Kevin Mench Knows Fake Joba, Loves the Fucking Eagles, Man
I don't know what the hell they're putting in the water in down there in Wilmington, but let's just say that I wouldn't be surprised if turned out that the tonic Ken Griffey Jr. was drinking in the classic softball episode of the Simpsons from forty years ago had come straight from Delaware Bay.
Why do I say this, you ask? Because today I learned that the Jays' own cranially-endowed pseudo-slugger, Kevin Mench, apparently played high school baseball with the giant-skulled doppelganger who has come to be known as "Fake Joba".
Fake Joba, in case you missed it, is a Delaware man who looks so much like the sickeningly hyped Yankees phenom that this summer he apparently managed to trick upwards of 100 New Jersey tarts into letting him defile them (or so he claims).
The Fightins.com, a Phillies blog, has more on the story of Mench's sleazy ex-teammate, which last Saturday was originally reported by the New York Post. Their piece includes audio from this shit stain's surely high-minded appearance on the Howard Stern show-- which is where Fake Joba naturally turned in order to find an attorney to help him avoid jail time on charges of "criminal simulation", or as I call it, being an ugly fucking scumbag.
To this I can only say, fuck you Fake Joba, and great job, New Jersey Police! Somebody's got to stand up for these nearsighted whores!
Oh, and the Fightins, for some reason, also mentioned glowingly that Mench has an Eagles tattoo. Sadly, though, when I clicked on the picture it turned out to be not quite what I originally imagined.
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20 rational and reasonable comments:
Good to see somebody else has 10th anniversary Lebowski fever.
For some reason I don't mind the Mench. He's got a pretty bad-ass batting stance.
And go ask Boston fans:
More ugly muthafukas = World Series
Lying to Jersey girls in order to get laid is like bargaining above the asking price.
They'll go down for a pat on the head and a handful of peanuts.
My mention of the Iggles tattoo was more "in passing" than "glowingly" (I hope).
And check the comments of that post, people came out of the fucking woodwork to dismiss Fake Joba's claims. One guy said he didn't even go to the same high school as Mench nor was he good enough to play on a team with him.
And word on the street is, Mench has the lyrics to "Desperado" tatted on his back.
I know a mofo who looks like Big Papi down here in NYC. Mind you we have some uglyass people down here......That mother is so ugly he couldn't get laid walkin' through a whorehouse with a thousand dollar bill in his right hand! My friend big Flappi( that's what we call him) tried to pass himself as Big Papi but all these Yankee bitches told fatso to bugger off.......the same bitches who went to the Jersey Shore and wanted to fuck fake Joba.Slutting whores........
I wish I was A fake Halladay. That would be so fucking sweet.
I can see Mench is a fan of the Pamela Anderson tattoo look
New Jersey, the only place in the world that can boast to having an accent that sounds more like horse-shitting on tinfoil than Bwaaahstyn.
Yeah those armband tatts are pretty rare. They're like the male version of the tramp stamp.
so, um, kazmir had a rough time tonight... maybe the rays will implode..?
well after our pathetic weekend series guess what team just tied us...The Yankees! Can we say 4th place...
Jordan Bwaaahstyn?
This is THE BEST. And it makes me realize how many whores I know who would probably sleep with the Joba.
It's my first night off work in approximately 324342 years, why is there no Jays? Why must I watch Tony Romo? He's such a failure.
Has anyone else noticed Reed Johnsons line post all star break 370AVG .402OBP .540SLG .942OPS
Fuck off Parkes
Why does anybody fucking care whether the Jays come 3rd or 4th? What difference does it make? You better believe Yankees fans don't give a shit about this "race."
Yankee fans do guys. It would be a great embarrasment for them to come in third. The Blue Jays did Boston some favors by losing 3 out of 4 this week and the Yanks won 2 of 3 against Tampa. That is the funny part of the game, both teams helping Boston.
BTW, the guy ragging on the New Jersey accent.....you don't know what you're talking about. A real Jersey accent is someone like Bon Jovi's, who sounds nothing like a Soprano or a Brooklynite but sounds like a Northern Rube. That real Jersey accent sounds hickish compared to that NYC accent.
You might be right. But that's the perception people have since NJ is NY's taint
This is THE BEST. And it makes me realize how many whores I know who would probably sleep with the Joba.
Who are these whores? Where are they?
"Who are these whores? Where are they?"
Stoeten would offer good money to lose his virginity
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