Reminder: This Is Why I'd Like To Firebomb Yankees Fans
Hey look, some dickless fuckface is trolling for attention from the pages of his campus newspaper.
Allow me to bite.
According to Chris Monahan's immense proclivity for stupidity, the Toronto Blue Jays do not belong in Major League Baseball.
I first conceived this idea to restructure Major League Baseball a few weeks ago. I had this fear of my New York Yankees, the best team of the regular season, falling victim to a lesser team that got hot at the right time. (Luckily, this year the two best teams, in my opinion, came out on top, but that’s not the point.)
After our mass exile, Major League Baseball will be left with 24 teams, two leagues and four divisions (East and West in each league). Here are the teams getting the boot and why.
Toronto Blue Jays: Sorry, there will be no more Canadian baseball in my league. The Blue Jays have been a relatively successful team since its inception and this was one of the harder teams to cut. Two World Series titles are better than a lot of teams. But baseball will always be secondary to hockey in this town. In a world of the Red Sox and Yankees, the Blue Jays will never get over that hump. This is a team in transition and things could soon head down hill.
Thank you, Chris, for sharing your opinion. Now, if you'd kindly crawl back to your mother's vagina, have a cunt to cunt conversation, convince that disgusting mound of ground beef that the world would be better off if you slithered your way back from whence you came . . . I think most of us, especially those closest to you, would be extremely grateful.
Thanks again,
Dustin
Posts
100 rational and reasonable comments:
"The Blue Jays have been a relatively successful team since its inception ... two World Series titles ..."
Followed by
"In a world of the Red Sox and Yankees, the Blue Jays will never get over that hump."
=
I hate everyone. Especially stupid cunting Yankees fans.
San Antonio Blue Jays
I was in NYC last weekend, the day after they won. All of the stereotypes are true. All of them.
God, that photo... it's like Hell just shat on Earth.
There he goes again with the "I want to fuck my mother." Dustin Parkes you need a psychiatrist.
If MLB contracted every team that lived in a city where baseball wasn't #1 [for reasons of hockey, other sports] there would only be half the teams.
I also don't understand his "arguments" for dumping eight teams [it seems as though his single criterion was "teams that he thinks are fucked for the next 3-4 years, regardless of long-term future"] and then randomly adding Las Vegas and Louisville.
Can't believe I even wasted time getting mad about this.
Average Attendance in 1992:
Yankee Stadium = 21,589
SykDome = 49,732
Blue Jays win World Series.
Average Attendance in 2009:
New Yankee Stadium = 45,918
Rogers Centre (aka SkyDome) = 23,162
Yankees win World Series.
Winning teams are the key to attendance. The numbers above would tell you that the Blue Jays are just as supportive (if not more) than the Yankee fans are.
What, now we're taking offense to what a blogger in the mighty STONEY BROOK INDEPENDENT is saying about our team? Yeah you know, that shining beacon of mass influence and opinion-sharing, yeah THAT Stoney Brook Independent, thats the one. Who cares? Probably neither of his two readers do, why should you? Who was going on & on about the complete absurdity of net-based rumors and idle source-less speculation, just the other day? While I go back & check on that, I suggest you take a valium and get your blood-pressure checked out, maybe stay off the interweb for the rest of the day too. Sheesh.
To say that the Orioles have good young talent compared to the Jays is ridiculous. The Orioles aren't any better and/or closer to competing than the Jays. Toronto is a huge market. MLB would be fools to get out of it. What are Toronto sports fans supposed to do in the summer? Cheer for the Argos? HA!
Also, moving the Astros from Houston (which has a population of about 5.7 million) to Louisville, Kentucky (population less than a million) and moving Oakland to Las Vegas? I have a hard time believing that Vegas will see ANY professional sports team there. I really don't believe there's enough people to buy season tickets. Relying on tourists for your ticket sales is too risky. Sure the casinos will probably buy some season tickets and give them out as complimentary tickets to guests but I have a hard time seeing actual residents of the area buying tickets.
Why not just get rid of the Pirates too? The Pirates have struggled for so many years and he doesn't have them on the cut list.
There aren't any concrete arguments this guy provides to consider contracting the teams he mentions. I dubbed thee Ken Rosenthal Jr..
Wait till you hit the blogsphere with Yankees fans trading Joba and or Huges for Halladay and a level a prospect.
Hell they will even try to convince the world that Halladay isn't that good and the Yankees would be doing the Jays a favor.
Chris is a winner.
As much as I hate to agree with the anonymous fucktards, I fear I must. This is pretty inocuous coming from a 20 year old virgin writing for the campus paper (with a circulation probably around 20 000) at his second-rate state university. I read equally stupid things in CUP papers on the reg, but I don't feel they're worthy of getting my blood pressure up over, yanno?
now that was a quality blog right there....
Shouldn't they be called the Louisville Sluggers?
That whole article made me facepalm. Wow!
Plus he cuts the Marlins, whose organization has won two World Series and has developed much of the major talent around the league. Including the Yankees' emotionally spastic # 2.
So, fuck you, Chris.
Hey everyone! Chris Monahan here. Glad you enjoyed reading my blog! In all seriousness though, the blog I wrote should really not be taken that seriously. It came about after a conversation I had with a friend. MLB will never contract teams let alone 6. Its just my wild imagination running out of boredom. your right, I'm just a student (yankee fan) at a normal university trying to get some people talking. Looks like I accomplished that. No need to get all heated. I respect the toronto franchise and they're good for baseball. I welcome your criticisms. After all, I am a student journalist and still learning. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my mother's vagina.
And not all yankee fans are dickheads. I do admit however there are tons of these bandwagon pricks who come out of no where when the yankees win it all. Don't judge the whole fan base by these idiots.
Lesson 1: Op-ed isn't journalism.
(Or something like that.)
Its just one guys opinion. Blow habs blow
-Monahan
i had no idea the blue jays had fans until i came across this site. carey price sucks....go yankees
wow this website is poorly named. it should be called stupidjaysfans.com. especially you dustin whoever the hell you are, getting all heated about a blog from a suny school web site. give it a rest. i don't know if you realize this but this kid doesn't have the power to contract 6 baseball teams so don't worry, you're safe. i understand that you guys don't have much to talk about since the trade deadline came and went but enjoy your hockey season! jason blake is sooooooo good.......
Wow. Someday you'll find the Caps button on your Mom's keyboard. And the website should be called stupidlydrunkjaysfans.com but it isn't, so fuck off.
if i cared enough i'd use the shift key asshole
Well, you can't really blame Jays (or Raptor) fans for being defensive. They're the only Canadian teams in their leagues, plus they play in a city with a retardedly over the top hockey coverage.
But I think this guy was just goofing around.
mr. speaker, was it not the honourable member from cunt valley who suggested that we all wear kansas city jerseys to the ball ballpark during latest djf podcast? he thinks that it's okay to sully the good name of a franchise that he thinks is hopeless and our good neighbours from the south can't do the same?
for shame mr speaker.
How dare you insult Jason Blake on a Toronto Blue Jays fan site, sir! That is simply not on!
This is retarded. I can't believe a baseball team actually pays money to put the best team on the field year after year! I mean, why can't we all be like the Blue Jays and suck immensely? Worst Worst Worst. Fold the Maple Leafs, too. Oh wait, nevermind. I'm sure the rest of the NHL appreciates the free points they get from destroying Toskala and the "Monster".
LET'S FUCKING DO THIS REDS!!!!! OAKLAND REPRESENT, WHATUP?!?!
Fuck off Parkes
hey, this was not a situation in which this chris monahan demanded the Jays be contracted, it was just a fan suggestion in order to increase real competetive balance in the league. The fact is the Blue Jays have been bad for a long time, are in a city that they will always be 2nd class citizens, play in a ballpark that is outdated, and are run by idiots who can't take down signs of players after they are traded. The only time toronto has decent attendence is when all of those doucebag yankees fans you hate so much take the time to drive to that dump of a stadium and fill the stands.
I also love that Dustin has so much time on his hands that he looks through the internet to find out what people are saying about his beloved Jays. This is a campus newspaper on Long Island, don't you have something better to do like a job or something.
I know Chris Monahan and he is the fucking man so fuck off!!!! Lets Go Yankees! and Lets go Rangers!!!!
That is his job. To search out the morons of the world and their friends - like you.
"...play in a ballpark that is outdated" - yeah, it's not your overpriced, easy homerun to right toilet, but we can watch baseball when it's raining! And so can you when you follow your douchebag team here!
I don't know him. I hate the Yankees. I love the Jays but I will agree that Dustin is the bigger douche here for posting this crap to begin with. You suck dude
Spell check. Find it.
It's the "Stony Brook Independent."
It's one man's opinion. If it were a Pirates fan, you wouldn't care. Kindly take your buckets of fail and find a day job.
Does anybody besides me have a really hard time sleeping lately knowing that Patrick Swayze is no longer surfing and robbing banks as an ex-president?
someone needs to get their dick rubbed you lonely whiny stuck up Canadian fuck...sorry your team and your country blow dick. you Canadian basterds are so pathetic i dont know where to begin...well here's a list basically saying FUCK YOU
1) its Stony Brook learn how to read eh?
2)drunkjaysfans.com...HOW GAY! ahahaaa you guys are pathetic
3) it was a fucken random blog with a half serious idea not a proposal to the fucken mlb you douchbag quit bein so emotional you on your period or somethin?
4) FUCK YOU FUCK CANADA!!! you know your country wouldnt be shit if we weren't below you so shut the fuck up and be thankful no one fucks with the U.S.!!!
5)to other random canadian inbreds: not gettin rid of the Marlins...CHILD PLEASE! that was a no brainer only time they draw enough people to seat in the upper deck is when they play the yankees...and makin fuck of a college kid writin a fucken blog cause its what he likes to do...you grimey piece of shit who the fuck are you to tell him what to do..and then act like you some kinda journalism major givin him rules and shit...op-ed aint journalism...yea well you're not journalism you fucken dick! at least this mother fucker is in college bet half you retarded canadians just chop wood and play with your dick all day you lil retards
6) why so much hatin on the Yankees and new york?! not our fault everythin about canada sucks and we shit on the jays every year... FACE IT WE"RE BETTER
7)NY is the best fucken place on the planet in the best fucken country on the planet we known world round there's no touchin the Yankees or our city so EAT SHIT!
8)i wish i could punch every little fagget ass canadian pussy blogger on here right in their ovaries..find somethin other to do than read a college kids blog and have a mid life crisis over it...you are pathetic which brings me to number
9) FUCK YOU DUSTIN! you make me wanna fly up to that shithole you call canada, which i refuse to capitalize anymore cause its so worthless, and stick my huge new york cock down your throat so you would just stfu
10) last time i checked the Yankees are WS Champs so a-deal with it pussy and b-suck it niceee!
11) BLUE JAYS don't even exist in Toronto! you fucken morons do some goddamn research before you name your team that...there arent even any bluejays in that part of canada
12)CANADA sucks ahahaaaa all these canadian faggets blogging can go cry themselves to sleep or hang themselves cause you can bitch and hate NY all you want cuz it just makes us laugh at you guys even harder ahhahaaa!
13) even your hockey teams blow dick fuck you the Rangers will trash any canadian COCKey team
WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY LAST POINT I HOPE I RUINED YOUR BLOG AND I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT NEXT DICK YOU SUCK AND DIE
-YOUR MOTHER
It's not so much that the franchise is bad, it is because the city of toronto has a combined iq of 7 and is known as canada's urinal cake from everyone pissing on them the last 10 years.
yea Gordon tell 'em....suck it Toronto! and fuck you Dustin!
seeing how parkes is putting up shitty posts, i say that the winner of the hit new show on the score Drafted be brought on board to platoon. kinda how gibbons got the most out of rios when he had to share right field with hinske.
dustin we all know you have natural talent. everyone says your gonna be the next big thing. you just got to try harder and do less blow.
"BLUE JAYS don't even exist in Toronto! you fucken morons do some goddamn research before you name your team that...there arent even any bluejays in that part of canada"
Hey everyone, we have a winner of the "Fucking-Retarded-and-Typically-Geographically-Challenged-American-Fuckwad-Award."
Everyone applaud!
Hey everyone, we have a winner of the "Fucking-Retarded-and-Typically-Geographically-Challenged-American-Fuckwad-Award."
Everyone applaud!
thats the best you can come up with after he ripped your country without mercy? wow...
http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/9413/lmaoes.jpg
looks like that kid was right...i guess even the blue jays are smart enough not to live in that shithole...guess you can stick that award right up your ass
"thats the best you can come up with after he ripped your country without mercy? wow..."
Is that the best YOU can come up with? If so, go fuck yourself.
hey whiffleballs you limp dick mother fucker if i wanted a comeback i woulda told your mom to spit....now stfu and go hang yourself unless you have somethin to say other than that useless comment...fucken idiot...cant believe you even said that you canadaians are dumber than i thought...fucken unbelieveable you 2yr olf fuck
Anon 7:10, You're much more talented with MS Paint and a mouse than I expected for someone from a mentally deficient place like New York. You must be among the gifted New Yorkers.
my god wiffleballs you're such a fuckin tools. the kid lists 13 reasons why canada sucks and you respond by calling one of them bullshit when it isn't. you should have been a blowjob.....what a waste of life.
7:10's post was awesome. Somehow blue jays migrate up the West coast of the US into Alaska and along the East coast into Greenland without ever entering Canadian air space. Hrm... good thing we told those birds to stay clear of the no-fly zone that is the second largest country on earth. I'm no ornithologist (go on, look it up before you respond), but that don't seem right, eh, ya hoser.
Every anti-Canadian or pro-Yankee post in these comments proves why we Canadians don't need to respond. You're the douche bags we laugh at when we think of your country. We don't even need to respond to your bullshit to redeem ourselves, you're doing it for us.
Why don't you all just go invade some country without an air force, crash the global economy, and invent a new fast food chain with over-sized 'sodas' to fit in your shitty, domestic, gas-guzzling clunkers' over-sized cup holders, and leave us alone. Or would you prefer we discuss a team of yours... like say... the Knicks?
6:31 (and i assume 7:20) Anonymous.
Go fuck yourself. I could go ahead and rip your 6:31 post three new assholes and a fresh vagina, but it's not worth the time. We could argue about this for days. The whole time I'd be right, I'd be classy, I'd be sensible. And you would nay-say every point I make just because it's built into your self-centred Yankee top-of-the-heap douchebaggery. So I'm going to stay over here, you can stay over there and we'll both be happy.
The United States is not the best country in the world. New York is not the best city in the world. Both choke the pole but your eyes are too full of each others' taint to realize that nobody has any respect for you.
DJF: props for the international shitstorm. I like it.
I see bluejays all the time in Toronto and in the surrounding area. Is this guy for real? Geez.
6:31 anon.
hahahahahahaaaaaa wow you're a douche.
I heard Dustin has a really small penis.
Bunch of internet tough guys trolling the blog tonight huh? Well faggit bring that big mouth to the dot and see how long you last bitch! You'll get somthin broke off for Ya real propper like bitch....Ya Dun Know
Hahahahahha fag. Blue Jays suck. Have fun getting out from under the festering steamer that is Vernon Wells albatross of a contract. Hahahaha. Yankees 2009 World Champions. Go Yanks.
I just baked fresh cookies for all you little boys, so take your penis out of the printer and enjoy!
The jays owners Net income is $811.7M a year you fake crumb, Don't think we got any problems payin wells a measly 20M a season
Got to love these rational and reasonable comments!
Couple of things:
- Dustin is a synonym for virgin
- I'll tell you all what this argument is all aboot (yes, aboot). First off, Canadians are the autistic younger brother of the US. We run the table while Canada licks the glass window at the local diner. What has Canada done? Ever? You can take Alanis Morisette back (Ryan Reynolds too)
- Does it hurt knowing you have no good sports teams, Canaduh? Last time a Canadian-based team won a Stanley Cup was 92-93. Last time for a World Series? Same. Nobody likes you, Canada. We just have you around to make us feel better about ourselves.
- All Dusty did was complain, excuse me, bitch and moan, about why Mr. Monahan was wrong. Did he bring up any evidence as to why Toronto should be kept in baseball? He tried using colorful language to prove a point, but the only point he proved was that he has nothing important to say.
Thank you, and God Bless America, not Canada.
Babe Ruth (The messiah of your scum fuck yankees) hit his first home run in toronto you stupid piece of shit! LOL
What has Canada ever done?
List of canadian athletes
http://particle.physics.ucdavis.edu/Canadians/athletes.html
List of canadian actors
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Canadian_actors
List of canadian musicians
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Canadian_musicians
Keep licking the glass, Canaduh
http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/blog/images/20070424_torontosuks.jpg
I bet nobody has ever honked at that sign. Ever.
sometimes I criticize the drunk's writing, but this article was beautiful
The Blue Jays are the New York Islanders of the MLB. Once a player leaves they become successful.
TSN.CA reports that Dustin has been caught on security cameras blowing the Labatt Blue bear outside of the Rogers Centre. The security guard who captured this incredible footage was none other than Vernon Wells, who has also volunteered to help Roy Halladay move to a winning team.
Dustin sucks at life!!!
Dustin is a homosexual
that list of actors and musicians is on my shit list! tupac biggie jayz will smith denzel washington samuel l jackson...all from AMERICA...so shut the fuck up put another dick in your mouth and crawl back to your little shit hole you fucken pussy ass retards...cant even come up with one thing you're good at plus you're not funny.....and Dustin has the biggest balls of them all rippin on a kids blog n then hiding in his cunt of a mothers clit...nice job proving our point that you're a buncha retarded pussies!!!
I see the Yankee fans have finally gotten the courage to crawl out of the hole they've been hiding in for the past 9 years.
Hey where were you guys last year when your pathetic excuse of a 209 million dollar team didn't even make the playoffs? Yeah that was a fitting ending to that dump of a stadium.
But that's okay, you can still feel comfort in knowing that half of this year's Yankee team was part of the greatest chokejob in baseball history ... the only team to ever lose a postseason series after leading 3 games to none.
How did it feel to watch another team and it's fans take over Yankee Stadium and NYC? Oh that's right, you didn't get to see it because you were still hiding in your hole.
and look at all your GUIDES in the righthand column.....god your pathetic i dont think anyone even has to say anything for you mother fuckers to realize how sorry your lives are..you guys know you suck this site says it all so stop bein a buncha angry drunk retards and maybe pack your bags and move to a real country!
Weirdest.
Thread.
EVER.
anonymous pussy 12:12...your comment doesnt even merit a response you probably werent alive to see your team win a WS and i saw twice as many WS victories by the time i was in 5th grade than your team has even won so stfu right now....27 world series you inbred canadians prob cant count that high cause you only got 20 fingers and toes you fucken moron...more than any other sport team period...not even an argument suck my dick how dare you even try n go there...make the playoffs this decade then talk
-YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
be thankful no one fucks with the U.S.!!!
9-11 ring a bell? Just sayin'!
how fucken dare you hope you rot in hell you piece of shit
rather side with a buncha terrorists than new yorkers, you have your priorities in order...
Anonymous fucken is illiterate. He can't spell fuckin' right unless he's fucking Ken (see what I did there?) and he gets upset when he's proven wrong about no one fucking with the U.S.
What a fuckwad cat dick!! Fuck off, you A-Rod Jeter loving fuckhead! See you in hell!
Still the greatest headline in the history of newspapers:
http://www.americanpressinstitute.org/images/daily_news_choke.jpg
ITT: Trolls
Hey America, we kicked your ass in 1812.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_1812
Sincerly, Canada
There could literally be nothing dumber than arguing whose country is better.
especially when your country is Canada...war of 1812 lmao god damn you're pathetic i cant believe this dude is serious he has to be joking...take a look in a mirror guy maybe you'll realize how FUCKEN lame you are
Best DJF thread ever? MAYBE!
It's a shame this guy wasn't in one of the World Trade Towers.
STOP SPELLING FUCKING WRONG YOU ILLITERATE PIECE OF DONKEY SHIT.
GO FUCK YOURSELF....DUSTIN HAS PROVED HE IS NOTHING BUT A GIANT SET OF LABIA LIPS AND YOU CANADIAN FUCK-UPS HAVE PROVED HOW FUCKEN PATHETIC YOU ARE AND HOW WORTHLESS YOUR COUNTRY IS
Get a life you inbred baby dick american
Anon 4:57. That's low class man. As heated and hillarious as this thread is that's crossing the line in a big way. 9/11/01 was a dark day in world history not just the US. Many innocent people lost their lives. It has no bearing on baseball or who has the better country between the US and Canada (which is dumb to begin with) or whatever you guys are debating now. You must be a miserable, uneducated and misguided person to type out that sentence on your keyboard. I feel sorry for you. This will be my last visit to this website...Go Jays!
respect to anon 6:07...95% of these other test tube babies can go suck a dick
Author of this blog got trolled.
Hard.
8/10
Dustin -- chill the fuck out, man. The guy is entitled to his opinion.
The continent is called "North America" for a reason. America. Canada is just a tumor on the northern border of the greatest country in the world.
Dusty needs to get the sand out of her vagina. Please do not complain about a team that pays to put the best team on the field. If the Blue Jays had the money, or the dynasty, they could do the same. They do not. Do you expect the Yankees to stop because they have too much money? Get a life, stop complaining about New Yorkers and their respect for one of the greatest sports teams ever, and stick to what you do best: attempting to be funny on your blog.
Summary - New York sucks, America sucks! Let's move on and go fuck yourselves.
Finally buying a championship after nearly a decade of grossly outspending every other team year after year with nothing to show for it doesn't make the Yankees one of the greatest sports teams ever, it makes them one of the most pathetic sports teams ever.
"The continent is called "North America" for a reason."
Yeah because my paisano Amerigo Vespucci discovered two continents and ours was the northern most of the two, sei un idiota.
27 championships more than any other team in any other sport...sure seems pathetic to me...fucken inbred canadians
and anon 10:13 i dont speak canadian cause i'm not a retard...sorry
Your shit country got rich from slavery you fucking moron! LOL Now there's a country to be proud of!! & Your country is founded and still run to this day by parasites and sheeple like you are to fucking stupid to even realize it. Oh by the way the Montreal Canadiens have 24 championships shit for brains.
^^^ Not helping our cause with his ignorance, we had slavery too.
The only difference is our slaves worked in houses instead of plantations.
^^^We were Under British rule at that time & We never got rich from it like the US did retard!
How I love America... our first amendment is the freedom of speech and that was definitely exercised here. Although I am impressed by Dustin's ability to successfully use the word "whence" and still get respect from his Canadian compatriots. I also enjoyed how a clean cut, well compiled blog post turned into a Canadia...n form of George Carlin's 7 Dirty Words. Thanks to the aggravated posters in this forum I will forever associate the Toronto Blue Jays with asshole, vagina and mounds ground beef.
Get a life
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