What Is This .500?
Having attained a new level of mediocrity with two wins yesterday, the Toronto Blue Jays actually finished a road trip with a winning record. In other news, hell froze over, pigs were seen flying, and Andrew Stoeten regrew hair on the top of his head.
It was exactly one year ago today that the Jays also attained a new level of mediocrity (does that make this year's old?), by finally reaching .500 during a season that is politely described by the higher classes of Jays fans as fucking terrible cunt balls. I'm already eagerly awaiting this season's descriptive summary which will include such phrases as stank on the hang low, giblet pie and Eddie Murphy.
Fuck, I've got nothing.
I'm absolutely convinced that at some point in late August, the Jays will somehow find themselves a very reachable four games back of the Wild Card, raising the hopes of all the suckers who still find themselves watching afternoon games on the Maryland Sports Network, only to fall apart in an even more spectacular fashion than they have already this season on numerous occasions.
As much as I shake my head at the season thus far and remain on the verge of shock that the Blue Jays are actually at .500 after all the bullshit that has happened, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that management doesn't get delusional and somehow imagine at the end of next week that the Jays actually have a chance at competing in September.
They don't.
Now, is the time to deal or release the extra parts that won't or at least shouldn't be a part of next season. Believe me, Mr. Rogers, if ticket sales suffer over the last couple months of the season, wouldn't the overall improvement of the ball club be worth it in a town that is notorious for coming out only to see a winner?
Over this home stand, the Blue Jays should not be playing to win. They should be showcasing Matt Stairs, David Eckstein, Gregg Zaun and anyone else that at the very least, a bag of donuts can be exchanged for. The only problem may be that no one will be willing to give up a cruller for the collection of Cito's exiles.
So, uh, Rod Barajas to the Yankees?
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Hey Jays. It's me, Chris. How have you been?
I can't help but think about the last things I said to you a couple of weeks back. No need to re-hash them now, but I'm sure you remember what they were. I feel like I was too harsh on you. I should never have questioned how much you were putting into our relationship. Sometimes the timing just isn't right. I guess it's one of those things you never realize until the situation is in the rearview mirror, but at any rate, I'm sorry.
I'll be honest, I heard some good things have been happening for you in the last few days. I'm happy for you. I came across one of your old jerseys in my closet the other day. It got me thinking about how much I loved it when I was able to be a part of your accomplishments. Something about seeing you happy always made me happy. I miss that.
Anyway, I was wondering if we could get together for a drink sometime while you take on the Mariners. I'd like to hear what you're up to and how you think your pitching rotation is going to set up for the rest of the season. No expectations, we can just see if there's anything still there between us. If not, at least we’ll be sure. Either way, we will always have some great memories.
Love always,
-Chris
Oh, and I'm fairly certain it's the Mid-Atlantic Sports Network, not that anyone gives a shit.
hooooooooooooo-ah
fuck this season
Careful Stedron, this is one bitch that WILL break your heart again.
But the good times are so good....
actually, showcasing Stairs will only decrease his trade value. Don't know if you've heard, but his swing is "just a little bit long right now".
Stedron, you're not fooling anyone. You just want to get your dick wet with a 3-game-winning-streak-all-weekend-bender, after which you'll roll out of bed with all the regrets you had before.
Do it.
I hereby launch the official Bring Carlos' Back to Toronto Campaign. As someone at Batters Box pointed out, Carlos is far from finished. He simply just sucks at Shea Stadium where he unfortunately plays half his games. At Shea his career OPS is .758 but away from Shea it's .910. And his career OPS at Skydome? How about .984. He won't repeat that of course but anything around .900 would be absolutely tits. We need power, a DH, lefties, more attendance, replace Stairs, gets Wells and Rolen out of the cleanup spot, etc. and with one move all of those things would be solved.
JP was forced to offer him an embarrassing 6 mil per when his contract expired in 2004 because of the payroll. But after this season, the Mets are unlikely to pick up his $12 million option for next year and instead will probably buy him out for $4 million. If they do, we might be able to get him for 8-9 million for 3-4 years, which is about half of what Manny would ask for.
Carlos needs to retire as a Jay and go to the HOF with a Jays cap. Make it happen JP!
I share your Delgado boner. I'd take him over Manny.
Just a couple of guys.....sharing a boner....totally natural.
Can we get Carlos' front to Toronto as well?
my name is stedron, and I am absolutely nailing it right now.
Lol, bad typo. I want his whole body, not just his back....(That's what she said)
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here for another 3 minutes.
Considering the collapse of most of our catching prospects, we may need to pick up the team option on Barajas. Since Jeroloman has played all of one game in Syracuse, I doubt he'll be ready to start next year.
Which catching prospects collapsed?
Which catching prospects collapsed?
Well other than Thigpen, but he was the worst of them anyway.
Yeah, I agree. I see Zaun being moved as way more likely, unless JP is thinking about a one year deal in the offseason for a FA catcher as a stop gap.
FA Catchers, * means option:
Rod Barajas TOR
Henry Blanco * CHC
Johnny Estrada MIL
Toby Hall * CWS
Adam Melhuse TEX
Mike Redmond * MIN
Ivan Rodriguez DET
David Ross * CIN
Javier Valentin CIN
Jason Varitek BOS
Vance Wilson DET
Gregg Zaun * TOR
Bring Rodriguez in for a year? With Manny, we could have the greatest team from 2005.
J.P. Arencibia and Brian Jeroloman can't be too far away, but I don't think next season.
You guys?
parkes go fuck yourself
Give me Toby Hall or give me death!
That list is pretty grim. I'd like to see Barajas stay, especially if AJ stays (however unlikely).
Diaz and Barajas start the year next year and keep the seat warm for Arencibia. No worries at that spot. Except for Diaz and Barajas. Oh.
Um. And Arencibia.
Though he tore up high-A pretty good.
The Barajas team option is really nice. But if the Janks wanna give sumptin' up for him, I wouldn't be heartbroken.
Diaz is meuh to me. I prefer Jeroloman.
^^Parkes is anti-latino!
Enjoy your White Jays, you Geoff Baker fellater!
^^Reminds me of an old Bill Maher line when someone on his show referred to Hispanics being Spanish.
"The Spanish in America are just rich Mexicans."
Jeroloman? What do you even know about Jeroloman? Did you know he doesn't like baseball?
Also, he doesn't seem to be the hitter that Arencibia is.
Yeah, but he walks more than a fat kid at a cross country race.
Jeroloman>Diaz
Arencibia has more power than any of them, but he needs to learn to take a walk or he's going to turn into worse version of Bengie Molina.
Arenciba>Jeroloman>Diaz.....I think management envisions Arenciba being a 125-start guy and Jeroloman being the defensive/personal caddy type guy.
Because clearly, you know, I'm in Jays' management heads and everything.
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