Breaking: Pujols To Be Blown By NY Media
Holy shit. Hold onto your hats, motherfuckers, because I just heard on the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball radio broadcast that, with a double in tonight's game, Albert Pujols now has three seasons in his career where he's had at least 40 home runs, 40 doubles and 120 RBIs-- and the only other person to have ever accomplished the feat is Lou Gehrig. So fucking brace yourselves for the Don Slaught of poetic articles from New York media fucks falling over themselves to suck off Pujols for matching a meaningless Gehrig accomplishment.
Because that's what happens when someone matches the Iron Horse, right? His accomplishments are so fucking beyond mortal men that media types are supposed to blow loads all over anyone who dares come close to matching the legendary ballplayer.
In fact, you know what? I was all for Will Venable's MVP candidacy until Pujols fucking displayed the pure class and winningness that it takes-- that only the classiest, winniest, clinniest and wassiest possess-- to do something that only Lou Gehrig has done. I mean come on, it's pretty fucking blow-jobbingly special, right? RIGHT???
Anyway, just warning you all, because for some reason I got the idea that matching a Lou Gehrig accomplishment warranted about 40 separate articles being written about your fucking classiness the next morning-- though, full disclosure, I can't quite fucking remember where or when I got the idea that matching a Lou Gehrig record warranted about 40 separate fucking articles being written about your fucking classiness the next morning, but... I'm sure I heard about that somewhere...
So... you know... don't bother with the sports pages tomorrow-- especially the New York ones. I can tell you right now, it's all going to be about Albert Pujols' special moment and what a great Yankee he is and how, if there's any justice in the world, he's going to finally be accepted as the greatest, most blowjob-worthy player in the history of anything. Because that's what happens when it's just you and the Iron fucking Horse sitting on the tip of Hal Bodley's penis.
Right?
Posts
84 rational and reasonable comments:
stoeten hates baseball.
Huh?
But I thought that Jeter was the best defensive SS in the AL? I mean all those earned and legitimate Gold Glove awards.
Something about the anger in this article seems somewhat disingenuous.
Something about your comment seems somewhat like you're a fucking idiot.
No, this post is pretty much bullshit.
Why would you piss on his parade?
This is what happens when the Blue Jays are 66-83, and Roy Halladay loses four times, IN ONE FUCKING SEASON, to the Tampa Bay Mother Fucking Devil Rays.
Fuck baseball.
Do you think the Ghost of Lou Gehrig is proud that his greatest legacy is having a crippling nerve disease named after him?
No, this post is pretty much bullshit.
Why would you piss on his parade?
Because it's a bullshit parade?
This was a I'm obligated to contribute to the site, but I've got fuck all to say, so I'll make a big stink about nothing so it seems like I still give a shit about baseball in 2009 type of post.
Don't get pissy Stoeten. I'm not criticizing you. I empathize. I'm looking forward to spring training too.
The Jays should sign Barry Bonds for the last 13 games. It would make for an interesting end to the season.
I don't know if this guy is pissed that you're ripping on Jeter or if he doesn't get the point of the post and thinks you're ripping on Pujols.
Nobody in the east will discuss this at any length, just like they basically ignored Ichiro last week.
Seriously, I mean, even if you're dumb enough to think it's worth giving a shit that a guy set a team record for hit, Gehrig kind of had a disease that cut his career short-- maybe you've heard of it? His last full year was at 35. Dimaggio missed three full seasons in the prime of his career because of WWII, Ruth played six or seven seasons in Boston, and Mantle was a drunk whose last year where his numbers are anywhere close to reflecting his talent was when he was 32. Seriously... it was the most ridiculous media creation basically ever. (OK, maybe not ever, but it can still seriously fuck off.)
This was a I'm obligated to contribute to the site, but I've got fuck all to say, so I'll make a big stink about nothing so it seems like I still give a shit about baseball in 2009 type of post.
Don't get pissy Stoeten. I'm not criticizing you. I empathize. I'm looking forward to spring training too.
The fucking balls on you to think you have a fucking clue that this was a "I'm obligated to contribute" post. Based on what, exactly? Shove that fucking empathy up your cunt, dickhead.
If anything it was a "We just had Griffin on the podcast and I was a big pussy, so now I'm trying to recapture my edge" post. But you couldn't have possibly known that. You're like a child who wanders into a movie...
I guess the point is, Stoeten, that this is basically an abbreviated version of that one article from the FJM Reunion last week, except without any of the funny parts, and some stuff about Albert Pujols thrown in there to make it seem different enough that you can pretend it's original somehow. I don't think your intention was to sound like a bitter douche grasping at straws for something to complain about, but that's how it came across.
By the way: if you write something, and someone calls it a piece of shit, and then you get inordinately defensive about it, that's a really good indication to the rest of us that you also think it's a piece of shit. I don't think it is, it just seems a little bit like you're trying to hard here to me - but your responses to the comments come across as a little bit of an overreaction, no?
Jeter passing Gehrig deserved mention. Like, on the scoreboard after the hit saying he was the all-time team's hit leader now. Like it would be for any other team.
I don't know why it was decided that it was a 'whole team spills onto the field' moment.
53rd on the all-time hits list (52nd now, he's since passed Alomar)! Way to go!
Were you listening to the dude's story??
Shut the fuck up Donny...
He's not pissing on Pujols' parade.
He's shitting on the semen-flavoured snow storm that's about to blanket the Eastern Seaboard with twelve pulsating inches of Yankee-fied, navel-gazing, quasi-historical drivel.
I don't think you could say one negative thing about Pujols.
I guess the point is, Stoeten, that this is basically an abbreviated version of that one article from the FJM Reunion last week, except without any of the funny parts, and some stuff about Albert Pujols thrown in there to make it seem different enough that you can pretend it's original somehow. I don't think your intention was to sound like a bitter douche grasping at straws for something to complain about, but that's how it came across.
By the way: if you write something, and someone calls it a piece of shit, and then you get inordinately defensive about it, that's a really good indication to the rest of us that you also think it's a piece of shit. I don't think it is, it just seems a little bit like you're trying to hard here to me - but your responses to the comments come across as a little bit of an overreaction, no?
You are genuinely fucking retarded. So I can no longer comment on something that someone else has already commented on? Is that it? Because guess what, genius, a lot of people have made the same comment about the media circle jerk over Jeter-- not just FJM, you clown-- so if you want to talk about a bitter fucking douche grasping at straws for something to complain about, look in the mirror, alright, dipshit?
As for my reaction to a fucking couple of idiots seeming too defensive? I can't say that I actually considered how anybody might have perceived my comments. My main concern is more whether I'm right or not. Am I? Yes, I fucking am. I'm right in saying that only a retard would try to claim that my anger about this is disingenuous-- because there is absolutely nothing to base that on except some idiot's nagging impulse to be a douche-- and I'm right in saying that you are a fucking clown for trying to claim that FJM somehow owns this opinion. You can't be dumb enough to actually believe that and still be able to actually use a keyboard, so you must only be saying so to be a fucking dick. What do you think that might say about you???
History is a funny thing, isn't it, specifically in the context of baseball? The writing of history can be machine-like, specifically with the Yankees. It is indeed obvious that there is going to be a full court press tomorrow. Obvious enough to have foregone the rant.
So will the entire Wankee team run out onto the field every time Jeter gets a hit now to celebrate the new Yankees hit record?
I sense much anger you in, Senoir Stoeten.
Fuck off Stoeten. If someone came out with a commentary ripping your God Halladay or hero Wilner, you'd be running up the walls bawling your eyes out.
God, this has to be the most stupid fucking post I've ever seen and your defence of it is even more pathetic.
If this is what the Blue Jays and the season has made you into, then close the fucking site.
The article aint about Pujols cock mouths, its about the Yankees and their evil empire. It is about having juicers win your championships for you, and possible doing it again. Its about Mohammed Nadir liking cricket more than baseball and the jays never fighting back cause they could give a shit. Its about Reed Johnson saying "Hey, I played in Toronto" in response to Milton Bradley not wanting to play in Chicago. Get it?
Holy shit, did Reed Johnson actually say that? All those ignorant douches who still shit all over Ricciardi for making that move must be crying right now. I think if you listen closely, you can hear Richard Griffin sobbing...
Stoeten, what in God's name are you blathering about?
I don't know cricket from pinocchio, but if I owned a professional cricket team, I'd be fuckin' into it. So maybe there's some hope.
^^^Totally agree with the 'owning a cricket team' sentiment, but I think in Nadir's case it'd be more like if you spent your professional carrer working your way up the ranks until you became the CEO of the biggest cell phone/internet/cable company in India, and then upon taking that position, you found out that company also owned a cricket team, which might be kind of cool except you'd be too busy worrying about cell phones, internet, and cable to actually have time to learn how the fuck cricket is played.
The Jays should make a move for Milton Bradley. Sure, I know he will miss time with an injury and be a major pain in the butt, but he does something most of this team does not do -- gets on base and hits for power.
While we all know Cito is useless as a tit when it comes to in-game managing, isn't handling a personality like Bradley something he should be good at?
He will come at a very reduced rate as I am sure Chicago will pick up a lot of his salary as long as we give them an arm.
Holy fuck pal... every time I come back here (for some reason), you get pissier and pissier.
You are tough online though, I'll give you that.
This post is Stoeten complaining about media overreaction to something in the "Overreact to Everything Because We Have ADD" Internet Age. Pointless dude.
That Anonymous reply is some douche complaining about somebody complaining because we live in the "Complain about everything anonymously because there's no risk of repercussions" age.
I'm cool with people being critical and everything but for the love of all that is holy put your name on your ideas.
Stoeten is a massive douchebag. (I say that in the most complimentary manner possible.) But at least he puts himself out there and takes on the legions of anonymous shitbags with nothing better to do than read through an entire blog and then bitch about it. And then they come back, read the next blog, and shit on it too.
If you're going to be a fuckface, put a name to the face. You fucks.
The fucking balls on you to think you have a fucking clue that this was a "I'm obligated to contribute" post. Based on what, exactly? Shove that fucking empathy up your cunt, dickhead.
Jesus fucking christ. There's so much sand in your vagina that it must be coming out of your mouth.
this is just retarded, probably the most unfunny thing i've ever read on this site, seriously
steoten's parents must be so proud
KP, just so you're aware, a stupid fucking name such as "KP" might as well be anonymous. fucking retard
Funny how there are no "anonymous douchebags" on the other Jays blogs. You think it has something to do with Stoeten taking his Bearded Wilner with Cursing persona way too seriously? You created the environment for this type of reaction with your "my opinions are fact" delusion (and BFF was also born from that same idea). You don't see Parkes or Bergkamp acting like women when they get criticized. Stoeten is the only insecure fuck in the entire Jays blogosphere who feels the need to respond to EVERY CRITICAL COMMENT as if it's an insult on his family. It's not a chicken and the egg situation when you created the environment for this yourself.
Jeter had more than 500 at-bats then Gehrig did to tie the record. So it's meaningless to me. Nice, but (yawn) meaningless.
And in the "take it with a grain of salt" dept.,there was a big in article in the Globe's business section on Nadir and he reiterated that Rogers was committed to the team.
I read the business section because of Dilbert. And I own 2 stocks that make me very little money.
And Stoeten, I still owe you $20 (or you can have one of my stocks) but I'm on the wagon for the rest of the week so you won't see me wherever.
Reed Johnson Talkin smack about TO
I came from Toronto and come here and just fall in love witht he city and fall in love with the organization.
Fucker, he can fuck off with cito
@ JB, you said something kinda nice about Cito Dorito, the dunderhead? Is that you or the evil JB AKA Job Blow from Saskatoon?!!!Hopefully they will get rid of that moron and get guys like Figgins, Bay or Abreu. Fuck Stilton Bradley, he's a cancer in the clubhouse. I grok the fact that you want him for free BUT why waste a roster spot on MB AND hopefully Doritohead is outta here as well.
True Blue, Jays Fan
PS The IT(Stoeten) hate is extreme. yes, he sucks up to Psych Wilner and steals his lines and is not very witty and uses dipshit and immature curse words from grade school like other people use the word AND, BUT can he fucking be sacrastic for once? Yes, It is his own worst enemy BUT can you cut him slack just this one time? Yeah, he is a fallen Aryan and he is wrong about JP the Retardi, Dorito the Cito and most everything else...BUT not this! and what the fuck is he gonna talk about? How Psych Wilner was wrong about the team this year. Or how JP Retardi is full of shit? as much as I have issues with It(Andrew Stoeten), he had an interesting post going. Then again a blind squirrel finds a nut every once and awhile too!
fml
I should read comments above before I say things
stoeten go find a man at that fag bar Rhino and go get fucked up the ass
I agree with JB about Bradley. He's one way the Jays could get a good hitter at a discount.
Douchenkrantz, thing is, you have absolutely nothing to base your opinion on. You don't like it, fine, but don't tell me what was in my head when I was writing and then act like you're enlightening us with some grand insight. You were asking to get shit on, and you got it. Happy?
As for the rest of these clowns, if it fills some void in their lives to pretend to hate this site even though they come here constantly, I guess that's fine. You'd think they'd get bored of it, but I guess they're really that fucking pathetic. I don't know how many times I can say it without it resonating with these morons, but I guess comprehension of words is probably too much of me to ask of them. Douchenkrantz, want to use your powers of getting in my head to see if there's anything else left in there for me to say about these fucking shit stains?
Bradley has one season with more than 126 games played. Unless he's coming off the bench, I don't want him.
Also kind of pathetic: letting anonymous commenters on the internet actually bother you that much.
He might be motivated too. Some people start to mature at 18, maybe Bradley matures at 32. I wasn't trying to say anything nice about Cito, but surely there must be some use for him if he is the manager in 2010. Perhaps it could be to straighten up Milton Bradley. Then again, Cito could really screw up the situation and decide that Snider would be Bradley's backup.
I don't think a 32 year old who just got suspended by his team for the season is gonna straighten up, ever.
Yes he has problems with injury and attitude but he is a damn good hitter. Damn good.
I think the Blue Jays said that when the passed on Josh Hamilton at the rule 5 draft.
I'd be more interested in Kila Ka'aihue from KC. He's stuck behind like 35 1B in their system and we need a 1B. Brad Mills for Kila?
Uncomfortable close-up of Kila: http://royals.mlblogs.com/kaaihue%20kila_004.jpg
Also kind of pathetic: letting anonymous commenters on the internet actually bother you that much.
Maybe. But not anywhere close to the same ballpark of patheticness.
I would still prefer Bradley. This is assuming the Cubs eat most of his contract.
Kila is 25 and has barely cracked a MLB lineup.
Bradley for Wells. Done.
Kila is 25 and has barely cracked a MLB lineup.
Probably because of those 1B I was talking about (Jacobs, Butler, Shealy) and I have no idea why they even got Jacobs in the first place. That said, Jacobs expires this year so Kila probably takes his spot at DH next year. It would probably take more than Mills to get him.
"Stoeten is the only insecure fuck in the entire Jays blogosphere who feels the need to respond to EVERY CRITICAL COMMENT as if it's an insult on his family. It's not a chicken and the egg situation when you created the environment for this yourself."
I've been barking up this tree for months. I bet half the people chirp him just to see what kind of reaction you can get (even though everyone knows it's going to be "shut up fuckface. You are pathetic this, and pathetic that. You have no life pathetic pathetic etc.)
While I'm here I'll give it a shot:
Hey Stoeten, you are a dumb-dumb stupid head lololololool!!!!1
"Maybe. But not anywhere close to the same ballpark of patheticness."
Patheticness? Where'd you get that word, from the Wilner dictionary of made up words that are supposed to be funny but are just lame? You should just go all out and say patheticosity.
Yeah, I'd have responded to the comment you're quoting-- there were some interesting points-- but it was pretty hard to take seriously once he got deep into the same old tired horseshit all the other anonymous idiots pull (sort of like the weak ass comment between this one and the one by A. Nonymous, Esq.), plus the deliberate misrepresentation. But sure, I have some responsibility here, absolutely, but to put it all on me and not, I don't know... the morons who come here constantly just to troll? It's a bit ridiculous.
And don't act like you don't know full well that my comments about these trolls being pathetic are in response to specific people who are here doing the same thing over and over constantly for months. I've said it before: I'm sorry, I just can't believe that there are more than only a couple of people who would choose to waste their time that way. If there are more people than just a few doing this, that's just... fucked.
Sorry to sound like a broken record sometimes, and I'm sorry if you actually believe that I'm responding to all negative criticism with name calling, not just the completely unfounded jealous troll criticism, but I'll absolutely discuss or take genuine criticism, it's just, I'm not going to let this other horseshit slide.
Does that make it worse? Possibly, but I think these clowns would be writing "fuck off parkes" seventy times in every post if there wasn't some other target out there for them, and I'm not going to just abandon the comments to them, because I enjoy the discussion with the people who aren't fucking mental defectives. I keep thinking that throwing the fact that they're fucking pathetic-- because I think we can all agree, they are-- back in their faces might actually make them think, "hey, I really am using my time in the most pointless fucking possible way ever conceived by man", but I guess you're right, it only emboldens them-- because they really, genuinely, don't have anything better to do. But... yeah, for now I'm going to keep on calling people out when they're completely full of shit-- especially when they're pathetic trolls criticising for no reason except to be a shit in my cut and because for some reason they have no better way to amuse themselves. If this bothers you, you can just scroll past it.
You guys should give A True Blue Jays Fan his own weekly column. His ravings make this bullshit horrorshow of a season seem less real.
"Bradley for Wells"
I don't know if the Cubs would take that. I think there's about $23 million left on his contract. I imagine that the Cubs are probably going to have to eat most of that. Is Wells' contract overvalued by more or less than $23 million? Sure they get rid of a dink and get a genuinely nice guy who does good stuff for the community, but I think they might be giving up more than the $23 million. They'll probably just dump him and take the whole loss.
I'd love to see the Jays make that trade though. They could do it and Bradley could go join Delucci in May '10.
Stoeten,
Your shit is straight up funny, and insightful. It is hard to find good insight from fellow Canadians when it comes to Ball. I disagree with your hard on for Overbay, and I am just finding out about your relationship with Wilner here which is also disappointing but that`s ok, I can live with it. I have many friends both in the US and Canada who have enjoyed your blog postings which I have shared. Try not to get too bogged down in the blog wars and keep your shit tight. gmoneystyles
With Lyle's ability to mash righties and his great defense, how could anybody like the guy?
Are people still having problems with Overbay? He is one of the only guys on the team that avoids getting out.
Instead of Bradley maybe TBJ should sign Mench, Wilkerson, Dellucci, Clayton and Eckstein this winter.
Why would you lump Eckstein with those cluster fucks? Eckstein performed exactly as expected at the plate (.277/.354/.358).
Overbay's good. His inconsitency (streakiness) drive me nuts, but what are you going to do?
A True Blue, Jays Fan shouldn't you be reading mein kampf or something?
But don't you think the trolls constantly come because it's fun for them to see you all riled up?
I'm not saying abandon the comments, I'm just suggesting you might spare yourself the headaches if you stopped responding to the trolls and indirectly encourage them.
I think pathetic is a great way to describe the anonymii(uh oh, I made up a word! I must suck Wilner's cock!) who shit all over everything. I used to love this blog, and the comments section was great. There were disagreements, and lots of creative profanity. Good stuff. Now, while I still check in every day, I rarely click on the comments, and am always disappointed when I do. Just a shit show nowadays.
Seriously though, I've been reading this blog for a long time. People disagree with Stoeten on a regular basis, and he doesn't lose his shit over it. He's fine if someone's called him a motherfucker as long as they support their argument, or calls him a motherfucker for the right reason. He loses his shit and gets worked up when the anonymii(or posters acting like them) pipe in. It's your fault though, Stoeten, because that's what the trolls want. They want attention. Their mommies and daddies don't give them any(and they obviously don't have girlfriends) so this blog is their outlet. Ignore, or start deleting comments, that's my suggestion.
If people say "That's so Gay" when they insult something why don't they say "That's so straight" when they want to compliment it? What if something isn't really as BAD as being gay, would you say "That's bisexual" or "That's transgender" or even "That has closet crossdressing tendencies"?
"Bradley for Wells. Done."
I think you mean...
"Motherfucking cocksucking Bradley for fucking fuckface Wells."
Whats this? a decent article on DFJ that doesn't involve them bitching about the jays and endless snide remarks that got old 5 minutes after you first started saying them? its been so long.....
Thanks for that wonderful rant, JB. I'm also a queer man in a relationship with a guy, and I can't believe, sometimes, how restrictive it feels in terms of me being accepted as queer.
A. Nonymous, Esq: I'd just like to congratulate you on being in a loving committed relationship with another man. It's really straight, and I think JB would agree.
Now how 'bout a round of Kumbaya?
Stoeten sucks MEGABALLZZZZZ
This blog is getting pathetical (Double Wilner score!). And Stoeten, let's face it, you're not helping. We used to have some great debates in these parts but the crazies continue to squeeze the life out of every thread. I find myself going to Batters Box and other prissy clean establishments to read some good Jays talk, and I hate that. I really fucking hate that. Solitary tear
Jesus Christ, at least go to Ghostrunner.
Agreed with SP, I didn't start checking out the comments on this site until a couple months before things started getting out of hand, but this was one of the best places for baseball talk I'd found anywhere at the time. I've been mostly staying away from the comments section for a good while now, and that's just unfortunate.
Stoeten, I understand why you feel the need to respond to the trolling, but I think doing so causes two big problems: first, like everybody else said, it seems to encourage the trolls, but more importantly, it really takes the focus off of the real discussion.
Remember back in school, there was always that one teacher who was flipping out and yelling at kids to be quiet, and they always had the loudest, most obnoxious class in the school because they contributed to that environment and therefore had no authority over it? That's kind of what this feels like sometimes, and I think you'd probably be better off just ignoring it.
Instead of responding them with hostility, why not just resolve to ONLY reply to the actual good comments? Not only would you stop adding fuel to the fire, but you'd also be adding more things to legitimately discuss rather than just taking the discussion even further down the bullshit road the trolls are trying to take it on.
Yeah, or I might just check out of this cesspool for a while...
Good.
Post a Comment