports are meaningless exhibitions, the All-Star game included. Let's not kid ourselves.
While the cheesy music and other Fox BS gets tiresome, it's still baseball, the players were clearly trying, and I'm not afraid to admit I always enjoy the All-Star game. The first 10 innings anyway...
no problemo dude (I was just busting Joanna's balls, er wait.....). Wilner also commented in his blog that he spoke with Doc and said something to the effect of "I'll stay as long as they'll have me".
Gimme a B...
Schwab questions were awesome last night - the answers to the 92 Jays question were BRUTAL!
Most of the incorrect answers were 93 Jays...but how could anyone forget Dave Winfield and his series winning hit???
AS game was incredible - best I can remember anyways. Wasn't expecting a Jaysesque performance at the plate though. 3-28 RISP for the game.
Gross...and I dont mean Gabe.
Haha. Well, obviously I didn't watch it. I figured people would say that. I just got home and was like, holy shit, it went 15 innings? Good on you if it was good ball. Please take my salute sincerely, if you prefer it that way.
Or that Timlin was on the mound?? or Maldonado hitting the one over dude's head to win game three, or Guzman starting game three or Duane Ward or Mookie Wilson's inability to hit a ball, Pat Borders . ..
Lame.
Also, I solved the anonymous mystery.
"Anonymous said...
an angry individual, stoeten is."
He's motherfuckin' Yoda.
Hey, is that a picture of the Cryptkeeper, or just a picture of Cito since he's dropped all the weight and got old?
Ha, even though it was an exhibition game, I was annoyed that Sportsnet flipped over before they showed the damn MVP. Not like it mattered, but I seriously doubt that legions of fans were anxiously waiting to watch Connected.
And given that it took several super slow motion ultra close up replays to show that the glove may have been an inch or so above Kinsler (I think it was Kinsler, not Young), I'm going to give the ump a pass on that one.
If there was ever a reason to hate Yankee fans this might be the best http://www.fannation.com/truth_and_rumors/view/57991 Last time I checked, "uttering death threats" was still a chargable offense. I'm all for heckling (as anyone who has been to a game with me knows) but somethings cross the line.
Watching Chase Utley say "fuck you" to Yankees fans, I did love.
What's with Tim McCarver blathering on how Kevin Youkillis wasn't getting booed but the Yankee fans were saying "yook"
what a tit...
Did anyone watching the fox brodcast here them call the jays stadium the "Rodgers dome"
I got to use that from now on.
Me and my boys all started simultaneously texting each other snide remarks about Halladay's weekend shutout at Rogers Dome. I guess they don't give a shit about anywhere else but Yankee Stadium.
All I know is I spared myself endless hours of blather about the greatness of Yankee Stadium, the Yankees who played their, and the "great city" where it stands.
For that, I congratulate myself.
~Will
Is the broadcaster/cryptkeeper dude in the linked photo the one who made the vaguely racist comment during the home run derby? A friend at work said someone said something along the lines of "What's with all the white guys in the HR derby? It looks like a Kiwanis club meeting."
Does anyone know anything about this?
I could not believe it took almost an hour to get through all the ceremonial bullshit before the game started. Play some ball already! Steinbrenner looked like Jabba the Hut being wheeled around in that cart.
That was Rick Reilly from former Sports Illustrated fame that made the assinine "white dudes" comment. Having him on that telecast put two of the most annoying people on the planet on the same show. Chris Berman being the other.
Berman's schtick has worn incredibly, incredibly thin, but the deux-deux-deux thing just keeps me from going over the edge into pure-on hate.
Hey man, that was the best ballgame I've seen in a while. Granted I haven't seen a ballgame in a while, but it was still entertaining. A lot of great fuckin plays, including McLouth's throw from centrefield to get that guy out.
Dude, have you seen the story I wrote about Wayne yet?
doesnt the all-star game start off with an hour of bullshit ceremony every single year? i hear that theyre thinking about taking some time before the first game of the world series to introduce the players and coaches.
Brett, yeah, I saw it. Great work! I'll be posting about it like an hour or so (real work to do until then).
SPOILER ALERT: In the post I'll be writing, I'll announce that Parkes will be on MTV Live tonight around 6 to discuss Wayne's awesomeness.
i know no one reads bugs and cranks but i saw it linked on blue jay way and checked it. spencer takes the liberty of calling out 'guys like mike wilner and the drunk jays fans' http://www.bugsandcranks.com/toronto-blue-jays/spencer-kyte/if-this-doesnt-motivate-them-nothing-will/
in addition, he suggests that we jays fans are 'diluting' ourselves. is he suggesting i water down my mixed drinks? because this aggression will not stand, man!
Spencer does have a point. Anyone with eyes can see that the Godfrey/J.P reign has been a near disaster but people, including Wilner, continue to defend him.
Look at J.P's decisions this year. Blunder after blunder.
It's not so much defending JP as it is being realistic about what's going on, what options are actually out there, and trying to point out the logic of JP's doings to a fanbase that, at this point, is extremely skeptical of everything he does. This year, of course, hasn't been good. But blunder after blunder is hardly correct, nor is the idea that this front office has been a disaster.
its true. JP is an average GM. But average doesn't cut it in the AL East. He has been learning by drafting better the last few years, but his learning curve has been awfully slow. Look how fast Jon Daniels figured it out in Texas...a couple of years and they restocked the farm system.
Totally off topic....anyone know where I can pick up a wiffleball set here in Canada? The HR derby the other night made me long for cranking wiffleballs out of my backyard.
"That was the most entertaining game I have watched in a long time, exhibition or not."
Amen, Stedron. That was amazing baseball.
"It wouldn't of been such a long game if the umpires were better. Young was safe at second on the phantm tag and navarro was safe at home in the 10th I believe. Umps have to realize if the catcher is on the plate and tags the guys waist then his legs would of already touched the plate"
Anon: Young was definitely safe at second, but I'm pretty sure Navarro was dead to rights. I really think the glove touched his shoe/sock/around that area on the way up. Regardless, it was such a good play that it deserved the call out.
How many guys total were thrown out at the plate in the game? Six?
4:39 Anon:
I just picked mine up on eBay. I got 10 balls and a bat for like 25 bucks I think. You should get two bats though while you're getting it shipped. It'll only cost a couple more bucks and I'm scared mine is going to break and leave me wiffle-batless.
Wiffle? Wanna play on Saturday? Hanlan's Point. 2 PM.
Ward & Patch at Jane and Annette. Definitely have balls, not 100% on bats though. A good store all around.
//But blunder after blunder is hardly correct, nor is the idea that this front office has been a disaster.//
I call no meaningful games in September, a minor league system ranked in the bottom five and millions of wasted dollars in payroll a disaster. What do you call it?
The nature of being a small-market team in the most stacked division in pro sports in a league where only eight of 30 teams make the playoffs?
Toronto is not a small market. We have a 100 million dollar payroll. 11 Million of which is being paid to Frank Thomas and another 11 to someone who won 10 games in the first two years of his contract.
Small market doesn't equal lousy farm system. Bad drafting does.
Pathetic attempt at defending the Jays under J.P.
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