Sunday morning funnies

Morning folks. Big hat tip to Matt English for sharing his Jays comic strips in the comments yesterday and basically giving me something to put in this post. You can check out another one here. Personally, I think they're pretty nails. Keep up the good work Matt.
I chose this one cause I'm actually fucking going to a game for a change. No shit. My brother is in town visiting from England and he was always a die-hard Jays and baseball fan. As any older brother would do, I made fun of him while I was busy playing hockey. It sucks when your younger siblings are smarter than you.
Oh right, the Jays. We fucking win! By one run! See how it feels opposition!
Of course, we can now add Cecil to the list of pitchers not feeling 100% but shit, Adam Lind does good and prevents the Jays alumni from leaving the game in disgust.
And Josh Towers was promoted to the Yankees! And then sent back down! But it sure was sweet while it lasted.
And Rios hits another dinger! Anyone else suspect that if we do trade him, the brief happiness at getting rid of his contract will come back to absolutely punch us in the nuts when he's hitting 40 dingers a season somewhere else? Rios has responded to the trade rumours. Good on him for not resorting to "Who gives a fuck?"
And just when I was about to bitch that the Dome will be closed, looks like the sun is trying to make an appearance. It's a good day!
Go Jays!
Sorry for no lineups again. Still no internet at home and I gotta be at the game early to get my Tom Henke figurine before this dude from eBay nabs 'em all.
Good day? It's a great fucking day!


207 rational and reasonable comments:
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«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 207 Newer› Newest»Have fun at the game. BTW in the same article about JT, Yanks are picking the Blue Jay game to rest Aroid. How's that for respect.
Those comics are fan-fucking-tastic. Where do I pick up a copy?
It's thundering and pouring where I am, about forty-five minutes NW of SkyDome, so I doubt the roof will be open.
Well, Millar is batting clean-up again today... So, y'know... That sucks.
http://thedirty.com/2009/08/07/dirty-exclusive-world-premiere-barry-zitos-hit-song-a-mans-gotta-do-what-a-mans-gotts-do/
WOW, can Barry Zito sing or what?
Any links to today's game ?
Interesting tidbit in that Rios story: he's currently on a career-high RBI streak. At FIVE GAMES. In Rios' career of 808 games, this is the first time he's ever managed to drive in a run in five consecutive games.
HuuHuahhh!!!
Holy Jesus fucking Christ, that Zito song sucks caribou cock. I'm almost struck dumb with wonder over how he was able to finish laying down those vocals with the guys in the booth pissing themselves laughing.
WTF's happened to Halladay recently? He looks like a plain Jane now. Should have traded him while they had the chance. I think he's on the downcurve.
OMG MARRY ME MILLAR
MILLAR!!
"Well, Millar is batting clean-up again today... So, y'know... That sucks."
Brilliant! Just fucking Brilliant, Brandon!
That replay was rad
One home run doesn't make up for a .225 average and fucking horrendous defense.
Who gives a fock?
Oh yes it does!
No, but it makes up for the one run Halladay gave up like a woman's panties at a Tom Jones concert.
Fuck Barajas.
Fuck the casbah!
Fuck the casbah!
Roy's gonna get raped.
Who the fuck is that on the mound for the Jays?
Frankly I think it`s rude to be mean to people, But I don`t care....
I don`t call them they call me.....
SCOOTS!
Also JC sounded really excited about that...
Kevin Millar hitting a home run is a disaster because it convinces Cito that hitting him 4th is a good idea and convinces the team that they should leave him on the roster.
He is .223/.301/.362 and only 6 home runs now. He is brutal defensively and now we have Edward Scissorhands at third so the job just got more important.
Why can retardi just give rios and wells away for anything and sign micheals in the off season
Then we will have a stud RF and snider can play center.
"THIS ONE TOO WILL EXIT THE BUILDING!"
If you're going to be an insufferable douchebag, at least try to make sense.
Micheals has never been good?!?
I see that both Millar and Wells hit a dinger in the same game.
WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?
JAMIE CAMPBELL SUCKS MASSIVE ASS.
Is anyone else aware of this?
Stop saying that I think they should sign Jason Micheals.
JB is talking to himself again!!! lol
These flashes of brilliance Rios and Wells have been showing the last few days are what make it so frustrating to see how good they can be if it is done over the course of a season. Of course now there is no pressure or a pennant race, so.....
Playing in toronto brings out the worste in some players.
Brent: Flashes of brilliance is what it is. A flash. You need to look at the big picture and long term especially when it comes to baseball. A good game by a player is nice, but what does he do in the long run.
JB you are as dumb as mud!
why is it so fucking bright
They need to white balance the cameras.
NOT!!!
This strike zone is tighter than...something that's really tight.
This catching situation needs to be addressed. You would think that with all the pitches they see behind the plate, they could recognize balls and strikes easier. Both Barajas and Chavez have been brutal this year. Chavez has two walks and Barajas has 14. 16 total walks from the catcher in 109 games!
MY ASSHOLE! ;)
lol - that 'Brent' wasn't the actual 'Brent', but some Ralph Wiggum-type who usually hang around here or bait or flame because they need attention. Agreed with your comment, though, JB.
"This catching situation needs to be addressed. You would think that with all the pitches they see behind the plate, they could recognize balls and strikes easier. Both Barajas and Chavez have been brutal this year. Chavez has two walks and Barajas has 14. 16 total walks from the catcher in 109 games!"
do you mind spewing your obvious-as-fuck shit all at once, so we can get it over with and not listen to you for the rest of the day?
Brent -- it is one guy who is the local board idiot. He is responsible for 98% of the anonymous comments and he posts as me, you, and others.
His baseball knowledge is poor, hates JP and is a Cito Gaston apologist. I think it is Richard Griffin.
JB you are a retard catchers are the last players in the order that are expected to produce.
See what I mean?
Yeah, a guy posts some real gems under my name as well.
MILLAR>REST OF THE LEAGUE
Now back to our catcher conversation:
Barajas is a free agent and there is no way Chavez can play everyday. What options do the Jays have? Arencibia is not hitting and if you an inexperienced catcher, he has to at least mash the ball.
JB have you ever played the game??? Because you really don't understand baseball.
I played for 20 years and my father played a year in rookie ball in the Milwaukee Braves system. No I was not good enough to even be invited to a tryout. So what does this have to do with the conversation about crappy catchers?
Idiot.
nice name drop on your father that had to play rookie ball to realise he fucking sucks, SRY NOT IMPRESSED.SHUT UP JB UR DUMB
My dad is convinced he would have made the big leagues if he knew that he needed glasses. The Braves scouted him in Nova Scotia along with 2 others and invited them to minor league camp. My old man didn't last too long. I don't think he played with anyone significant.
Hey JB, being the bat boy for slow pitch and beer league teams do not count. The Jays need to address a lot more than the catchers. What team are you watching?
my old man was clearly half retarded if he couldn't tell he needed glasses.
Is Roy fighting his legs? He seems uncomfortable. Maybe he is just pissed with the umpire.
Come on Roy, you're giving up too many damn hits.
Thanks for the hat tip! Workin' on a third comic now!
In those days ball players did not wear glasses and eye exams weren't common. Don't even talk about contacts. This was the 1950's after all!
Catching is something the Blue Jays are going to be forced to address. Barajas is a free agent and you have to sort out his value. I think it is replacement level.
IVAN RODRIGUEZ FOR '10!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wonder if jason giambi can play catcher
TALK IS CHEAP JB A LINK TO YOUR STATS MIGHT HELP PROVE YOUR NOT COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT
You're welcome Matt. Looking forward to the next one,> Good Luck
Pudge is worse than Barajas!
fine, BOBBY ABREU FOR '10!!!!!!!!! (as catcher)
JB or (fake JB) I enjoy some of the insight from you. But do you really want to stick to your claim of 20 years playing ball?
I didn't play pro, idiot. Old man did but the minor leagues are incomplete at baseball reference.
From some of your comments ,I doubt you played 20 years at any level but go ahead.I still enjoy some of your insights.
At least Fullmer's fatass isnt here taking up all the space on the message board. I'll take JB spouting his garbage over that fat asswipe.
Some guy asked me if I ever played ball. Yeah, I played ball for 20 years (6-26)! About four years rep but mostly for fun. Once I have a son, going to coach some little league I hope. :)
am i imagining things or did jason frasor flip henke the bird for the opening pitch sign lol
so does that mean you have nothing to back up your claim JB?
Gays can't have kids
OH GOD PLEASE DONT COACH, I CANT HANDLE MINI JB'S RUNNING AROUND
Fuck you james
OK smartass -- what baseball playing abilities or experience do you need to comment on the game?
Most players are uneducated buffoons and is why the game is so misunderstood.
It is fun to pass along knowledge to the kids . You'll have a blast. Just don't take it too seriously at the younger ages. I've seen to many long time players put too much pressure on them and turn them off baseball.
Please Lord, let Doc get the win today. The offense actually gave him a decent amount of run-support.
Tom heinke is fucking KOOL!!!!!
Ironically, the higher level a player goes the less pressure he puts on the kids.It's like he knows to play for the fun of it.
Of course, if my future son wants to play soccer (a game I despise) I would have no problems. You have to love something to be successful at it.
Probably explains a lot about Rios?
JB I WANT PROOF OF YOUR STATS, DATING BACK TO AGE 6
JB is alright with me, hes not afraid to get laughed at.
Hiller's due for a homer here!
...or not.
My stats since age 6:
www.baseball-reference.com/players/w/willite01.shtml
most impressive.
JB, what would you do if you were GM of the Jays?
#Anon 3:05
JB's okay at least he doesn't hide behind an ANON
KEVIN MILLAR > JB, HOW DOES TAHT MAKE YOU FEEL JB
Damage the team beyond repair...
In terms of what?
I suppose your real name is radar
IN TERMS OF PLAYING BASEBALL
All you guys seem more interested in JB's life story than the actual game. Come on, Millar!
You know who else is better than me at baseball? The entire roster of the Toronto Maple Leafs baseball clubs. That doesn't mean that any of them should be starting at first base and hitting clean up for a major league baseball team!
My secrets out. I AM RADAR.lmfao
Anon 3:05 is okay at least he doesn't hide behind a gay made up name like radar
That must be a first for Overbay = pinch running.
Gotta go. Have a good game boys.L8r.
i love these fucking stupid commentators - "it sounded like it hit him in the shirt"
Yeah, boys! Line up that W for Doc.
Jesus, look at Millar and Wells doing the basic shit they should have been executing all damn season long.
Harry Hallady has harry balls :)
Which you would gargle. For free.
Lets get Victor Martinez for catcher next year.
I wish
Do I have to ask it, or did I miss it... can't look up the line-ups due to no internet... yet you can post a threat on your website?
Seems.... conspicuous...
I hate the BOSOX but I think Epstein is the best GM in baseball.
About the gargleing harrys balls thing.
Done! Here's the new one, enjoy
http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/4563/jayscomic3.jpg
Well, after its all said and done, Edwin Encarnacion still sucks floppy donkey dicks.
Well, after its all said and done, The Toronto Blue Jays still suck floppy donkey dicks.
Matt, keep this stuff up. They're clever and funny.
The Toronto PD is far from racist, though.
C'mon man, take a series victory and the win. If we lost today to the Orioles all you fools would be wishing death upon the team and threatening suicide.
CG W for Doc! I always like me one of those!
SCARY Harry Halladay
anyone want to tell these fucktards the yankees DFA towers?
Is this a career day for Millar? 3-3 with 3 RsBI is the equivalent to 6-6 with 8 RsBI for any player with actual talent.
FUCK EM
If Rod Barajas and Jose Bautista are on this team next year, we can kiss any shot of conteding for a playoff berth goodbye. Even when our offense plays well, they're still a cancer.
Scutaro turns into a stud at 34 -- that's amazing.
Who is your choice for catcher than
JOHN MCDONALD FOR '10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Correction sexy stud at 34.
Who gives a fuck about Towers you fuckin tool? Or the Yankees for that matter. Fuck off.
Wait wait...think for a minute. The Yanks are going to DFA Towers...the Jays are hurting in the pitching department...
Pre-emptive WELCOME BACK JOSH!
Catcher is a pretty thin position.
But Barajas and Chavez are just plain old bad. Can't even get a .300 OBP.
GREGG ZAUN, BABY!!!!
It would be nice to have a stud catcher like Wieters in the system.
JP Arencibia looks like he will be the next Rod Barajas.
Keep Chavez, and go after V-Mart if the BoSox don't take up his option, which I doubt they will.
you doubt the red sox will pick up an option on v-mart?
A-Hill is such a streaky bastard.
Totally, let's sign Towers! Let's sign Delgado too when he comes up, and Eric Hinske, and let's just have a big retro throwback jack off party and wear retro jerseys every night and just celebrate all of our nostalgic memories that weren't even that good
Yeah, if they don't make the playoffs this year. Hes just a rental.
are you fucking joking?
Boooo FUCK CITO FOR RUNING DOC'S CG!!! oh and I think Benji Molina would be a good, cheap catcher.
Guys, I figured out a way to get Bonds AND Griffey and we wouldn't have to give up that much!
- Sign Bonds at the end of the season
- Sign Griffey at the end of the season
Molina is not cheap. But it is because he is a rare commodity -- a catcher who can actually hit.
Is who fucking joking?
It just goes to show how stupid JB is. Barajas and Chavez catch a great game and handle the pitchers well. You want a catcher who can handle those duties. Chavez is a good back up and they have catching help in the minors, so who cares about Barajas. Catchers like Johnny Bench are a rear breed. This is not a huge issue for them.
He'll be cheap at this stage of his career JB.
the anonymous who thinks the red sox will not pick up the option on V-MART
It just goes to show how stupid you are if you think that a .280 OBP is acceptable at any position.
Zaun had a better team ERA, FYI. After all, it is the catchers who throw the ball, right? These are one of the many baseball myths -- that a catcher can significantly make a pitcher better.
Well, if they do, lets get Varitek. They wont take up the option on both.
V-Tek would be nice, but he will want too much money.
varitek's a jew
Jesus fucking Christ, JB. Who are you? Nadir Mohammed, the CEO of Rogers? You must be Jewish.
Zaun is a steroids jackin piece of shit too
haha, anon 3:40
How bout doug mirabelli
That's all she wrote. We're only 4 games under .500 now! PLAYOFFS ANYONE?!?!?!
I can't imagine why the Red Sox wouldn't pick up VMart's option.
That being said, the Red Sox look shitty right now huh? For this baseball season, I've resorted to cheering that one of the Yankees or Red Sox won't make the playoffs.
I am not jewish, but that is a pretty poor comment about you.
I don't care about Rogers bottom line, but salary is an issue because you have to make choices where you want to allocate your resources.
VMART will test the market
I'll take the Sox over the god damn Yankees any day. Everything about that god-damn franchise makes me fucking sick. FUCK THE YANKEES.
Sandy koufax was a jew
At least the Sox had to endure an extended period of time being on the bottom. If the Yankees aren't good for 4 seasons, Steinfucker just goes out and gets the best talent money can by. Thus, illustrating my biggest fundamental problem with baseball: the lack of a salary cap.
So was Shawn Green. That's why Cito hated him.
John Henry spends a lot of money too.
They went from 81 to 94 without winning before steinfuck started to bring the zoo back.
ha ok, 13 seasons in their 110+ years of existence. Poor Yankees. douche.
Sorry - is it Vmart's option or the Red Sox's option?
Also - the Red Sox payroll this year is 133 million. Not really that insane anymore. If the Jays make good on their promise to eventually jack the payroll up to 120 mil (questionable) that's pretty much the same playing field.
Who would win in the All-Time Jew Team vs. the All-Time Canadian Team?
The jays will jack the payroll up to 120 mil the year they move from toronto.
Bautista is a jew and cito loves him
All the Zaun haters now have a catcher who hit's worse than Zaun - Huzzah!
One option for Catcher would be to buy low on Snyder in Arizona since Montero has taken his job. (Wonder if they'd like David Purcey? :D )
I remember when I was jumping up and down for David Ross last winter - he's got an OPS of .889 as the Braves back up but he's not a FA. One could take a run at trading for him though.
Among Free Agents, the best OPS is 41 year old Brad Ausmus but he's a career .670 guy so that's silly. Varitek is next, then Zaun, then Molina (who has an OBP of .276 so he's not the answer to RB on that measure)
Pudge is hitting almost exactly what Barajas is hitting
Once you get as far down the list as Molina, you might as well just have another go with Barrett and see if he can stay healthy for the whole year.
Finally, you can give up something of value (Accordo maybe?) and try to get max Ramirez or Teagarden from the Rangers...
Well at least there's some hitting going on today. Finally. Now let's keep doing that for the rest of the year and we'll be PLAYOFFS!
...
I can dream can't I?
For the record, that Zito song is... shit. Thanks to "anon-y-muss" for making my ears bleed.
I was at the game and Millar and especially Wells' home runs were not hit that hard. With the dome closed they just seemed to carry and carry. They were both hit really high. Later on with the dome open Markakis hit one to the same spot that I was sure was gone and it died at the wall.
Oh and the hotty in the 6/49 promo said she would take Scutaro out on a date if she won.
Jews + Canadians = biggest pussies of all time.
2 wins in a row !
9.5 games out of the wild card !
PLAYOFFS !
Why don't you suck my fuckin canadian cock Oberhammer!
I want my 20 cents change you fuckin' jew bastard.
I don't understand how can a girl be fat, and also be a bitch ?
DIE FAT BITCHES !
I was at the game and Millar and especially Wells' home runs were not hit that hard.
Agreed on Millar but are you fucking serious about Wells' dinger when it landed in the second deck? Christ, give your fucking head a shake.
Must have meant Scutaro's.
No, Scutaro's was a screamer, no doubt there except for the height. Wells' ball almost went into orbit. It really looked like he missed it a bit but it caught a thermal or something. I was shocked where it ended up and I have an eye for that having sat in the same seats since 1990.
I was there at field level about 90 feet from the plate. Those balls got an assist from the dead air. Also Millar's home run started and finished about ten feet of the foul line. It didn't hook at all. I attribute that to the pitcher though.
My whole point was that it was nice to see the breaks go the jays way for a change.
A long list of overdue fuck offs to a lot of fuckoffs!!
1. Fuck off to the Jays promotions department only giving away 10,000 Tom Henke figurines because if you can't make it to the park by noon at the latest, you're shit out of luck. Jesus, would it kill you to give away about 25,000 for any promotional items. Cheap fucks. No wonder Doc wants out!!
2. Fuck off to the arsehole fan wearing the Yankees cap who hoarded seven of the Henke figurines to himself and will be selling them on E-bay.
3. Fuck off Turtle Island Recycling and your stupid fucking dump truck race. One Earth, One Chance. Fuck that, the planet's going to fuck anyway.
4. Fuck off to the Super BK Fan of the Game and that annoying Batman music.
5. Fuck off to the O's for not losing Friday.
6. Fuck off to whoever decided the Jays should not wear the retro unis all weekend long!
7. Fuck off to the English wanker kids behind me in 130A for complaining about baseball being boring. Stay the fuck home, drink your fucking tea, eat your fucking crumpets, go start a fucking soccer riot and give Ireland back to the Irish! Maradona rules!!! And you all choke on the horse fucking cock at Wimbledon!
8. Fuck off to the scalper asshole in the SkyWalk bugging me to buy tickets. He's there every mother fucking game!!!
9. Fuck off to the scalper's gauntlet bugging me to buy tickets. Bunch of guido wigger motherfucking mouthbreathers.
10. Fuck off to everyone and their fucking ancestors for always trying to start the wave.
11. Fuck off to that skinny East Indian/Paki/Shit Skin coloured usher in the 500 level because he's a douche. Haven't seen him in some time this season so hopefully he quit and hung himself!
12. Fuck off Howie Starkman because he's a douche.
13. Fuck off to all fans who decide to get out of their seats when the play is going on. Can't fucking hold your water for two fucking seconds, can you ya stupid fucking Leaf fans?
14. Fuck off to the "OK Blue Jays, Let's Play Ball" crap before the first pitch. It sounds fucking gay and reeks like Roger Clemens' twat or that stupid fucking kid who was next to me at Friday's game and never heard of a haircut or shower! He was like Jacob the Twig man in Trailer Park Boys.
15. Fuck off to the assholes who wrote the Super 8 commercials!
16. Fuck off to Mike Wilner trying to invent his own language and acting like a know-it-all douche.
17. Fuck off to the music people who can't fucking figure out the proper sound levels. You've only had more than four fucking months to get this down, stupid monkeys!!
18. Fuck off to the people who put together the "Play Ball" program. The worst in the fucking major leagues and a ripoff at $5.00. Wiping my ass on it would make it a better read.
19. Fuck off to the Buffalo Bills and their stupid advertisement for a game they're going to lose this December.
20. Fuck off to Aramark and the overpriced concessions. $4.50 for a fucking bottle of pop. Jesus fucking Christ!
21. Fuck off to anyone and their ancestors who disagree with any of my cogent conclusions. Peace out motherfuckers!!
How about this addition!
22. Fuck off to Rocky the Fucking Mudhen, that retarded cartoon, that asshole mouse and that annoying cunt laugh from his cunt mouth and their fucking retarded multiple choice questions.
What's a knock?
A. A nice catch.
B. A hit
C. What I did to your mom in her cunt, ass, mouth, ear, and eye socket in every possible position and every room of your house!
ANON 11:18
Fuck off to you.
1. im that that skinny East Indian/Paki/Shit Skin coloured usher in the 500 level
2. 95% of your post was copied from the DJF guides
3. give your fucking pussy a wipe
4. fuck you
5. there are less than 25 000 people that go to the games so why give out that many souvenirs (ok somewhat of an exaggeration)
6, fuck, how many fucking times did you fucking say the word fuck in that fucking post
I was there at field level about 90 feet from the plate. Those balls got an assist from the dead air. Also Millar's home run started and finished about ten feet of the foul line. It didn't hook at all. I attribute that to the pitcher though.
Too high? Too hard? Who gives a fuck - it's gone!!!
Let's now argue about the fucking trajectory of the fucking ball. JESUS FUCKING MURPHY!!!
Fuck off to the Red Sox. I love that their fans are in complete misery. Go Rangers, go Rays!
1. im that that skinny East Indian/Paki/Shit Skin coloured usher in the 500 level
Sure you are. Good to see that that you can write real good and stuff - retard!! You're probably the same fucking prick who has like 20 Henke figurines stashed away. Good job, asshole!
suck it, by it i mean all twenty of the penises on my tom henke figurines
You've probably jammed all of the figurines up your shit hole so they can look like Paki Henke and masturbate to it all day. Except you need a tweezer to pull out your clitdick!! Go back to your country and fuck/kill yourself.
23. Fuck off to the Toronto FC and their fans for scheduling home games during Jays homestands. At least go and fucking riot like you did in Columbus well into the night instead of crowding the fucking subway or better yet, strangle yourself with those dumb ass scarfs. Nice effort against Real Madrid by the way!
Danny Suck My Dick-Yo!!!!
lol at Jacob the twig man reference.
and lol at the Vernon Wells new comic.
FUCK PAKIS!!!!
Unless your a native your family immigrated here to you fucking shit for brains.
Native? I don't think Rogers can set up internet connections in teepees. Johnny Red Boot and Tom Eagle Feather are usually out burning furniture and getting their case of beer with their welfare cheque.
24. Fuck off to the fratboys who go to all the games and yell "I love B.J.'s" and "Show us your tits". It's not funny so please go fuck yourselves.
25. Fuck off to the kids who just shriek for no reason. Now before you say I hate kids, that's not true. I do love them, when they're not around so fuck off!!
FUCK SOCCER AND FUCK KIDS AND FUCK OLD PEOPLE, GENERALLY IN THAT ORDER
I was at Saturday's game and saw one of the biggest gunts I've ever seen. Hey, lady, put on a looser fitting shirt. I'm trying to drink my watered down $10 beer and eat melty ice cream out of a plastic helmet here.
"5. there are less than 25 000 people that go to the games so why give out that many souvenirs (ok somewhat of an exaggeration)"
You take the leftovers and sell them in the Jays Shop at the Dome. You're a fucking genius. No wonder Rogers hired you, ya dumb fuck!
Great comic strip but it's missing a frame. Those two guys start punching each other out and pretend it's Opening Day all over again.
200 !
just sayin'
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