George Steinbrenner Loses Control
No, I'm not writing about fine motor skills. Those were likely lost a long time ago. I'm writing about some unexpected events that transpired today when baseball owners unanimously approved Steinbrenner's youngest son Hal as the controlling owner of the New York Yankees.
What does this mean?
Absolutely nothing. The two Steinbrenner sons have been operating the Yankees for the last two years as their dad stayed in Florida. The only reason this is worthy of any notice at all, excluding the chance to offer up some mockery of a frail old man, is that Hank Steinbrenner, 11 years older than Hal, has been more of the face of the franchise during these interim years.
Major League Baseball says that the change was made at the request of George Steinbrenner.
Why do I imagine something similar to that scene in Gladiator when Richard Harris tells Joaquin Phoenix that Russell Crowe is going to be the next emperor? The only thing remaining for Hank to do involves a pillow and a prostrate Steinbrenner.
Hank couldn't be reached for comment while he cried in the shower searching for new ways to win Daddy's approval.
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11 comments:
why is Doug Flutie sitting next to Hank Steinbrenner?
I thought it was Kenneth from 30 Rock sitting beside Hank Hill.
I think Hank looks a bit like George Wendt here.
But seriously, this is disappointing. Hank is endlessly entertaining. Hopefully we still get to hear him pontificating on all things baseball.
In my opinion, the best analogy for the Steinbrenner brothers came courtesy of Bob Ryan during a guest hosting appearance on PTI: Hal Steinbrenner is the quiet, smart, calculating Michael Corleone to Hank's Sonny.
I guess today's announcement is the equivalent of the toll booth scene.
who gets to be fredo in that situation?
Hal Steinfucker is probably better for the Yankees.
Hank Steinfucker is better for bloggers.
i cannot come back here until that fucking chad kroeger goof is off the site. just cant do that to myself and still sleep at night.
Fuck off Parkes, brought to you by Chadwick and the ball lickers.
It was you, Cashman. You broke my heart.
Hal was running the team behind the scenes for quite sometime now, that's been an open secret in NYC. Hank however is very entertaining in the way a train wreck is or better yet the way JP is! The things that come outta Jp's and Hankie's mouths are pure garbage.
Joanna,
George didn't raise no Fredos
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