Boners Up: DJF 2009 Podcast #27 (Guest: Will Hill)

Here it is, the first podcast of the post-Ricciardi era. Yes, we’d mentioned a couple times about having Keith Law on as soon as JP was shitcanned, but he was too professional to pile on so quickly—which, I think you’ll agree, is fair. I’m sure we’ll chat with him again sometime soon.

We do, however, have the awesome Will Hill, the Jays former director of Guest Services and Fan Experience, who, in addition to being a great source about Parkes’ whole Jerseygate situation, is familiar with the whole front office scene down there.

Will now shares his insight on the Jays and baseball for TSN, and this morning published a profile of his friend Alex Anthopoulos, who he believes was a good lieutenant for JP Ricciardi, following the boss's orders, whether or not he agreed philosophically with the way Ricciardi managed the club. In it Will also shares, as he did with us, how Paul Beeston has been mentoring Anthopoulos, which began even before the Beest was named interim president. I’d suggest giving it a read, and having a listen to what Will has to say, and then giving some consideration to the fact that Anthopoulos is his own man—because I know this is a point of concern for a number of Jays fans, but, I mean, do you think exactly the same as your boss?

Speaking of Anthopoulos, I know I half-jokingly ripped him the other day for being unambiguous about Cito’s future—I mean, seriously, I know people love Cito and it would be bad PR to shove his ass out the door, but is it any less of a PR win if he’s with the organization in any other capacity? Why does he have to be the manager?—but he certainly sounded more reassuring when he spoke to Landry and Stellick on the Fan’s morning show today, even if he really didn’t say anything… (audio here)

As always, the podcast is available at The Score, or through iTunes.

Mintmusical interludes: Johnny Cash God’s Gonna Cut You Down, Grand Funk Railroad I Just Want To Celebrate, The Smiths William, It Was Really Nothing, Rogue Wave Endless Shovel, The Bobby Fuller Four Let Her Dance, The Strokes What Ever Happened

Hill and Carpenter Named Comeback Players of the Year

I think most awards are pretty bullshit to begin with, and only get worse when you start to get an idea of the clowns who vote on them and what their ridiculous methods are, but I really can’t find any way to take the piss out of the Comeback Player of the Year award, which this season has been won by our very own Aaron Hill in the AL, and ex-Jay Chris Carpenter in the NL.

Canadian baseball fans know first hand, having followed Corey Koskie, how concussions can destroy a career, and for Aaron to have come back and had such a ridiculously good season this year, it’s pretty cool. A well-deserved honour, and another reminder that this whole season wasn’t entirely fucking fuckawful… just mostly.

So long, and thanks for not televising the last game

When you leave Toronto's bargain warehouse Honest Ed's, there's a sign that reads: "Wasn't that fun?" Of course, anyone who's been there knows the experience is anything but. While it's true that there is a bargain or two to be found in the store, there comes a point where you end up spending far too much time there and feel completely depressed by the time you leave. Not to draw a comparison between the Toronto Blue Jays 2009 season and Honest Ed's but, well, I guess I just did. The season was anything but fun.

Whether idiotic or on the mark, the tone of the callers' voices on Jays Talk after the game yesterday summed it all up. Fans of this team are fucking pissed off. Whether this organization really has douched us over more than your typical MLB franchise or we're a bunch of whiny bitches, I think everyone is looking forward to the off season.

And those generous guys at Rogers have given us just that. Unless you splurge hundreds of dollars to have over 200 channels of mostly useless programming, you can't watch this afternoon's game. Boy, do I regret not making the upgrade this season. I'd like to think maybe the first order of business for next season might be ending these exclusive Preview Channel Jays games. Until you get a product on the field that can justify exclusivity, fuck right off with this shit. We're not Leafs fans here and aren't going to splurge just to pick up an extra few games a season. Of course, I'd really hate it if we had such an amazing team that they really could make Jays games a pay-TV entity. But at least they'd have something to back it up with then. Right now, how do you spin this as part of Rogers' PR staff? "Um, we feel that after 161 games of loyal support, we, uh, should reward the viewers who only pay for satellite a chance to see the team for a last time. This doesn't mean we're encouraging other viewers to go outside and enjoy a beautiful day. Please tune in to Sportsnet where we have some Canadian Olympic highlights for you."

Shit, I don't mean to end things on such a sour note. I'm going to head out and enjoy the day. Hopefully we can look forward to hearing a bit more about the direction this team will be taking in the near future. And right now, any direction whatsoever will be welcome. And with the shitstorm of news surrounding this team over the weekend, we could use some clarity.

It's weird but I'm already looking forward to starting things off again next season. Not that I don't need some good playoff ball, and a long fucking break to get into that mindset first. But you know it's going to be awesome to have this team back again. ... In six months' time.

Happy off season. And as always, go Jays.

Fire Anthopoulos!

Fucking fire Beeston, too, while you're at it, because as Justin pointed out in the game threat below, the Fan 590's pregame show revealed that both the president and the new GM have given Cito Gaston a vote of confidence going forward.

I'm fucking sorry, but if these are "baseball people" who've been "watching" this "season" and they don't grasp what a horseshitting clusterfuck Gaston's management style has been, this team will continue to be a worthless fucking disaster.

Of course, it's not like Anthopoulos was going to throw his manager under the bus on day one, but he at least could have given us a non-denial denial. "Everybody in the organization will be assessed once the season is over," or something...

And yes, Cito truly seems like an awesome dude and all-- I can't stress this enough-- but holy fuck, the Jays need to harness every advantage they can get if they're ever going to scrape by the Yankees or the Red Sox in the AL East, and fucking Cito pisses away advantages like they're ice cubes in a urinal. I mentioned this yesterday, but it bears repeating: Vernon Wells, who's lukewarm last month or so has seen him improve to the fifteenth worst hitter getting regular at-bats in the American League (in terms of OPS+), has batted outside of the third, fourth or fifth spots in the lineup thirty five fucking times in 675 plate appearances.

If you cannot see what an incredible fucking fail that is if your object is to win baseball games, you do not deserve to manage a baseball team. Period. End of story. And that's only one in a litany of fucking inexplicable, detremental moves the guy has been making all year.

And y'know, sure, maybe the players are being whiny little pussies and Cito's authority needed to be reinforced. I'd totally buy that if this was halfway through the season. But with two games left? No. Anthopoulos has already fucked up here: either his first pronouncement to the fans was a lie, or he's actually fucking serious about continuing on with Gaston. Ugh.

I'm pulling for the guy-- it may not sound like it here, but I truly am-- it's just... I was floored by today's unambiguous vote of confidence for Cito. These fucks have got to be absolutely fucking kidding me...

Where the streets have no Rogers

Hey everyone. It's been a while, been away in Gaspe for the past week on vacation. And what a vacation it was. Driving along the coast, the scenery makes you realize just how limited your powers of description really are. "Oh wow, that's, like, so fucking beautiful" just doesn't really cut it.

But as I wondered if simply the distance from city life was responsible for all the R&R crammed in those seven days. While I certainly wasn't missing the Jays much, I inevitably grew curious at the idea of, if I did want to check out a game, would that be possible? Turns out, not so much.

Forget that Sportsnet likely wouldn't broadcast the games anyway in Quebec. There is no fucking Sportsnet over there. Or Rogers. For some reason, that whole region seems to be run by Telus. Other than the fact that our cell phones were useless that nearly led to some car rental problems, it was a most welcome monopoly. Don't get me wrong, if I moved to Gaspe I'm sure I'd start to rant about how much Telus sucks and how they're responsible for their sponsored Gaspe Tabernacs T-ball team's failure to win the elementary school championships or something. But as a visitor, it was kinda awesome. Not seeing anything Rogers for even such a short time does wonders for the soul.

But shit, that all comes rushing right back when you catch up on a week's worth of news that involves a near mutiny on our hands, J.P. actually dissing the fans for this clusterfuck of a season, J.P. getting fired and, um, Jay Stenhouse waiting for a call from Parkes.

It all feels like I never left.

I also realized that from the day I left, the Jays were unbeaten until last night. WhenI got back from vacation. Go figure.

I got stuff to catch up on:

In the pre-pre game show, Wilner is saying there will be a direction and a plan made known to the fans as soon as there is a new president in place. And assumes that whoever the president is will determine whether Alex Anthopoulos will retain his promotion (at 32! ... I've done nothing with my life).

Ricciardigate

The comments from Stoeten's post this morning have been all over the news coming out on this, but Shi Davidi has a J.P. best and worst highlight reel over here. You be the judge. And a pretty nice summary of the man, the myth, the horseshitter here, with Godfrey chiming in : "I think he managed better with less money than more money ... When you suddenly have more money in your pant pocket, it starts to burn a hole there. As the payroll increased, the mistakes became much larger and much more obvious."

And Blair rightly points out that getting rid of J.P. is the easy part.

Wilner has commented how people being vocally overjoyed by this decision is kinda sick. Sure, it kinda is. But it's not like Ricciardi seemed to have any problem laying off anybody during his time here. It's business. And as in business, the person at the helm usually gets the axe. And while I certainly don't think Ricciardi is responsible for everything that has gone wrong with this team, his performance and our current standing certain doesn't make a strong case for him keeping his job. I really hope it's not only a move to appease the fans (is that it?) but to get a new direction going on. Any kind of direction.

And more on Gastongate
Beeston commented on the meeting with the players prior to tonight's game that their concerns were listened to and he kept his mouth shut apart from giving a few suggestions. But nothing was going to be done right now, citing that the season's over tomorrow. And that's all he'd comment on that so, you know, if Beeston does take the job full-time, let's hope he becomes a bit more articulate.

Anthopoulos (sounding understandably like he needs to go to the bathroom) commented that Gaston is their manager moving forward.

Not that it's good to come back to hear that your hometown ball team's clubhouse is a shittier place to hang out than a Firkin (heyo!), but at least it's something, right? The players at least are pointing to something that they believer is wrong. Whether it's cowardly, total horseshit or not even true (not to mention racist!), it says that they at least care about something (which is more you can say about the way they've seemed this season).

And for some more reading, the Globe weighs in here and the Post here.

And there's a game!

With Nuit Blanche tonight, which pretty much is an all-night piss up, not too sure we'll have too many people watching (and the Leafs are playing! We want the cup! We want the cup!). But if you don't have Rogers Preview Channel, tonight might be your last chance to catch the Jays. Wow, bet I sold you with that one.

Go Jays.

Toronto Blue Jays

Bautista - rf
Hill - 2b
Encarnacion - 3b
Wells - cf
Barajas - c
Ruiz - dh
Millar - 1b
McDonald - ss
Snider - lf

Richmond - p

Baltimore Orioles

Roberts - 2b
Izturis - ss
Wieters - dh
Markakis - rf
Wigginton - 3b
Aubrey - 1b
Montanez - lf
Florentino - cf
Rodriguez - c

Hendrickson - p

...

Listening to the crowd reaction at the Minnesota game is making me jealous.

UPDATE: In an interview with Jerry Howarth, Cito Gaston says he wants to thank J.P. for getting him back in the game. Hmmm. So Ricciardi wanted Cito here all along! ... Or more PR niceties?

Cito wasn't worried about his job being in jeopardy the last 24 hours. And even if it was, he'd be alright to walk away. And apparently, a lot of players have approached him to say "Hey, it wasn't me. I had nothing to do with it." So either he's talking shit or the Jays players are a bunch of callous fucks?

Yesterday was also one of the worst days of his life.

...

Let's play ball!

It's Over

They did it, man. They fuckin' did it!

JP Ricciardi has been fired as Senior Vice President of Baseball Operations and General Manager of the Toronto Blue Jays. Alex Anthopoulos takes over, at least until a new president is named and starts making whatever changes he sees fit.

"This was a tough decision and a difficult one for me personally as I have enjoyed J.P.'s friendship and his perspective on the game," said Paul Beeston, acting President, and CEO, in a release. "J.P. has put an incredible amount of effort into improving the team and he has brought along a number of great young players. However, I feel that it is time for a change and accordingly we have decided to move on."

This, as has been obvious for months, is a move that had to happen. From a consumer relations perspective, carrying on into next year with Ricciardi would have been disastrous for the club.

While the relative merits of the job he's done over the last eight years can be debated-- and have been, endlessly-- what can't be debated is how completely any faith in Ricciardi's abilities has been, rightly or wrongly, destroyed in the minds of much of the fan base. The team simply couldn't go on with this man at the helm and expect fans to keep buying tickets and lapping up their bullshit.

It's really that simple-- as much a PR move as a baseball move-- and what's most surprising, and dare I say negligent, about it is that it took so goddamn long. We've known for months that this was coming, but Rogers and Paul Beeston allowed the fans to grow more and more disillusioned, more and more disinterested in the team, when this one simple act, performed in early September, could have spared so much ill feeling towards the club.

Still, they ultimately did the right thing for the franchise-- the first thing that had to be done as they begin to repair their shattered image in the local consciousness. So... yeah... that's it. It's over. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Game Threat: Oh, Right… There’s A Game

Bastian is getting all the Cito-gate dirt—like all the gold below—so stick close to his Twitter throughout the night. For those of you who won’t be joining us at Opera Bob’s, enjoy the game. . .

Grab Bag: Opera Bob’s, Anonymous Comment, KLaw

Don’t Forget! TONIGHT! Season-Ending Pulled Pork Extravaganza!

Don’t forget the Drunk Jays Fans End Of Year Prom Night Massacre With Pulled Pork Sandwiches, to be held this evening at the watering hole that outdoes all other watering holes, Opera Bob's Public House, located at 1112 Dundas St. West.

The good folks at Opera Bob's will be serving the most delicious of pulled pork sandwiches to guests, as we commiserate the end of yet another shitacular season with a level of drunkeness so obscene that the term shit-faced doesn't do it justice.

We'll be convening at 7:00 PM sharp, and through the haze of misery, a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and Toronto Blue Jays may be visible on the multiple television screens throughout the bar.

Come early, bring friends and say hello to new friends while waving goodbye to a season of baseball that should surely be forgotten.

The Reason We Have Anonymous Comments…

I remember the same guy (supposedly) commenting on the Rolen stuff that he mentions here, for whatever that’s worth. Doesn’t mean this comment is at all credible, but it sure is interesting, and if it’s just made up out of thin air, whoever wrote it did a pretty nice job faking it, I think. This came from the comments section of one of the posts below…

I have to remain anonymous, but I gave you a bit of this when I told you that Rolen was leaving because of Cito. They had a agreement not to make their disagreement public.

It got way worse for Cito as other players started asking the same questions (specifically batting order, where players were starting, late inning replacements) to the point where Cito blew up. He hates second guessing, especially by players. But you guys would be shocked if I told you the player who is actually leading the mutiny. He is actually very good. I am not going to tell you because you wouldn't believe me anyways. This story is a bombshell and I hope some reporter gets it (I am trying to lead someone to it).

Laying Down The Law

There were a few Jays-related nuggets in yesterday’s awesome-as-usual Keith Law chat over at ESPN. Here they are:

John (Lexington, KY)
Is Halladay the best pitcher in baseball? No one else in the discussion has nearly as many starts against the top offensive teams in MLB, yet, he goes out an carves those teams up on a regular basis
Klaw
I think he's the one pitcher whom a Cy voter could defend choosing over Greinke this year.

John (Toronto)
Long term - Lind or Snider? Has Lind's season changed your outlook?
Klaw
Snider's going to have more value because he can play a position - but I was never down on Lind. He was one of my breakout guys for 2009.

Patrick (Toronto)
Hill, Snider, Lind, Wells, Encarnacion, and likely Scutaro/Barajas resigned....Doc/Romero/Marcum/Rzezpynski/Cecil, a cheap and effective pen and some Rios money thrown to a guy like Dye if Lind moves to 1st....is that a playoff contender?
Klaw
Not in that division.

ben (toronto)
what would be your offseason blue print for the jays?
Klaw
I don't see how they can become contenders in 2010 without a tremendous amount of luck, which, unfortunately, means shopping Halladay, and really every other veteran. It is actually a pretty good young core, but I don't think it's enough in a division with the Yanks, Red Sox, and Rays. You can win in that division on their payroll, but it'll have to be through a more productive farm system.

LATE ADDITION! Joe Carter Defends Cito!

From Norm Rumack's LateNightVampire.ca, complete with an unbelievably gigantic [sic]:

latenightvampire.com contacted former Blue Jays World Series hero Joe Carter, to get his response to the Canadian Press story. Joe Carter didn't mince his words in responding to the criticisms of the Jays manager. Carter said "If they can't play for Cito, they can't play for anybody !" Carter also stated Cito is "not a negative person,he's honest, he means what he sais." The Wichita State University alumnus also added that Cito "never embarrassed anyone, it was all done behind closed doors. The purpose was to better the team." The former Blue Jay, now residing in Kansas City, also told latenightvampire.com that "kids can't take criticism" and that "the players should blame themselves". Carter went on to say the "players were not policing themselves" and that "talking about the manager is the wrong avenue."

Today In Laughable Bullshit: JP Is Disappointed In The Fans

The fucking stones on this guy.

Here’s a little snippet of conversation that went on this morning between JP Ricciard and the ol’ Tother Mike Hogan on the Fan 590’s Bullpen. (audio here)

HOGAN: Record aside, what’s been the bright spot for you this year, what’s been the most disappointing spot for you this year?

RICCIARDI: Well, I think the most disappointing thing is the fact that we were pretty honest and upfront with the fan base and told them that we were not going to be a playoff team this year, and that we were going to have to play a lot of young kids. Just the reaction lately about how the season’s gone out, I think it’s been a little misleading as to what we told the fan base, and what we were pretty honest with, with everybody, that we thought we were going to be a very young club, and that we were probably going to be a club that—I thought personally, we were going to win 75 to 77 games. I think we were pretty upfront with that, and I think the most disappointing thing is the reaction lately that we’ve promised something that hasn’t happened. I think that’s probably been the most disappointing thing.

Yes, JP, fans were told all along that the team was going to play a lot of kids and not be very good this year… because they were re-loading for 2010.

Remember that part? The part that was… oh… I don’t know… blown a-fucking-part when you put yourself and the franchise player at the centre of a national media trade-frenzy circus? When you dumped BJ Ryan and Alex Rios for nothing? When you traded Scott Rolen for prospects? When we spent the summer watching Vernon Wells wilt under the weight of his massive contract? When you failed to sign your fucking draft picks? When the fucking owners couldn’t even be bothered to make more than a passing, say-nothing comment as the fan base grew more and more disillusioned at the total lack of leadership and direction from the front office, who sit waiting still to know the fate of the payroll next year, even as they’ve spent months clearing the books and laying off employees?

Ring a bell?

Oh, yes, the fans have really been un-fucking-fair this year, you whiny little bitch.

Wells Vague-ish On “Mutiny”

A pair of interesting Twitter posts (seriously, you want me to call them Tweets?) from @MLBastian just popped up. Seems that the intrepid MLB.com Jays reported spoke to Vernon Wells about the reports of clubhouse strife.

Asked if it would be difficult to play under Cito again in 2010, Wells: "I cant answer that question." (1)

Asked if it has ever been this bad in the clubhouse in the past, Wells: "No." (2)

Interesting stuff—and a bit of a non-denial denial there in the first comment. Or… well… technically it’s a non-confirmation confirmation, but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

And… frankly… this astounds me. If fucking Vernon isn’t down with the Ci-to, then who the fuck possibly could be?

Wells has strolled to the plate six-hundred and seventy fucking times this year. All but 35 of those were hitting third, fourth or fifth in the order (!?!??!)—and right now, after a nice stretch of not being quite so completely fucking terrible, he sits as the 15th worst hitter in the American League (among qualified leaders in OPS+). And he’s started 150 games in centre—many of which when there was a much better defensive CF just a little over to his left.

Seriously. Holy fucking fuck. Nobody should ever, ever, ever get that much leeway from a manager, so if Wells still feels aggrieved… how the fuck must Randy Ruiz or Jeremy Accardo feel?

Griff Blames JP, Globe Says Players Requested Meeting With Beeston

You’re going to want to sit down for this one, because the unthinkable has happened: Richard Griffin has taken a shot at JP Ricciardi. Let me give you a minute to let that sink in, because I’m sure the idea of it is so outlandish that you hardly know what to think right now. It’s OK. Breathe.

There? You good? Ready? Alright…

“Since Rosenthal is not around the Jays' clubhouse and has very rarely quoted any Jays' players directly in recent years, this 'clubhouse insider' information has to come from someone in the Jays' front office,” Griff writes in his blog at the Star, completely, intentionally, disingenuously ignoring a shitload of other potential sources.

“Here's a clue. Needing confirmation for the column, Rosenthal claims he was unable to reach GM J.P. Ricciardi for comment. If it's true that he was unable to contact the GM that would be a first. This has the feel of a Ricciardi scud missile on his way out the door.”

Of course, it’s very possible that he’s right, but… holy shit!!! THE POWER OF THE WRITTEN WORD!!!!!

Griff goes on to also suggest that the supposed revolt against Cito probably started in the bullpen—because Cito is a hitter, you see, and doesn’t really give much of a shit for pitchers, hence the constant dicking around that the receivers relievers have received this year—and he also says probably isn’t as big a deal as it’s made out to in the report. (You know, the report that Rosenthal based on a Ricciardi scud missile on his way out the door.)

Not necessarily so though, says the Globe. Robert MacLeod has a source that claims Paul Beeston’s “traditional” end-of-season trip to be with the team in Baltimore may not only be just a lame pretext for giving Ricciardi his walking papers before he has to go back to Toronto and face the media horde on Monday.

Beeston is said to be travelling to Baltimore to give the annual end-of-season president’s speech to the players. “I know that the players, some group of the players, want to meet with him to discuss their feelings,” said one source.

Now, Griffin says that a team who have given up on their manager wouldn’t possibly have won six straight games or nine of ten—really? Have they won nine of ten???—but… I don’t know… how about the four months previous?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is for real-- I mean, even if you don't trust Rosenthal, Wilner has confirmed it, along with a number of others, and I think that even the most ridiculous Wilner-is-a-puppet assholes, in their deepest frothing retarded bullshit rage about his towing the company line would have to admit that it would be very, very strange for such an "apologist" for Rogers and the front office to be making this kind of stuff up. The rest of us here in the real world will just take him at his word.

A Quick Note To Morons

Reading through the idiotic comment section, the same argument keeps coming up: Cito Gaston has won two World Series, what has anyone on this team ever done?

Are you really that mind-numbingly dumb? I'm surprised anyone with that limited a mode of thinking could actually formulate a sentence, let alone have the wherewithal to write it out in words.

No one is all good or all bad. During the early nineties, Cito Gaston was obviously doing something right with a veteran team that that led the league in payroll. However, that was more than fifteen years ago. Baseball has changed and the Jays no longer have the same level of superstars on their roster that they had then.

It doesn't sound as though Cito Gaston is a good fit for this team.

J.P. Ricciardi, on the FAN 590, tried to make it sound as though these comments by players were an isolated incident, likely brought on by the lousy season and a lack of playing time. However, the other reports suggest that a large portion of the team shares the sentiment that they do not want Gaston back.

This isn't the whiny comments of a few prima-donnas. This could possibly be the majority of the team.

Personally, I question a shit ton of Gaston's in-game decisions, but the prevailing defense among Cito-lovers has always been that he's a master of clubhouse morale, and focuses more on the war than individual battles.

Today's rumblings suggest that's just not the case, and now all those people who haven't had a baseball boner since Joe Carter's home run are desperately trying to defend someone past their prime.

Just because Adam Lind has blossomed, supposedly under Gaston's tutelage, and Aaron Hill is suddenly a slugging sensation, it doesn't mean that the rest of the ball club is wrong. I'm sure that Gaston has done some good things for this club, but a look at their record and an ear to these rumours suggest that Gaston no longer belongs as the manager of this team.

Kenny Ken Ken Says Mutiny!

Here's where I'm awesome: when I want to believe Kenny Ken Ken Rosenthal, I can sort of overlook his complete bullshit little-man-complex-influenced "power of the written word" lecture of blogger Jerod Morris earlier this summer. And this morning I've dragged myself out of bed for a bit here because I want to believe him.

Why?

Because today in completely unsurprising news, he's reporting for Fox Sports that "The players are fed up with Gaston and do not want him to return next season, according to multiple major-league sources."

Well hire a camel to blow my fucking balls off, I ... am ... shocked!

Or... wait. No. Actually, I guess since the Jays players presumably posses something close to the normal human level of complete fucking bullshit detection, I'm completely not.

"It's nearly a mutiny right now," one source in Kenny Ken Ken's report says. "He has lost the entire team."

"The players' primary complaints are Gaston's lack of communication, old-school approach and negativism," he continues, later adding that "the divisions in the Jays' clubhouse, as described by sources, are particularly acute [and] those divisions exist not only between Gaston and his players, but also between Gaston and some of his coaches."

"Once the team started losing, Gaston became impatient with his players, sources say. The players, in turn, began tuning him out," Rosenthal reports. "Certain Jays veterans bristle over reduced playing time and Gaston's failure to properly communicate substitutions, sources say. Younger players require more positive reinforcement than Gaston provides, according to another source."

Well... yeah. Hands up who's surprised?

Like I've said too many times lately, I like the idea of Cito. I think he's got a tonne of knowledge and experience that can help players immensely in this game, and by most accounts he's a personable guy to shoot the shit with. But does that qualify him to be running a major league ballclub in the year 2009? Holy fucking of course not.

I'm preaching to the choir a bit here, but as a fan who would like to see his team make logical substitutions and lineup decisions-- yes, believe it or not, even more than I'd like to see them make cynical fucking nostalgia plays to mask the fact that they don't have enough goddamn talent on the club-- Cito has been abysmally fucking abysmal. I'm sure there's a lot he brings to the table that we don't see-- honestly, I want to respect the guy-- but I have a hard time not believing that, if, instead of a human manager the Jays' in-game tactics were decided by... say ... a sassy robot, and that robot made the exact same decisions that Gaston has made this year, you'd probably have to shoot it.

I don't know... it's early... what do you fucking want?

Seriously, though... there's a part of me that still hates to say it, but fire Cito. For the love of all that's fucking sensible and not inexplicably enamoured with Kevin Millar, please just fucking fire him already. (JP, too).

Parkes Hijack / Update: The FAN 590 just finished an impromptu talk with Mike Wilner who confirmed that this sentiment exists in the clubhouse. He's spoken with 10 players off the record who have said that they don't want Cito back next year.

The clusterfuck of a shit show that is Rogers Baseball Operations, formerly the Toronto Blue Jays, continues to skid out the asshole in constipated chunks.

Stoeten Re-Jack / Update: Shi Davidi of the Canadian Press has the story, and adds some comments from Cito that he said last Sunday, after the last home game.

"If guys aren't happy with whatever happened here, then they're looking at the wrong person. If they're unhappy, they have to look at themselves, because I certainly treated everybody in a way that I'd like to be treated as a player and how I'd like my manager to treat me. If they're grumbling, they're grumbling because they didn't do their jobs. They had opportunities."

The Way In-Game Promotions Work

I was contacted by one of the winners of last Sunday's "Shirt Of Our Back" promotion, and they were kind enough to give me an explanation as to how they ended up winning a game jersey.

According to this person, a member of the J-Force approached them and their six year old son during batting practice, about an hour before the game, asking if they wanted to win a jersey. When they confirmed that they'd be thrilled, she handed over an envelope (I shit you not) with instructions to meet outside guest services during the seventh inning. From there, they were ushered to the first base side camera bay from where they watched the rest of the game, and went on to the field once it had finished.

It was good to hear that this particular person received the John McDonald jersey, and that it went to someone who will appreciate it. I'm also glad that, at least in this instance, children win out over J-Force friends.

However, I'm left with one question: Why bother with the whole ticket stub announcement on the big screen in front of all the fans, if the winners are selected arbitrarily, not randomly, an hour before the game?

There is only one explanation: To give the illusion that everyone in the stadium still has the opportunity to have their seat randomly drawn to win a prize.

The team is being purposefully misleading. And while it may be understandable for the sake of organization and having things run smoothly, that's not an excuse for dishonesty. The fact that this organization has garnered a reputation for misleading fans from a baseball operations standpoint - "It's not lying if we know the truth" - worsens their trickery on the customer relations side of operations. In combination, both sides culminate in forming an opinion that this baseball club simply doesn't give a fuck about its fans.

I realize that the Blue Jays are not Oprah, and that they can't give away cars to 50,000 people every night, but there exists a large disconnect between the team and its fans that goes beyond shitty promotions.

A new generation of baseball fans has come of age that, thanks in large part to an increased access to information, is more uniformly aware of baseball operations and able to express their pleasure or disdain with how their favourite club is operating more frequently and on a larger scale.

Making things even worse for the Blue Jays is that this generation's love of baseball and the Toronto franchise specifically was fueled by back-to-back World Series victories and a run of management, at least from a front office standpoint, that is largely applauded.

We're louder, smarter and have higher expectations than previous generations of baseball fans. While it's not surprising that this could have caught the Toronto Blue Jays unaware, it is surprising and almost shameful that the organization still doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that, while we haven't been behind the curtain, we at least have a semblance of what happens back there.

Also, according to the Johnny Mac jersey winner, Rod Barajas definitely farted while on the field with everyone.

Anyway, we've got a really timely guest for the podcast this week in current TSN.ca writer and former Blue Jays Director of Guest Services and Fan Experience, Will Hill. Hopefully, Will . . . uh . . . will be able to shed some light on the subject of fan treatment and talk about some of the Jays past policies.

Oh, and don't forget about the Drunk Jays Fans End Of Year Prom Night Massacre With Pulled Pork Sandwiches at Opera Bob's Public House tomorrow night at 7:00 PM. Beer, pork and Blue Jays make Oktoberfest look gay.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a telephone call to prepare for. And by prepare for, I mean get belligerently drunk.

Not On My Watch

I discovered two important things last night:

1) No matter what the situation, Roy Halladay has his team's back. On the first pitch of the second inning during last night's game, possibly the last that Halladay will ever play for Toronto, The Doc drilled David Ortiz most likely in retaliation for Adam Lind getting plunked by a Jonathan Papelbon pitch the night before.

2) David Ortiz packs quite the Gentleman's Jerkins in his back right pocket.

Retalliation Threat: Jays vs. King Douche Of The Pigfuckers

This pigfucking piece of throw-up-in-my-mouth-- patron saint of the clown college frat boy fucks who populate "Red Sox Nation" and can actually label themselves as such without a trace of fucking shame at all the fucking douchebagging fuck that the name connotes-- is by far, bar none, the most hateable fuck in baseball.

It is a goddamn shame this spineless clown-punk will probably never step into the batters box again in his life.

Fuck him for hitting Adam Lind. Fuck him and his punchable fucking pigfucker face for hijacking the game threat for what will, most likely, be Roy Halladay's last ever start as a Jay.

Fuck...

Oh, and holy hell, Millar playing AND hitting third today. What the fuck?

Rogers Baseball Operations

J. Bautista rf
A. Hill 2b
K. Millar 3b
V. Wells cf
L. Overbay 1b
R. Barajas c
R. Ruiz dh
T. Snider lf
J. McDonald ss

Roy Halladay (16-10, 2.90)


Seriously, Doesn't He Look Look Like A Pigfucker?

J. Gathright cf
J. Reddick lf
C. Kotchman 1b
D. Ortiz dh
R. Baldelli rf
G. Kottaras c
A. Gonzalez ss
J. Lowrie 3b
C. Woodward 2b

Tim Wakefield (11-4, 4.33)

Breaking: Jays Fire “Dozens More Staffers” (UPDATE: Not JP... Yet)

Shit, and just when I was going to write a nice little screed about that pigfucker Jonathan Papelbon, word comes down—here from the National Post—that the Jays have fired dozens more staffers.

Also, I’ve been told by someone claiming to be on the inside that it’s a “big day at 1 Blue Jays Way”. We can only speculate that this may mean JP Ricciardi has finally been shitcanned, but… fingers crossed.

Of course, it could also mean that Parkes got the whole PR staff fired.

“It was enough that it wasn’t pleasant,” said Paul Beeston. “It’s not an easy time. You do have a sleepless night, you don’t look forward to it. You’re fooling with people’s lives.”

To me, at least, the fact that there's a comment on it from Beeston suggests it's more likely the former than the latter. Of course, it's very possibly neither and these are just regular old layoffs like the ones that happened in the winter. And now we play Hungry Hungry Hippos...

We'll keep updating this post as more information comes to light...

UPDATE: No new information has come up, and the Post remains the only source on this story that I can find (read: that Google News can find), which is kind of strange, isn't it? So I can really only offer a few thoughts. What we do know, as we await word on the fate of Ricciardi, is that lots of peripheral people in the organization have been canned, who have nothing to do with this being an underperforming baseball team that provides an awful experience for their fans. And frankly, it's shitty for anybody to lose their job, so let's try our best not to revel in this. Since word is that it's "several dozen" people who got canned, that's especially shitty-- especially if it's a bullshit cost-saving move on the part of Rogers.

We all knew changes would be coming, though, so it's not entirely surprising, even if the scale of it is a little mind-boggling.

UPDATE 5:13pm: Shi Davidi of the Canadian Press has the story now as well.

"The moves made Wednesday come as a result of the team's dramatic drop in attendance from 2008," Davidi writes. "The entire baseball operations department was untouched by this latest purge."

"Beeston once again repeated that he won't comment on Ricciardi's future until next week," he said. Beeston also said that he feels the organization is now lean enough to avoid future layoffs.

Jerseygate Update - Only Because It Rhymes

I don't know if you care about this or not, but I haven't really ever considered what anyone cares about when I'm writing on this website anyway, so why start now . . . I'm such a fucking punk rocker.

Anyway, since posting that little tantrum about getting fucked over by Rogers Baseball Operations, a few interesting things have happened.

First off, my friends who left their contact information with Guest Services at Rogers Centre, were contacted by a representative of the Blue Jays who left a courteous telephone message, referencing Drunk Jays Fans. They'll be replying shortly, and I imagine that they will have no trouble getting some cool swag from the Jays.

Secondly, a few of the friendly comments on the post suggested that I was a whiny bitch for complaining about the whole incident, and while they're obviously fishing for a "fuck off" reaction, I would like to mention that I'm not seeking anything out of this for myself. All I want is for my friends to get their jersey and maybe a little more transparency in the future over the bullshit promotions that they run during baseball games.

This is the thing that really gets my goat about the whole incident. It has nothing to do with me personally. The Jays misled a stadium full of people about a promotion and no one would be the wiser if they weren't unlucky enough to have it fuck over someone with a platform to express their outrage. This really isn't the way an organization should be running their business when they annually fail to achieve the simple wish of the majority of their fans for one fucking season with meaningful baseball in September and October.

Anyway, after emptying out my mind's vial of vile on the blog, I went on to write a less obscenity-soaked tirade about the incident to the ball club through the Jays feedback forum.

I specifically asked them to explain how their promotions are run, and how winners are decided.

And this is where things get kind of weird.

Through odd channels of connections, I was informed a few hours ago, with his telephone number in the body of the email, that Jay Stenhouse, the Toronto Blue Jays Vice President of Communications, would like to speak with me about the post.

Is this not kind of strange, and maybe a little disrespectful?

Don't get me wrong. I'll be glad to have a chat with Mr. Stenhouse tomorrow, but why wouldn't he email me directly? Why go through such odd channels to get in touch?

The post that he would apparently like to discuss is on a blog that people use everyday to email Stoeten and I. Why go through a work around process like that when he could've emailed me directly? It's not as though our email addresses are difficult to come across.

Even if he, himself, didn't have time to email a lowly blogger. Could he not get one of his underlings to set up a telephone appointment?

I'm very curious to find out.

The Drunk Jays Fans End Of Year Prom Night Massacre With Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Dear Loyal Drunk Jays Fans Readers:

It is my privilege to cordially invite you to the Drunk Jays Fans End Of Year Prom Night Massacre With Pulled Pork Sandwiches, to be held this Friday evening at the watering hole that outdoes all other watering holes, Opera Bob's Public House, located at 1112 Dundas St. West.

The good folks at Opera Bob's will be serving the most delicious of pulled pork sandwiches to guests, as we commiserate the end of yet another shitacular season with a level of drunkeness so obscene that the term shit-faced doesn't do it justice.

We'll be convening at 7:00 PM sharp, and through the haze of misery, a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and Toronto Blue Jays may be visible on the multiple television screens throughout the bar.

Come early, bring friends and say hello to new friends while waving goodbye to a season of baseball that should surely be forgotten.

See y'all there. Even you, anonymous.

Sincerely,
Drunk Jays Fans

The Details:

Who: You, me and everyone who loves baseball or at least complaining about baseball.
What: The Drunk Jays Fans End Of Year Prom Night Massacre With Pulled Pork Sandwiches
Why: It's the end of another year, bitches.
When: Friday, October 2, 2009. 7:00 PM EST
Where: Opera Bob's Public House, 1112 Dundas St. W

Boners Up: DJF 2009 Podcast #26 (Guest: Bruce Arthur)

A little late, as always, but here it is for your listening enjoyment—or, perhaps, for the weird pleasure you get in indulging your OCD—the twenty-sixth DJF podcast of the season.

This week we chat with Bruce Arthur of the National Post, who recently wrote that “if Ricciardi’s time isn’t over, it will be nothing short of a betrayal.”

And speaking of betrayals, Parkes may have had a thing or two to say about the fine folks at Rogers.

As always, the podcast is available at The Score, or through iTunes.

Mintmusical Interludes: Sleater-Kinney Entertain, Devo Satisfaction, Sloan Snowsuit Sound, Portishead We Carry On, The Nation of Ulysses The Kingdom of Heaven Must Be Taken By Storm, Modern Lovers Roadrunner

Game Threat: Jays (72-84) @ Red Sox (91-64)

Hey, so I've actually got an excuse for posting a shitty game threat here tonight-- I'm working on getting the podcast up. Should be up shortly. Meanwhile, enjoy another meaningless game from Rogers Baseball Operations as the Jays visit Fenway, home of the most beautiful girls in Massachusetts, and take on the Red Sox.

Rogers Baseball Operations

J. Bautista rf
A. Hill 2b
A. Lind dh
V. Wells cf
E. Encarnacion 3b
L. Overbay 1b
R. Barajas c
T. Snider lf
J. McDonald ss

Scott Richmond (7-10, 5.32)

Boston Red Sox

J. Ellsbury cf
D. Pedroia 2b
V. Martinez c
K. Youkilis 3b
D. Ortiz dh
J. Bay lf
J.D. Drew rf
C. Kotchman 1b
A. Gonzalez ss

Michael Bowden (0-0, 7.84)

Outrage! Fucking Outrage!

I know it's been a while since I rapped at y'all. And I can tell you all about the awesomeness of moving into a new place, losing your job and trying to find someone to sublet the new place because you can no longer afford it, all while having no internet access, another time.

What's important right now is that I am outraged.

I am outraged at the fat cunts at Rogers Baseball Operations who managed to make the disgrace that is their customer relations that much more distasteful to me, a mother-fucking loyal consumer of their product on the last day of their home schedule, a day notoriously set aside by professional sports clubs across the world as their fan appreciation day.

But why, oh why, would I ever expect Rogers to show an iota of gratitude to the poor schmucks that they've robbed all season long, not only stealing dollars out of the pockets of hopeless supporters, but also thieving the very joy that baseball is supposed to bring.

Thank you, fuckheads.

How did this particular travesty, during the last home game of the season take place? Well, buckle down and have a listen to my story:

Two of my best friends, let's call them Macho Man and Elizabeth, purchased six tickets to Sunday afternoon's game. They were kind enough to invite myself, and three others to attend the game and cheer on the Jays for the last time all season.

We dressed the part of fans, clothing ourselves in ridiculous Jays paraphernalia and cheering on the lineup with more gusto than they themselves showed through a large portion of the season.

During the third inning, my seat, the ticket that I was holding, was written out on the Jumbotron screen as the winner of a promotion in which the lucky ticket holder would receive a game worn jersey off the back of a player in the lineup. They called it The Shirt Off Our Backs promotion, connotating that the Blue Jays would give anything for their fans.

Fuck that shit in the fucking ass!

As a thank you for buying the tickets, I offered the "winning" paper over to Elizabeth, with the condition that she pick John McDonald's sweat-drenched uniform because it would very likely be the last time he suits up for the Blue Jays and plays in Toronto. Her and Macho Man were thrilled at the prospect of winning something at the game, and looked forward to going on the field afterwards to collect their prize and meet the PMoD.

All through our congratulatory commotion, a crazy woman sitting nearby was going on and on about how they had made a mistake and that she was the real winner. We rolled our eyes and looked at each other with that knowing glance that said, "Aw, listen to this old, crazy cuntette going on about her insane delusions. Isn't that almost sweet and not fucking pathetic."

Well, it turns out that she was indeed correct and that we were the ones full of delusions. We deluded ourselves into thinking that tickets were randomly drawn by the fucking ridiculous clowns at Rogers Baseball Operations, and not already pre-selected by staff members.

You see, before the game had even begun the woman was chosen as a winner. I don't know if she was a Rogers employee or what the basis of her selection was, but I do know that being told your ticket was the winner on the fucking Jumbotron in front of 30,000 people who have mostly been led to believe that this was the result of a random draw is meaningless.

As fucking meaningless as most of the games played at Rogers Centre this season.

Fuck this shit.

Immediately following the game, the true winners were already marching out onto the Rogers Centre field and selecting the jerseys that they wanted, as Mach Man and Elizabeth sat around in confusion.

A quick trip to guest services, where a kind, but powerless, employee seemed as shocked as we were that the draw wasn't random. She took down our complaint of bullshit shenanigans, perhaps questioning our sanity to herself, and filed it away where it will no doubt sit unanswered until the paper itself decomposes.

What is so fucking aggravating about this entire scenario is that we were without a doubt slighted and there is no useful course of action that we can take for this wrong to be righted. I realize that it's not a travesty of justice, and my family hasn't been falsely imprisoned, but it's just one more example of Rogers Baseball Operations fucking over the fans who still come to cheer on this fucking loser of a team.

Fuck the fuck off!

I don't know how sinister the random draw was, and the winners may in fact have been random selections, but playing tricks, not only by making the six of us believe we had won something we had no chance of actually winning, but also by misleading an entire stadium full of people into believing that they too could possess a lucky ticket is the type of bush league bullshit you would never imagine happening anywhere outside of fiction.

It never ceases to amaze me how fucking terrible of an organization Rogers Baseball Operations has become.

Shame on you! Shame on you for putting a terrible product on the field! And shame on you for misleading fans! And shame on you for taking a steaming shit on the most loyal of your customers!

This organization is disgraceful. Plain and simple. Disgraceful.

Fucking terrible.

I'm ashamed that this club represents the city and fans who turned out on Sunday and acted like one of the best baseball crowds I've ever had the privilege of watching a game with, second only to the attendees of the first World Baseball Classic game between Canada and the U.S.A. earlier this year.

We all deserve much, much better.

Newsworthy-ish Thing: Gillick Bullshit Rumour Edition

Holy shit, I just stared blankly at the screen with only the words "Holy shit" typed on in for about 45 seconds before I realized that this damn post wasn't going to write itself.

It's 3:56 AM and I could think of a whole bunch of other things I'd rather be doing right now-- except, I guess that's not any different from any other time I've written about the Jays over the last four months. ZANG!

TANGENT: Oh my fucking God, I'm sorry for this, especially because it's about fucking hockey, but I have the radio on right now, and Doug MacLean is talking, and... why the fuck am I supposed to give a shit what the retard who built the fucking Columbus Blue Jacket dynasty thinks? I mean, Millbury as an "expert" on HNIC is technically a bigger fucking joke, but at least he's only on once a week, and-- more importantly-- he's not on right fucking now. MacLean is the. worst. Sorry, but his misplaced smugness is just so beyond un-fucking-acceptable-- YOU "BUILT" THE FUCKING BLUE JACKETS YOU FUCKING CLOWN! SHUT UP! Keep milking the fucking fluke Cup Finals Panthers run from thirteen years ago!

Anyway, sorry. So here's a thing: Bob Nightengale (@BNightengale) of USA Today did a little Twittering this evening:

The hottest rumor among baseball scouts is that Pat Gillick will be returning to Toronto to become president of the club, but not GM.

Boner!

Wait... wait... double boner!

Yeah, that's right, I said boner-- because even though I'm on record bitching about my fear of this organization allowing itself to be taken over by dinosaurs (and even though I actually think this rumour is bullshit-- or, at least, I will until I see the damn press conference announcing his hiring), I have an incredible amount of faith in Pat Gillick.

And why shouldn't I? Guy has got results as a team builder from a number of different situations-- and that means a shit tonne.

It's one thing to be Theo Epstein and to be looked at as some boy genius, conveniently forgetting that, while he does a good job, his situation has also got some ridiculous fucking advantages. It's another to go into different markets, under different ownerships, with different fan bases and different predicaments, and still somehow manage to fucking deliver the goods every goddamn time.

Basically... Gillick could murder Bill James, and shit on his grave while declaring his love for David Eckstein's scrappiness, and I'd still pretty much think he was fucking mint.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong???

Judgment Day

Just got back to my desk at work after the Jays game for a quick post before I head off into the night, and before I get to bitching about how much I cannot fucking stand the baseball culture in this city, the Rogers Centre, and just about everything except Roy Halladay right at the moment… how about Roy fucking Halladay?

Holy shit. If that really was it—and in the emotion of the moment, which, I should add, I pretty much had to conjure myself, along with a few (but not enough) beers, thanks to the sterile, apathetic atmosphere at the Rogers Centre (even with Mike Toth’s encouragement actually having stirred over 20,000 fans into coming down to the park this evening), I'm thinking that I really hope it wasn't, even if I know that's not the best thing for the team—it was a beautiful fucking thing.

It was… Doc.

There’s not much else I can say about that.

What I can say, though, is that tonight’s game reminded me way too much of everything I fucking hate about watching baseball in this city. Even the man of the hour, Halladay, threw Toronto a backhanded compliment in his post game interview, saying that “there’s nothing better, when things are going right, to be part of this city and these fans.” (Italics mine).

Or… wait. Was Halladay the man of the hour, or was it motherfucking pizza? I couldn’t tell who got the bigger cheers, you miserable fucks! Seriously! Just horseshit. A fucking horseshit crowd is what that was. Every asshole in the place knew to get off their hands when Halladay was one strike away from getting them fucking pizza, but when he leaves the mound in the eighth? When he takes the mound in the ninth? Every moment of the ninth up to the last batter—oh, except for when the fucking scoreboard spoon-fed them gigantic flashing fucking clap right now, ignorant motherfuckers signs? Fucking tepid.

And… it’s hard for me to still get pissed off about the wave at this point, but… I can. And I’ll say it a-goddamn-gain: anybody who wants to stand up in the middle of a decent game and start the wave really needs to be shot. And what the fuck was with the coordination, eh hate-fuckable girl with the black shit on her face? Like… I realize that the the bottom of the sixth of a 0-0 game with one out and a man on isn’t the most inappropriate time to start a wave, but still, somebody out there missed Aaron Hill’s home run because a bunch of bored assholes in front of him were more excited about standing up with their arms in the air than the actual goings on on the field. Fuck off.

I mean, why the fuck are these morons even paying to be at the ballpark if they have to be prodded to cheer at the most basic of fucking times?

Ugh.

And hey!… patronizing Aramark piece of shit who acted like I should be thrilled that I’d just saved ten dollars-- fucking literally he said to me, "I just saved you ten dollars!"-- after the goddamn beer stands were shut down while the seventh inning was still going on! You can go fuck yourself too!

Anyway… I don’t know… that’s all I’ve got. A lot of the same old shit, and a lot that takes focus away from how incredibly awesome Halladay is, and how incredible it’s been to watch him go to work every fifth day for all these years, and... I know I shouldn't do that, but that shit just drives me nuts sometimes.

PS. And apparently I wasn’t drunk when I saw a fireball in the sky at one point, Parkes. So you can go fuck yourself too…

I Have Absolutely No Sympathy For Mike Toth

A furious fucking fake bravo (complete with every hack’s favourite device, alliteration) to Mike Toth for his laughably flat attempt this morning to lay a hollow guilt trip on Jays fans for not coming out to the Rogers Centre for this final homestand. “At the risk of sounding like an insensitive clod,” he says with surprising self-awareness, “I have absolutely no sympathy for Toronto Blue Jays fans.”

“There's no excuse for the embarrassingly low crowd counts at Rogers Centre in September,” he says in the article, adding, “There are plenty of good reasons to head to the ballpark one more time before the snow flies.”

Really, Mike? Well then you should have no problem coming up with some reasons why that’s so, without completely mangling the whole fucking concept of your article by focusing three fifths of it on “reasons” that are actually just “jokes” sharted out of a brain addled by too many years sniffing fumes from Junior B players’ hockey bags.

Oh, hang on. Says here you will have a problem with that. . .

Reason One: Halladay’s Last Stand

Since ol’ Tother’s specified that there are reasons to come down one more time, I’ll give him that this reason is not entirely a piece of shit. Of course, if I were shitting down the throats of Jays fans for their incredibly valid total disinterest in the rest of this season, I might have aimed to find some reasons to come down to the ballpark that weren’t specific to one single game out of the whole damn season, but I guess that’s just me.

Reason Two: Ichiro

Look, I think Ichiro is a terrifically fun player to watch—of course, Toth could have mentioned that this is possibly the last chance fans will ever get to watch Ken Griffey Jr., who you might recall was pretty much the biggest, most beloved star in the game for, I dunno, a decade there a while back… but shit, why would people want to see that?—but the thing is, I don’t quite see how it makes anything close to resembling sense to piss on Jays fans for not wanting to come out to see another team’s great players take advantage of our own apathetic, mailing-in-the-season-since-four- months-ago fucks. Maybe in a different year, when people weren’t so pissed off at this directionless mess of a clusterfuck of an organization, they’d be able to appreciate that sort of thing. Not so much now.

Reason Three: Rambling incoherence about Vernon Wells

Um… yeah, there’s not really a reason here. And by “not really” I mean literally not. This is more like an observation, and partly a suggestion. A reason is more like a basis or cause for some kind of belief, action, fact, event, etc. This is… well, I’d better quote what ol’ Tother rambled about, just so we’re clear:

3. There was a time when Blue Jays fans believed that Vernon Wells was on his way to becoming a living legend. Then, he put his name on a certain seven-year, $126 -million dollar contract, and the rest (along with his bat) was history.

But just when you thought you'd have one final opportunity this season to bash V-Dub for his big bucks and small production, he goes on a sudden tear and has been the hottest hitter in the majors since September 6th.

So, with that in mind, be prepared to give Vernon his due when you heckle him this weekend.

"You suck, Wells! Except, of course, when the games are meaningless and we're 30 games out of first place!"

You see what I mean? What the fuck? Was Tother smelling a little burnt toast when he came up with this gem? Vernon Wells once being good, signing a big contract, sucking, then having a good month is a reason to go pay money to sit in an uncomfortable plastic seat and watch a shitty baseball team?

Reason Four: Thoroughly topical Where’s Waldo crack about Paul Beeston

At least Tother manages to sort of frame this one as a “reason”—even though it’s mostly just a pointless excuse to reference a book from 1988.

While you wonder where Wells has been all season, you can also play a rousing rendition of "Where's Waldo?" during the Jays-Mariners series.

For the purposes of this exercise, we'll call it "Where's the Beest?" as people keep their eyes peeled for Jays interim CEO Paul Beeston.

There is a catch, however.

Beeston, you see, is said to be on vacation.

Geesh!

Even the team’s CEO doesn't want to stick around and watch these guys play.

So... fans ought come out to the Rogers Centre to play a game that they already know is fucking unwinnable? Who are they, the Toronto Blue Jays? Heyo!

In the name of rational thought, Tother, please fucking stop!!!!!!

Reason Five: “Finally, the best reason of all to head to Rogers Centre this weekend,” he writes. “With the Jays at home for the final time this year, Toronto fans can at least be thankful that they don't have to watch the Argos.”

Oh no he motherfucking didn’t! Not the Argos!! Please, Tother, don’t shit on the fucking ARGOS!!!

Because that would just make too much goddamn sense… in an article… about why Jays fans should come out for the last homestand… written by a retard…

Honest to god, why even fucking bother? How does one even do it? How does one make a those two statements at the top—“I have absolutely no sympathy for Jays fans” and “there are plenty of good reasons to head to the ballpark one more time”—then shit out the 500 words that followed and still not somehow clue in that, hey, I’m completely full of shit!

The mind boggles.

Game Threat... Uh... Yeah...

Sorry...wasn't paying attention. Here's your pointless Jays-Mariners game threat.

Layin’ Down The Law – Philosophical Shift?

Ugh. I don’t know what to make of this nugget from Keith Law’s ESPN chat this afternoon:

Ed (Toronto)

Keith, what was the "fairly trivial" amount of money that came between the Jays and Eliopoulos? Is Ricciardi to blame for this draft mess, or Lalonde? Or someone else?

Keith Law

It sounds like around $300-$400K extra would have gotten both Eliopoulos and Paxton done, maybe a touch more, but not much. I can't tell you whom to blame, because the stories I've heard vary, although it does sound like there was a late philosophical shift back to adhering to slot.

A late philosophical shift back to adhering to slot?!??!? What the cock-gobbling fuck is that?

Jesus, if only there was some person who oversaw the day-to-day operations of this shit show of a franchise and could actually answer some of these questions for us frustrated dwindling masses.

What a concept, huh? A person whose job it would be to actually make baseball decisions, and then justify them, via the press, to the fans who follow the team. Shit. I realize that I’m dreaming in Technicolor—that such positions couldn’t possibly exist out here in the real world—but it sure is nice to wonder about, isn’t it? . . .

Game Threat: Jays vs. Orioles

Lazy threat today because I just finished answering Griffin's mail bag. So... yeah... this is it.

Toronto Blue Jays

J. Bautista rf
A. Hill 2b
A. Lind dh
V. Wells cf
E. Encarnacion 3b
L. Overbay 1b
R. Barajas c
T. Snider lf
J. McDonald ss

Scott Richmond (6-10, 5.31)

Baltimore Orioles

F. Pie cf
C. Izturis ss
M. Wieters dh
N. Markakis rf
L. Scott lf
J. Turner 3b
M. Aubrey 1b
C. Moeller c
R. Andino 2b

Jeremy Guthrie (10-15, 5.05)

Stoeten Answers Griffin’s Mail Bag – 09/23/09

Well, since we’ve got the interview over with—and since there’s not much else I care to discuss at the moment—I guess I can go back to answering Griffin’s mail bag, eh? I don’t know… you got anything better?

Well, OK, I could respond to this Ken Fidlin piece in the Toronto Sun where Cito Gaston explains what he thinks the team needs next season—how cute!—but it would be quick and predictably pissy, so… pass.

Q: Read your piece on Johnny Mac - wonderful read! I hope Cito read it too and does give him the start in that last home game; the fans deserve that pleasure as much as McDonald himself. I have two related questions for you. Where do you see McDonald landing next year? Is there a team out there that appears to fit for him more than another? Secondly, while it seems obvious (and positive!) that the Jays will try to resign Marco Scutaro, who do see them turning to in the event that he signs elsewhere? The only name that comes to mind immediately is Orlando Cabrera, someone I know they expressed interest in last year. Thanks, as always!

Jon Empringham, Woodstock, Ont.

Well, obviously Johnny Mac will be starting for the foreseeable future, what with Marco’s lower body injury. Scutaro seems to think he can make it back to play this season, but… why? I’m sure he’ll be ready for the Venezuelan Winter Ball season, though, for all you LVBP poolies.

What happens in the off-season could go a number of ways. There is no ready replacement for Scutaro in the Jays system—thank you very much, JP Ricciardi—so they’ll have to look elsewhere for him if he doesn’t re-sign. O-Cab is clinging to Type A free agent status according to Eddie Bajek’s latest crack at the Elias Rankings over on MLBTR, and I imagine that, coupled with his .683 OPS, would be enough to scare teams off. I’ve said a number of times—even though I’m not sure I believe it myself—that I think teams are going to be scared off by the red flags on Scutaro—his age, asking price, the fact that he’s Type A and will require surrendering a high draft pick to the Jays, and the fact that he’s never had a season nearly as good as this one in his career—which may have him wind up back in the Jays’ lap at a reasonable price. The shortstop market is kind of shit though, which is why I’m not sure that will happen, but if it does, I hope they re-sign him.

There’s word of JJ Hardy possibly being made available for trade, and the Jays have some young starting pitching that should have no trouble dealing with the shitbag lineups in the NL, which the Brewers would probably covet, so maybe there’s something there, but honestly, until we know whether the Jays will have the money to aim high, or whether they’ll have to either get creative or take their usual trip to the scrap heap, it’s hard to say what’s going to happen.

As for Johnny Mac… speaking of shitbag lineups in the NL, he certainly seems like he might be a better fit in the AAAA League, where the lineups won’t make his bat look quite so glaringly awful, and where there are managers who might actually make an intelligent defensive substitution once in a while. I have no idea, specifically, who might want him, but with his defensive ability, he’s always going to have a job somewhere. (Well, not always, but you know what I mean…)

Q: Hi Richard Stoeten:

In your last mailbag, Sept 16, you said the Jays should field their best defensive team. Given the errors, missed cutoff men and missed defensive opportunities generally I could not agree with you more. In listing the lineup that would provide that defence you placed Lind at DH and Snider in left field. Shouldn't that be reversed? Snider is consistently missing cutoffs and sometimes seems shaky out there. (A ball went off his glove on what should have been a catch this past week.) Isn't Lind currently a better defensive option? This would also allow Snider to focus on how to deal with big league pitching. Keep up the great work!

Tim Rorke, Timmins, Ont.

Um… holy fuck no. Snider is not going to win any Gold Gloves, but I’ll take a couple missed cutoff men and the odd clanger off the glove over watching Adam Lind’s Adventures In Finding A Path To The Ball any day of the week and several more times on Sunday. Snider is at least passable and has the much better arm. Lind won’t absolutely kill you… kind of… but good fucking lord, ugh. No, it should definitely be Snider there.

As for my supposed claim that the Jays should field their best defensive team the rest of the year, one of us must have been high, because that’s fucking insanity. It’s vastly more important to take a look at the bats of guys like Randy Ruiz and Kyle Phillips than it is to worry about who is or isn’t a pylon in the field right now.

Q: Hi Richard Stoeten,

I have followed the Jays now pretty closely for several years and read your mailbag with much intrigue. To me the Jays are really not that far off being a contender. We have two great power hitters in Hill and Lind. We have an under-performing star who I believe will no doubt bounce back in Wells. The Jays have a core group of good players. Except for the important win-loss column we are not terribly behind in overall stats with our big spending friends south of the border.

This is a big if, but IF we are able to spend a little more (Paul Beeston suggested we could see a roster worth $120 million given the right business plan) could we not put together a winning team next year? If you had the additional 55-odd million available to spend for next year, what would you do to get us over this bump? Am I in lala land here in thinking this is even possible?

Bryan Freeman, Oakville

Bryan, first off, I certainly am not ready call Aaron Hill a “great power hitter” just yet. He’s had a great season, it’s true, and he’s a very good hitter, but I’d be surprised if he’s able to duplicate these kind of power numbers. And Wells could take to shooting heroin in the dugout next season and still probably not be as bad as he has been this year, but I wouldn’t count on much of a bounce back from him.

Still, you’re not crazy to think it’s possible the Jays could patch a contender together in the off-season. I just wouldn’t hold my breath. Personally, I think they’re going to throw the fans a bone by handing out a few short-term, low-risk high-reward contracts to veterans this winter and hope for the best on the field, while trying to get their fucking shit together internally for a run a couple years down the line. I think they’re going to be able to put together a team capable of hanging with the Red Sox and Yankees (and Rays) through the balance of the summer, but probably in the same way they’ve been doing for years, unless they manage a pickup or two that really outperforms his contract—like Bobby Abreu this year, or Frank Thomas when he signed with the A’s the year before some other team flushed a bunch of money down the toilet on him.

Of course, if they manage a coup—or a coup d’etat as Sportsnet’s Ryan Johnson might say (hahaha)—like a Jason Bay signing, then I suppose they’d really have something to legitimately believe in, but again… I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Q: Hi Richard Stoeten,

Question I've been wondering for quite some time now. In pucks, players get paid less in the minors and more in the majors (two way contracts and all that); on the same note, how much do minor league players get paid when they get called up? Pro-rated version of the league minimum? And the same thing with guys who are signed and sent down; do they get their regular major league stipend or the minor league stuff? I tried figuring it out but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Let me know!

Nicholas Hung, London

Pass. Check Griff’s mail bag for the answer to the one.

Q: Hi there.

Why isn’t Cito Gaston playing Randy Ruiz on a more constant basis? The season has been over for months now and this is a great time to see what he’s got. From what I've seen, this guy seems to hit a bomb every three or four games. Why isn’t he in the lineup everyday? Ruiz could be in the starting nine next year with the type of power he’s showing.

Dave Roberts, Brantford

Well, Dave, it beats the living fuck out of me. But… let’s not go nuts. Ruiz deserves a chance, absolutely. I think it’s asinine to not worry about pissing away a chance to get more data on what he can do at the major league level, instead figuring that it’s fine to take wait until next spring to take a look. It’s just, I suspect the Jays are hoping to have a more proven commodity in the DH spot next year, with Ruiz as a backup plan, regardless of what he does this month. If they go ahead and give Ruiz a full-time gig next year they might as well wave their white flag on April 1, because it will mean they spent fuck all over the winter, and are in the beginning stages of a full-on rebuild. So… ugh.

But I do have mixed feelings about this. I mean, what the fuck are these meaningless games for if not for taking a look at a guy like Ruiz who has absolutely nothing left to prove at any other level? It’s ridiculous that they’re not playing him, because you’d think there’d probably be some role for him here next year—limited as it may be—if you think he can handle MLB pitching. So, why not take a look? But that doesn’t mean I think that, even if they were playing him every day and he was absolutely killing it, they should hand him the DH job next year based on that.

Q: Hi Richard,

Let's say in a wildly altruistic move, Vernon Wells decides to option out of his contract so he can play for a team in the playoff hunt, or close to home or just wants to get rid of the criticism. Would the player's union allow him to do that? At the least, wouldn't they advise him not to opt out? I know their concern is for their players to make top dollar.

Kevin Layman, St. John's

I don’t know the ins-and-outs all that well, but I’d wager that while the PA would have a bit of a fucking hissy fit about it, I don’t think they could actually force him to do anything. Not that there’s a chance in hell he’ll do it anyway. And frankly, I disdain the whole idea some fans have that they might be able to make Vernon so intensely fucking miserable that he might choose to stop being a fucking lead weight around the franchise’s neck. It’s absolutely the wrong course of action to take, and I don’t just say that because I loathe the thought of anything that encourages fans who come down to Rogers Centre to act like bigger fucking assholes.

I mean, I guess I appreciate the attempt at logic which says that if VW could be made unhappy enough to actually fucking flush $60-million—but isn’t there a little more logic in taking a look at his home/road splits this year (.307/.340/.454/.794 on the road, and .214/.287/.347/.634 at home [Note: HOLY FUCK.]) and thinking… hey… maybe the fucking suffocating criticism raining ubiquitously down from the stands is—I don’t know—making him worse???

I mean, for fuck sakes people, if you had the same player at home that you’ve got on the road… that’s fucking fine. Not $20-million per year fine, but fine—as in not un-be-fucking-lievably shitbaggingly brutal.

Angler Dave Mercer “Casts” The First Pitch At Rogers Centre

Note: I don’t like to double-post stuff both here and at TheScore.com Blog, but this video seems appropriate for both, so fuck it…

I don’t fish—though I have given myself a fishing nickname, “The Ace Of Bass”, just in case I ever take it up—and, at this point in this waste of a season, I don’t go to Blue Jays games, either. Had it happened in, say, June, when I was still going to just about every game, I wouldn’t have had to catch this clip via Total Pro Sports. Obviously, though, from the looks of the crowd, I’m not the only one who missed this one-of-a-kind ceremonial first pitch, which happened a couple nights ago, before the Jays and Orioles pointlessly did battle at the Rogers Centre.

Hahaha. And apparently this video is actually from The Score, which I guess I should have known... but... well... I didn't.

Game Threat and Stuff: Jays (67-83) vs. Orioles (60-90)

There are a few things of note to take a gander at before tonight’s game, because… I got nothing.

First off, fucking eh to Jeff Blair in the Globe for running the risk of being called a racist and saying that “leaving aside the hints that Gaston is not exactly universally loved in the clubhouse [ruh-roh! -- Ed.], the Blue Jays ownership must bring in a new manager to run the field operations.”

Second, I’m just listening to last night’s JaysTalk over on Wilner’s blog, and fuck… this wasn’t what I wanted talk about, and... fuck it, I don’t give a shit if I get accused of just parroting Wilner: can these fucking morons who keep conjuring up the grim spectre of the Montreal Expos please seriously fuck off.

And can these people—especially the ones from outside of Toronto, for whom it’s very easy to say—who insist that fans should be coming out, and that if I were in Toronto, I’d sure be coming out to waste my time and money on this absolute fucking waste of a team, please stop.

I mean, I understand that people are scared of this damn Expos scenario, seeing as it comes up over and over and over, but seriously, if you're making this comparison you need to understand the history of the Expos a little better. Larry Walker was allowed to walk after the nineteen-ninety fucking four season, Pedro got too expensive and was traded to Boston after 1997. Ken Hill, John Wetteland, Moises Alou, Rondell White, Vladimir Guererro, Orlando Cabrera. Did not pretty much all of these guys leave for financial reasons?

And the attendance. Um… over seven seasons from 1998 to 2004 only once did the Expos average more than 12,000 fans per game—including four seasons where their average was less than the worst ever crowd in the history of the Rogers Centre. After 1994 their average attendance never again broke 20,000.

Compare that to the Jays, where before this shit season, they had never averaged less than 20,000 at Rogers Centre, and in fact, attendance has risen each of the last six years, peaking at over 29,000 last year. Even though we know some of that was Paul Godfrey's handiwork, you just can't say what we're experiencing is anything close to what they did.

Honestly, it’s piss down the throat of Expos fans to even try to claim there’s symmetry in the two situations. Those poor fucks took kicks to the balls for fucking years before everything finally went down the toilet. It was a slow and painful death, and as much as contracts like the ones handed out to guys like Wells, Thomas, Ryan, Rios and Burnett have, for the most part, fucking sucked, at least ownership here has been willing to try to play the big money game-- and in the pretty recent past, too.

Plus Montreal's shitty stadium is—where?—in the equivalent of Don Mills? Scarborough? A fuckload of their corporate base steaming down the 401 to Toronto for a couple decades certainly didn't help the situation either, and they made the playoffs how often exactly? Cripes all-fucking-mighty! The Expos were a shit show-- with a good enough farm system and scouting department to half-decently patch all the gaping holes.

Seriously, I know this year has been bad for the Jays, I know that with no plan to get better there’s not a lot of hope for this club—but you know that, whateverthefuck it is, one's coming—and I know that attendance can’t stay this low forever without the team actually being in peril, but in the land of reality we're a long way from that and some of us need to seriously get a fucking grip.

How soon we forget that three of the best baseball crowds this city has seen since the glory days—the Canada-US matchup, Opening Day, and the Halladay-Burnett game—came during the last six months. The fact that it took sixteen years without the playoffs for attendance to finally bottom out like this is actually kind of a testament to the strength of this city as a baseball town—isn’t it?—just like the incredible, knowledgeable, know-when-to-cheer crowd during the WBC is a testament to how, if there’s a good baseball product for them to watch, people will come out. And… for fuck sakes, we know Rogers has the money to make the team better if they want to, and aren't these tiny crowds finally forcing them into a position where they see that they have to make the team better? Isn't that kind of OK?

So seriously… can the fucking pity party come to a fucking end already please?

Toronto Blue Jays

J. Bautista rf
A. Hill 2b
E. Encarnacion 3b
V. Wells cf
R. Barajas c
K. Millar 1b
R. Ruiz dh
T. Snider lf
J. McDonald ss

Brian Tallet (7-9, 5.31)

Baltimore Orioles

B. Roberts 2b
F. Pie cf
M. Wieters c
L. Scott lf
M. Mora 3b
T. Wigginton dh
L. Montanez rf
M. Aubrey 1b
C. Izturis ss

Mark Hendrickson (5-5, 4.47)