Vernon Wells: Trailblazer - And Other Unsubstantiated Innuendo
During halftime, the concourses at BMO Field get packed to the tits with people lining up for $12 beer, and to use bank machines so that they can take out more money so that they can buy more $12 beer. It's damn near impossible to navigate your way through the crowd... unless you're me and you're creepily following in behind the path laid by the greatest limping trailblazer this side of Bill Walton: Vernon Wells.
The concourse crowd at Thursday night's MLS All-Star game opened up for VW like they were a drunk girl on a date to the ballgame with Parkes, and I made it from one end of the stadium to the other in what I presumed must have been some sort of record time. (Incidentally, nobody is sure if the 05/26/08 comment on the post I just linked to is real or not. I mean, it's totally bang on, but I don't know if it's genuinely from one of his ladyfriends, or just some dude trying to rip him.) (Oh, and speaking of girls with low self-esteem getting fucked by metrosexuals, on the way back to my seat I saw a girl in a homemade "Bend Me Over Beckham" shirt. Classy.)
Anyway, Vernon, if you're out there, I was the creepy guy stalking you down the whole concourse when you went to get some ice cream or something during halftime. I didn't intend for it to be that way, you just blaze a mean fucking trail. Respect.
Oh, and the BMO Field experience continues to make me feel ashamed to be a baseball fan in this city. It's like you're not even in Toronto. It's fucking awesome.
Grist for Some Kind of Mill
A number of interesting things to report on that came up since we last left off. As always, rather than going and researching this stuff myself, I'm just swiping almost all of it from MLB Trade Rumors.
From Wednesdays With JP:
Holy shit, I miss one episode of Wednesday's with JP and he goes and says that they were spurned by Richie fucking Sexson. Why would you even admit that? I mean, I guess it's OK that they looked at Sexson, seeing as Eckstein at DH is unbelievably ridiculous, but still... is another Mariners washout really what this team needs right now?
JP also said that he's "not ruling anything out" when asked if a trade of the Beej was possible. I fucking love the Beej, but I love the concept of $10M relievers a little less. So... I dunno... if the right prospects came along, I might not shit on something like that too much.
From Dan Graziano:
Graziano, of the Newark Star-Ledger was the one who, yesterday, brought us the story about the Jays feeling out the market for Roy Halladay. He stands by it today, noting that nobody denied that they sent out some feelers. Fair enough. Doesn't mean anything is anywhere close to imminent-- in fact, something I forgot to put in the Wednesdays with JP section is that Ricciardi said that his intention is to have a conversation with Uncle Ted to ask for extra money to sign Doc once this season is over. Sure, JP. Sure.
Graziano also mentions the Marlins having interest in Gregg Zaun, and the Mets looking at Brian Tallet (though Jon Heyman relays a report from Joe DeMayo that says the Mets are on Downs).
From Some Thing Called Portfolio:
Manny Ramirez. Man. Myth. Opponent of Toilet Paper. Future Blue Jay.
Oh, and they suggest that the Sox are finally fed up, that Manny will hit the market, and that he'd be looking at $13M or so-- $15M if the Yankees get involved. Let's do this.
Posts
125 comments:
Plug Manny and Orlando Cabrera into this lineup and we've got a playoff contender on our hands.
The JP/Ted picture remains an inspiration to this day.
I really don't want to have to put up with Manny being Manny. Sadly, he still hits bombs.
It's like meeting a really hot chick who is a total moron. Do you or don't you? And if you do how long can you put up with her shit for?
Until you find another girl that will let you defile her like the really hot chick does.
can we throw something or someone into a downs trade, and get heilman back? i still think he could be a great starter.
They should give 500 level tickets out to everyone who goes to a game at BMO. Maybe that'd fix the atmosphere in the cable box.
Either that or Toronto sports fans should arbitrarily heap their love on the Jays, just like they did to Toronto FC.
I'm pretty sure that finally having, after about 30 years with only the Lynx, a decent-ish level professional team in the most popular sport in the world is hardly an arbitrary reason for throwing your support behind something.
Dear Manny,
Sorry, but I am not won over. Your witless antics just reek of senility. Keep you and your stinky ass-dreads our of this country !!!
Dear anonymous,
Shut up! You'll queer the deal!
I like the difference between stinky-ass dreads and stinky ass-dreads.
Oh, and you're a fucking retard if you don't want Manny on your team.
I'd rather have Delgado and his lower price
I would not. There is no team in baseball that would rather have Delgado than Manny. No one. Price or no price.
Oh, and you're also a fucking retard if you don't want Bonds on your team.
I don't disagree, but can we maybe please stop talking about Bonds? Maybe?
I made some additions to the second paragraph. It's much better, FYI.
Don't get all "fucking retard" tough with me Dusty. I'll kick you right in your vagina
Manny is a douche-face. And so is anybody likes him as much as you do
Nothing is more douche-face than liking one of the best hitters to ever play the game.
Why don't people like Manny? 'Cause he's kooky? How dare he have a personality!
If this asshole can dream about Halladay:
http://www.pinstripealley.com/2008/7/25/579036/oh-lord-hear-my-prayers-de
I can certainly wish for Manny.
Ok, let's talk about Burnett.
He gave a good interview on Sportsnet tonight. He said all the right things and even likened the Jays to Colorado of last year, in a way. I've appreciated most of his starts and would love to keep him.
But, his interview was such bullshit. He was obviously talking to the other teams in trying to make himself look like a team-first type of player.
I'm not falling for that B.S. because as soon as he's out of here, I bet he'll say so much shit about Toronto that it will pale in comparison to Vince Carter's crap.
I don't know if I can blame him but it's still bullshit.
No one could ever compare to Vince Carter. He is the biggest asshole in pro sports. To say AJ pales in comparison to Carter is a massive insult.
I might be interested in Delgado, but no more than a two year deal. Manny would be the best thing ever though.
A.Js hedging his bets
Waaaahhh! Manny is a douche-face!
Fuck off.
Parkes, let me, um, pull a Stoeten here...Um. Uh, you're telling me a team wouldn't take Delgado, who would produce similarly to Manny and is the same age, at half the price? What the fucking fuck? And, um, Delgado is especially a good fit since, um, he'd be willing to play DH unlike Manny who uh...would force Lind to DH...so...I dunno.
"manny being manny" is hitting homeruns, it's part of the package.
I remember reading on one of those gossip sites (on the dl?) that sexson has a tiny penis. I don't know from experience (he wishes), but everytime I see him play/ hear him discussed, I think "tiny penis."
oh, and manny on this team is my dream. seriously, make it happen. and he has played dh for boston for a number of their papi-free games. So he may be open to it.
you're joking right? carlos isn't half the player manny is. Maybe at some point it was close but no longer.
Ha Manny is actually a month older. I had no clue.
Not my finest moment, but googling "Richie Sexson" + "tiny penis" gave me this site:
http://www.talk-sports.net/mlb/history.aspx/Jeremy_Accardo
Good impression. Valid points. I'd still absolutely go for Manny, but I'm sure some budget-conscious teams would see better value in Delgado. But Carlos, despite a surge to offset his shaky start has had his OPS+ go from 161 to 131 to 103 to 118 this year (right now Overbay is 111 and Rolen is 113-- think about that).
Manny? 153, 165, 126, 143.
Manny. Is. Clearly. Better.
Lind misteps on the field, but makes up for it right away with the bat
8th double this season
Manny,
You can come play XBox at my place and eat poptarts. And you can hit 4th in our lineup.
Call me,
Andrew.
Journalists start rumours about Halladay because they know JP's a jackass
Andrew,
Manny will shit those pop tarts out all over you house
^ and not use toilet paper
This game should be 5-4 for somebody by this point.
What the shit! I was working the ASG and saw NO SUCH THING, but I did have to walk some stupid girls in and out of the concourse at halftime because my stupid security guard let them in.
I HATE LIFE.
In addition, fuck Manny.
Wilkerson !
Please DJF, find out who that douche nozzle was that caught a foul ball out of overbay's glove (in the top of the 6th) and then played to the crowd like he had done a good thing. He needs to be destroyed!!!!!! (even if it only cost us a pitch or two)
^^^^
My thoughts exactly. Toronto fans are the worst. He should be mercilessly flogged.
And then Wilk gives him the ball from the third out.
seriously how do these people get seats like that
With runners on second and third, Rolen is now 0 for 6 with 3 Ks.
I can't believe somebody high fived him.
For fuck's sake.
The sooner Lind takes Rolen's spot in the order the better
That's two mid-plate-appearance pitching changes this game. How often does that happen?
I can't believe how often this team leaves 2 runners on base in an inning.
Rios
- pop out, line out, ground out, force out
if you're working your way down Alex, the next one is strikeout followed by gidp
The invisible Allen Iverson on the field just broke Overbay's ankles.
What. the. fuck.
Hopefully The Beej will be less nerve-wracking today than his last outing.
Rolen double play
who didn't predict that ?
Holy shit. Hate to shit on Lind now, but it's hard to look worse than he did in that AB.
dumbass baserunning by ecks
That's pretty much what split fingered fastballs do to lefties, isn't it?
Overbays fault, he should have puched the little dickhead in face, he would have been rewarded and imortalized forever. "forgive the speeeelling"
That was acceptably drama-free.
Wilkerson with a 9 pitch leadoff walk... c'mon guys behind him.
Okay, that's a bunt... C'mon Scoot or Rios.
Okay, that's another walk... Please, Rios, don't do... that thing you're going to do.
Well that was frustrating, but not the worst thing that could have happened.
And Overbay strikes out looking, with the crowd offering no encouragement at any point during the inning.
nice walk to willie fucking bloomquist
And Carlson gets to two outs, then shits on the game.
Bottom 10
3 up, 3 down
Zaun, McDonald, Rolen
Mench might pinch hit for Mac if it's not a bunting situation.
^ maybe not
(well, unless there's a double play)
And what do you know, it is a bunting situation.
And he gets down a not very good bunt and the Jays catch a break.
So does Rolen bunt here?
And he does, and they get the lead runner this time. Ugh.
And Lind flies out, and it's up to Wilkerson. Sigh.
I thought that it was going to be 3 up 3 down, but I forgot that they have to leave at least 2 on base
Dayum, wtf just happened
C'mon Inglett...
Hahahahahaha, Ichiro. That was hilarious. You are a clutch motherfucker, Joe Inglett.
Inglett!
Inglett's beer is on me, next time he's in the bay area.
Well it took longer to get to 5-4 than I expected, but it happened.
See. And you thought we need "douche-face" Ramirez
wow... that was ruled a hit... gift...
Butterfingers Suzuki! It's about time the Jays got an extra-innings win at home.
we need Ramirez for PLAYOFFS!!!
Gift ? Look how fast and far Suzuki ran. If he catches it it's an amazing game winning catch, but there's no way that he should be expected to catch that
Stomin' Norman is bashing Mike Wilner Mike Toth-style.
Stomin' Norman says Bonds can't play anymore, got walks because the league doesn't respect him, and is an absolute cancer.
Something tells me Stomin' Norman doesn't know much about baseball.
"The best thing about baseball this year is no Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. It's been a holiday. BYE BYE Barry. Is it collusion? Well, good for those teams."
lol.
I've never actually listened to this guy for longer than a few minutes on a car radio, this is hilarious.
Something tells me you have never listened to Stormin Norman, cuz that's not him.
Who is it? Lajoie or whatever his name is?
Either way, it's great stuff indeed.
Now he's bashing Rolen, haha.
Now he's bashing Rolen, haha.
Don't look now but it's a crazy awesome CFL game going on out west.
I think my favourite part of that game was hearing Pat Tabler talk about how any contending team would love to have Jose Vidro. Because "veteran presence" can definitely make up for .229/.274/333 as a DH.
Can someone summarize what the fuck fucking happened? I'm a little fucked.
The Jays did their usual shit for 10 innings (underachieving agaisnt terrible pitchers, making poor baseball decisions, not hitting with RISP), but somehow managed to win in the end.
Somewhere in between all of this a douchebag kid on the 1st base line stole a ball away from Lyle Overbay to show off to the girlfriend that was with him, and then remained standing for cheers after the fact (which some of the stupid fucking crowd gave him). A few moments after that, as Wilkerson is running in from right after catching the 3rd out, he throws the kid his ball, and the same shit happens all over again. It was fucking terrible.
Zaun for Ramirez!
Nice, Rios decided to hit a home run
Stairs hit a triple. He looked like he was gonna die nearing third.
The crowd really sucks today. I know the crowds aren't always great, but it sounds like there's 12 people in the stadium.
This is interesting. Look at Mighty Joe Inglett's stats so far this year and compare them to his 2006 total stats. Same games played, HR, RBI, BA, hits, walks, and runs. Only big difference is that he's striking out half as much. Either he got better or he's been lucky. A quick check of his BABIP and it's actually only .305 so it's not luck. Great pickup by JP. He's for real and we can safely expect this rate of production for the rest of the season.
Oh, and fuck Reed Johnson.
Mike Wilner on the broadcast just said Dusty is out for the season and will have surgery on his shoulder. Fantastic. At least they're getting it over with now so he could be ready to go for spring training.
So I guess Purcey will be here for the rest of the season. Yaaaaaaaaaay?
Purcey is nailing it. I'm fine with him being here for the season if he's going to pitch like this.
His fastball is hanging around 90-93, but he's shown that he can get it up there 94-95 in his previous starts (with less control, obv).
total Rios boner right now.
and if Purcey can keep the ball around the plate like he is today, he'll be a good one.
fuck, baaaaaad news on Dusty though....ready for spring training is the best case scenario....
Get Eckstein out of there. That was awful.
the fact that he plays shortstop in the major leagues is mind blowing. the guy has no business there, 2nd base fine, but shit, scutaro makes that throw easily
the fuckers have scored in every inning. this would have been nice in april and june
Since the ASB, Rios has hit as many HR as before the break.
Can we play Seattle more?
Surf's up! Man, if League can keep throwing strikes with that high-90's fastball with serious movement, that would be, like, radical, you know?
I'm sure the DJF's will copy this tidbit later this weekend (the drunk hacks that they are) but mlbtraderumous.com is saying the Bosox might put manny on waivers... we might not have to wait a season to see ManRam's flowing locks in our, soon to be stud filled, OF. In all seriousness... add manny to the middle of this line up (removing Wilkerson, and stairs later once wells is back) is a legitimate playoff team!!
Manny in the OF - Barf
Manny DH'ing - Yes
If he played on any other team in the major leagues he'd be DH'ing, perhaps the only worse fielder in the game is David Ortiz.
As much as I really don't like his ridiculous style (see: Pajama Pants, predator haircut and back pocket constantly out of pants), his above-the-game attitude (see: staring at long flyballs that don't always leave the yard) and general weirdness (see bathroom breaks and cell phone calls), I would really love to see a guy in the 4 spot that can scare the shit out of pitchers.
I hate Manny, I love his bat though.
Everyone loves Manny. He should be a Blue Jay.
Get 'er done JP.
hopefully jp "sells his soul" to get him
Manny seems kinda like a guy who doesn't really like baseball, you know? Might discourage JP from getting him.
Much like Stoeten, I like Manny Ramirez about as much as I like the Toronto FC.
Unlike Stoeten, I don't like either that much. Frankly, they can both fuck themselves.
^^^^
You apparently don't like the Jays either. Not wanting Manny in your lineup, especially this lineup, is beyond retarded.
Manny Ramirez>Toronto FC
Seriously, you guys. You guys, seriously. Fuck Manny!
See even the fem-jays fans want manny in town (although for very naughty reasons) Til wells is back we'd have to put him in the OF (lind to right??) but yeah, let stairsy do a little spot duty and have the all-powerful-soon-to-be-jays-super-masher DH and bat 4th.... I'm with sarah, I'd fuck him if it got him in a jays uniform
TELL ME WHAT EXACTLY makes you morons "think?" that JP would go after douche-face Ramirez when he wouldn't consider Dunn because of something to do with his attitude ??
you . are . all . FOOLS !!!
btw
Dunn has TWENTY-NINE home runs in 320 at-bats this season. Almost half of the 73 that Jays hitters have totaled in 3509 at-bats. He also leads the NL in walks.
What do you know about JP ? Do you know that he doesn't like winning that much ?
He is a clown.
Oh my god, ew.
Manny>clowns.
cool sunglasses in the OF
The Prime Minister of Swat!
The Jays came into this game with a plan at the plate. That plan was to put garbage pitches into play weakly early in the count.
Don't worry, they're waiting to bring out the brooms against the Rays
9:36 and griff has voiced his ...
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